Official Newsletter of the Old-Time Hockey Over-30 League
24 Years and counting
Article 314 March 26, 2016
Game results and Player(s) of the Week
Week of March 19 (Game 1) – One week after winning their first game and believing that miracles could happen, Island of Misfit Toys beliefs came crashing down hard to earth. What was on full display was what has been happening all too frequently this season and the previous season, the lack of goaltending, leaving the forwards and defensemen beyond frustrated, knowing that no matter how much they try, every shot is an adventure and they don’t know if a goal will be scored or a save will be made. The facts are indisputable as Labatt Blues simply crushed Island of Misfit Toys by the lopsided score of 9 – 1! Yes, there were a few defensive turnovers that resulted in goals, but, the majority of the goals scored were a direct result of a lack of goaltending. Scores like these should simply not happen in the Over-30 league!
On a side note, recognition goes out to Anthony Lauletta of Labatt Blues with a breakout performance as he scored
4-goals and added 1-assist to lead the offense for his team.
Week of March 19 (Game 2) – With a golden opportunity staring them in the face, Consigliere had a prime opportunity to finally clinch that elusive final playoff spot. Things looked promising early in the third period to do just that, until halfway through the period, Broken Promises took it all away by scoring two goals in less than a minute to grab the momentum and the win with a very close 5 – 3 victory. This game had a playoff feel to it considering the implications and Broken Promises is now only one game out of first place.
In the first period, in a tight checking game, Broken Promises struck first as Mauro Colucciello (5-goals scored in his last five games) found himself open on the right wing, set up by brother John and John Mastrocola to score the game’s opening goal halfway into the period. Only three minutes later, Consigliere answered right back as their captain Mike Luise found himself in the right place at the right time out front as he converted a set-up from Pat Pirone and Joe Mancinelli to tie this game.
Early in the second period, Consigliere took the lead when Steve Witkus was left all alone at the right point to unleash a bomb, set up by Mike and Joe. However, Broken Promises answered back less than two minutes later, as Alex Leone took advantage of a turnover, moved down from the left point and scored top corner on his own bomb, set up by Cooch and John Kelleher, tying this game once again. A bit of controversy took place two minutes later as the Broken Promises defenseman tried making a cross rink pass from deep in the corner to his wing only to have Pat react out front with the ball hitting his stick and going into the net giving Consigliere the apparent lead; however after the referee’s got together it was determined that Pat’s stick was above his shoulder, negating this goal.
Two minutes into the third period, a quick transition sequence had Steve Witkus move the ball up to Gino Tammaro on the wing, who found Otak Deluca wide open in the high slot, who didn’t miss and buried his scoring chance, giving Consigliere the lead. Momentum was clearly on the side of Consigliere. With just under six minutes remaining, Niko Vramis took a pass from John Kelleher and Cooch to move up the right wing and take a slap shot that dipped and curved in one motion to find the back of the net just under the cross bar to re-tie this game. Before everyone could get past the surprise of seeing Niko’s shot that was going over the net, go into the net, less than a minute later, John Kelleher’s slap shot from the left point, on a set up by Niko and Cooch somehow found the back of the net through a screen, giving Broken Promises the lead again. Each team had scoring chances after that to score, but, John Mastrocola sealed the win with an open net goal with eighteen seconds to play.
Trash Can Talk
Thanks Tosh.O Disclaimer
Retractions & Apologies
Before we precede with this weeks “Trash Talk” portion of the forum… we must issue a retraction and share our apologies to Jim Clarke.
We accidentally affiliated Jim with his former team Island of Misfit Toys and credited him with being part of the “Magnificent Seven” that won their first game of the season. Jimmy was moved to slightly more successful team in Consigliere and they currently have 2-more wins than the bottom dwellers.
Mike Surette admittedly wanted credit for being on the last place team and part of the “Magnificent Seven” that went 1-6-1-1 (before last week’s loss) to make them 1-7-1-1.
We apologize to Jim Clarke for defamation of character and to BIG Mike Surette congrats on your first (and probably only win of the season).
Recall Ball Notice
Ok, so we had the ceremonial presentation (including a photo opt) for Umberto “Papa Smurf” Biancardi and his 100th point of his Over-30 Career. But, before you put that ball on the mantle… we did the math.
Umberto had 90-points going into the 2016 Spring Season… so only 10-points and he reaches his first milestone, Buuuut…. Umberto has 2-Goal and 7-Assists (2+7=9)
So it’s up to you Papa… Keep #99 and pretend, or give it back and wait for the real 100th point ball.
Recall Captain Notices
To continue with recalls since we are already recalling “Papa Smurf’s” 99-point ceremonial ball… We all want to recall Captain Scott Young’s Captaincy.
To be a leader… you need to be present. Playing in only 50% of their games, we’re petitioning the league to replace Scotty’s “C” with an “A”… Sure we can let him think it means “Assistant Captain”… be we all know it will represent “Absent”.
Colleen O'Connell had an elsewhere to be… and Mike Naczas benched himself and got the hell out of dodge before the ensuring ass kicking that Island of Misfit Toys was about to endure.
Those were probably two of the smartest defensive moves they made this season.
On a must win game with a full roster facing the #2 team… we had high hopes for the “Great One” and his band of merry men, but that hope turned to sympathy as we had to watch Labatt Blues throw a 9-1 beating and all but squash Island of Misfit Toys playoff hopes.
“Greatest Comeback in Over-30 History”?
That is what #5 Bill Abcunas was telling reporters before their embarrassing attempt to put together a 2-game win streak.
Trying to build on their first win of the season and fighting off Consigliere for the last playoff seed… Bill’s prediction would be the equivalent of Babe Ruth pointing to the centerfield bleachers.., and then striking out looking.
For the “Greatest Comeback in Over-30 History” to still happen… Island of Misfit Toys MUST win their last 2-games and hope Consigliere loses their last two game. Anything less and Matty Iannello along with his toys become playoff spectators.
Referee or Waiter?
What was Tono Bono doing?
Was Tony being punished and forced to ref a game… or was he trying out for a referee position after his Over-30 career comes to an end?
We’re pretty sure you need to pass a referee test before donning the stripes… which is probably why Tony looks more like a waiter than a referee.
Hi I'm Tony and I'll be taking your order
Tony… Next time we see you wearing this shirt you better have a Black Pepper Cracker in your hands instead of a whistle.
Conspiracy Theory #5
Did anyone catch the referee swap after game #1? Tony Bono who refed game one was tapped on the shoulder and sent to the showers after a replacement ref came out of the bullpen to referee game #2
The 2nd referee resembled a player from the previous losing team that wore #5.
So to our conspiracy theorist… was the swap made because Tony had a one-game tryout? Or… was ref #2 on the dek to ensure that Broken Promises beats Consigliere and keeps Island of Misfit Toys from being mathematically eliminated.
If I told you that someone before the game was eating yogurt and doing leg stretches that resemble a ballerina… you would automatically assume I was talking about Colleen O’Connell.
Wrong!!! The “yogurt eating, ballerina stretching” player was none other than Pat “Stop calling me a reformed Goon” Pirone.
A couple more years Pat and you can share Dan Broderick’s pre-game Metamucila and a bowl of bran flakes.., followed by Dan’s patented suicide sprints.
No More “Stonehands”
Did you notice Gary Goodwin bring the game to halt while he lay in agony in the offensive zone?
Despite what the Goodwin critics say… Gary does not indeed have “Stonehands” because the agony Gary was suffering was from a slash to his hands and his paper-thin baseball gloves.
While Gary was walking to the bench shaking his hand in pain… it was debated as to why Gary needs baseball gloves instead of hockey gloves.
Some finesse players say they can “feel” the ball on their stick better with thin gloves. We would not put Gary in that “finesse” category with 2-Goals and 4-Assists, so Gary can we recommend you purchase some new “hockey” gloves and stick you game of “reckless physical intimidating fore-checking”
Pat Pirone easily had the best and worst defense of his “High-Sticking/Goal Penalty”
On a Bang-Bang Broken Promises defensive screw-up… Pat found himself in front of their goalie with a ball coming at him “shoulder height”. Pat’s instincts had him slapping the ball mid-flight and past Scotty Rosato.
After further review it was deemed a “High Stick” and instead of celebrating a goal, Pat found himself in a familiar place, the penalty box.
Before going into the Sin Bin for a minute… Pat very animated argued that it had to be “Conclusive Evidence” to reverse the call. Where the “F” are we going to get “Conclusive Evidence”… roll back the film, ask the goal judge, or place a call to Toronto?
The referees got together and calculated that your shoulder height is above the cross bar height… and thus the high-sticking penalty.
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