Official Newsletter of the Old-Time Hockey Over-30 League
24 Years and counting
Article 315 April 2, 2016
Game results and Player(s) of the Week
Someone didn't do their job.... again!!!
When Billy doesn't do his "One job"... players don't get to read about their amazing goals and people end up shitting in an elevator.
Do you job!!!
Trash Can Talk
Thanks Tosh.O Disclaimer
Welcome back Tim Hickey… Tim was sidelined for a few weeks from an undisclosed “lower body” injury.
We also suspect there was some kind of settlement in his personal lawsuit. Tim’s body was suing his legs for “non-support”. Did anyone else ever notice how skinny his legs are… no wonder he had a “lower body” injury.
Conclusive Evidence – Part 2
One again Pat Pirone found himself in the penalty box for a lack of “Conclusive Evidence”.
Pat was witnessed being his former self nuisance out in front of Labatt Blues Goaltender Billy Gardynski Jr. Pat “I’m playing till the whistle blows” Pirone was mixing it up with Jr and somehow Pat lost his stick.
However, before Pat could pick it up… Billy Jr kicked it about 10-feet from his crease.
Pat was then seen admittedly crying foul and looking for a ref to penalize Billy. But, without “Conclusive Evidence” play resumed and on the next encounter found both Billy and Pat getting rung up for 2-minutes… and taking Gary Goodwin with them.
The 2016 Winter Season hasn’t even started yet and we already have a potential team name.
It seems Bill Abcunas didn’t play in last weeks “Must Win” game of the season. He says he was “hurting”… but we know what the real reason was. Billy was suffering from “depression” and the sick feeling of being bounced from even making the playoffs.
Unfortunately for the 12-players who played in front of Billy Gardynski Sr this season all seemed to suffer a weekly case of “depression” typically lasting 1-hour a week on Saturday.
So for the 2016 Winter Season which ever Captain draws the short straw and gets Billy Gardynski Sr as their goalie… may we propose the name “Team Zoloft”
Johnny on the spot
2-weeks we posted a photo of Tony Medeiros wearing a hospital gown johnny… Tony was in for some super-secret upgrades and enhancements to further improve his already proven Playoff MVP and Championship game.
However, Tony liked the rear AC that the johnny provided and decided he was going to use it for the first shift of his game.
So for you ladies that read the forum… if you want to bid on Tony’s game worn johhny, I’m sure he’ll autograph it and throw in a game used stick as well.
One & Done
One & Done… No we are not talking about losing a game in the playoffs… we are talking about Jim Barber’s current goal scoring streak.., One & Done!
With 2-games left to play Jim finally found the back of the net on a breakaway against the league siv Billy Gardynski Sr. Jim’s one and only goal of the season just happened to be the GWG and the straw that broke the camel’s back and sent his idol Matty Iannello and League Director home for summer vacation.
Basketball has a “Flagrant Foul”… and 4-pete Champion Jamie Kehoe has his version of a “Flatulence Foul”.
Jamie must have either had Mexican for lunch… or been a little nervous playing forward, because late in the third while lining up for a faceoff, Jamie let rip what sounded like an F# Sharp from the butt trumpet.
Thankfully for Jamie’s sake that’s not a real hockey penalty, and if it was…it would become another call the Refs didn’t see… or hear.
Call your shot
First… let us refresh your memory about “Calling Your Shot”
For Tony Medeiros and Billy Gardynski Sr it was… “off his blade”… “off the glass behind the net”… “two bounces off the floor”… and.., “off the goalie” who mishandled what amounted to a dump in flip and ended up scoring a goal on himself.
Had we been nominating another “Goal of the Year”… that might have had an unexpected chance of being the winner.
A goalie scoring a goal on himself… that wasn’t even a shot on net.
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