Official Newsletter of the Old-Time Hockey Over-30 League
24 Years and counting
Article 291 September 19, 2015
Game results and Player(s) of the Week
Week of August 29 – This week focused on a singular player, Shawn Miville of Labatt Blues. In the history of the Over-30 league, no player previously has accomplished what Shawn did on opening day in his triumphant return to the league. Shawn scored 5 goals in his game, finishing with 13 shots taken in the game, as his Labatt Blues team cruised to an easy 7 - 2 win over Island of Misfit Toys. Shawn’s first goal scored at the end of the first period was a thing of beauty as he simply toyed with the goalie, waiting him out as he was flopping on the rink floor before calmly roofing his shot top corner. Rumors floating around prior to the new season beginning said that there was a new scoring sheriff in town to end the scoring reign of the Great One. Looks like those rumors are true as ironically the Great One was on the losing end of this rout watching the performance first-hand.
There was another game played this week, as Broken Promises held on for a 5 – 3 win over Consigliere. Our apologies to Broken Promises but as previously stated this week was the Shawn Miville show!
Week of September 12 (Game 1) – Winning their second straight game to open the new season, Broken Promises were led by the offensive outburst of John Mastrocola as they shutout Island of Misfit Toys by an 8 – 0 score.
After a scoreless first period, Broken Promises scored four goals in the second period, led by John Mastrocola’s 2-goals, and goals from Nick Romano and John Colucciello. Things did not get any better for Island of Misfit Toys in the third period, as John completed his hat trick and also added 2-assists, Niko Vramis joined the offensive party scoring his second goal in as many games, Nicky scored his second goal of the game, and sure to be overlooked by the offensive output of John Mastrocola, Mauro Colucciello also played a big part in the win by scoring 1-goal and adding 4-assists.
For Island of Misfit Toys, only two weeks into a new season and already there are issues coming from between the pipes with a lack of performance as 15 goals have been scored against their team, and the observation from opposing players is that the goalie is giving up and not trying. The focus is squarely on the goalie who needs to step up his game, put an end to the perception of giving up, and earn back the trust and confidence of the players in front of him.
Week of September 12 (Game 2) – In a game played between two high powered offenses, this turned into a defensive contest as HABitual Complainers came behind from a two goal deficit, storming back to win a close 3 – 2 victory over Labatt Blues.
After a scoreless first period, who else but Shawn Miville scored in the first minute of the second period for Labatt Blues and then increased his team’s lead only four minutes later by scoring his 7th goal after only two games played.
Entering the third period, HABitual Complainers needed a spark and got it from an unexpected source, as rookie Brian Kehoe found himself in the right place at the right time, banging home a rebound only thirty seconds into the period. Halfway through the period on a power play, rookie Jason Carrien was set up by Dominic Defrancisco on the right point, whose shot found the back of the net through a screen to tie this game up. Just over two minutes later, Dominic completed the comeback for HABitual Complainers by scoring out front set up by the rookie combination of Brian and Joe “Stumpy” Carlton.
An interesting observation of Labatt Blues is that of the 9 goals scored so far this season, Shawn Miville has scored 7 of them. The question is if an opposing team manages to contain Shawn will anyone else on the team step up and score?
Trash Can Talk
Thanks Tosh.O Disclaimer
GAA Formula Calculation
Let’s address the Elephant in the room… Billy Gradynski Sr’s - GAA.
The Senior Gardynski let in so many goals last week that the pen Kellie was using to document the slaughter ran out of ink.
To make matters worse… we had to send the first two game sheets for Island of Misfist Toys to Harvard Business School and have one of their professors calculate Sr’s GAA.
After 2-hours and a lot of chalk… the answer was 7.5 GAA and I think we also solved his DNA history and his Girl Scout Cookie budget in the process.
Feel good memories
Hey Sr… Wake up!! This is not a bad dream and no one is going to come give you a hug and a starburst to make you feel better. You’re going to have to dig down and snap out of this funk you got yourself into.
I know you must be a little nervous with Colleen “Okie” O’Connell in front of you… but she’s a two-time back-to-back champion (like you were once) and a “2015 Goal of the Year Nominee”, so you can’t “Blame the Girl”
What I can do for you is take you down memory lane and try to re-inspire you.
Upgrade or Downgrade?
So all the teams have at least one game under their belt and we decided to take a look at a few line combinations and see who upgraded and who downgraded.
First up Mark Stickney… Coming off a successful run of championships with former line mates Jim Barber and John Desmond, Mark is now centering Shawn Miville and Anthony Lauletta. We expect this to be one of the top lines in the league as evident by Shawn’s (7) Goals in two games. ~ Verdict: Upgrade
George Medeiros and Sergio Costa were once part of the deadliest 2nd line combo with John Mastrocola. George and Sergio scrapped their former Italian winger for another Portuguese big mouth Carlos Machado. Carlos is good all around “Lou Merloni” utility player… but he lacks the speed that Johnny brought to the line. ~ Verdict: Downgrade
Nick Romano last season played with Tony Mastrocola, Carlos Machado and Umberto “Papa Smurf” Biancardi. This year the States “Plow Master General” is centering Niko Vramis and Mauro Colucciello. Without Brother John Colucciello dragging down Niko and Mauro… Look for Nick and company to be top second line combo. ~ Verdict: Upgrade
Matty Iannello and Ray Nickerson helped former right winger AnthonyLauletta have a couple of (back-to-back) Top 5 scoring seasons but now Matty and Ray are now teamed up with Mike O’Neil and jury is still out on this combination.
Mike is a talented player on his own, but is prone to missing games regularly and he has to rely less on his talent and more on his Captains advice. Playing with Matty and Ray you have to “Expect the unexpected” from Matty and endure all the tongue lashes from Ray in regards to how wide open he was on the left side. ~ Verdict: Continued without a finding
The Scarlet Patch
There are five “Marked” players this season. Jim Barber, Tony Bono, Scott Young, Matt Iannello and Tony Medeiros are all sporting patches this year denoting their previous achievement (or lack of) for the Pink Stick Bag Challenge.
Despite what “The Great One” Matty Iannello is trying to pitch about “Breast Cancer Awareness”… the pink badge of “Failure” serves as a reminder that he is human and he joins the ranks of Jim Barber and Tony Medeiros as “Failures”
Tony Bono and Scott Young can wear their “Passed” badge with honor… although in this reporters eyes Tony should be wearing “Pink” too, if Alby Luise could have just made one more save with 27-seconds left in Tony’s challenge.
What’s so significant about the #14? It’s actually a “little” ironic. Both John and Tony Mastrocola wear #14 and by sheer coincidence they need a total of 14-Goals to beat the “Pink Stick Bag Challenge”. Also if you add their two numbers and the goals required (14+14+14) = 42 … which is actually Tony’s height in inches.
Tony’s 42” frame is why he can’t ride a lot of rides at Disney… and why Mickey is always yelling at him that break is over and to get back to work on the “It’s a small world” attraction.
Man on a mission
Someone is taking the “Pink Stick Bag Challenge” very seriously while someone else is playing possum. Johnny Mastrocola was on fire last week scoring (3) of the 14-goals needed to complete the challenge… while bother Tony Mastrocola was playing possum in the corner. Johnny was heard yelling “Between the gaps” to “Get up and pull his own weight” so Johnny doesn’t have to be the one to score all 14-goals.
Bad news John… we are officially filing a petition to the league to only allow only 1.5 of your goals to be counted towards the challenge. We feel that you were taking advantage of Billy Gardynski Sr’s dismal start and had an unfair competitive advantage.
The Portuguese Godfather
What Marlon Brando was to the “Corleone Famly”… John Leite is to the “Leite Family”
As the Portuguese Godfather and Matchmaker, John decides who is worthy enough to date and marry his sisters.
First up; after kissing John’s ring and asking for his blessing, Tony Medeiros was granted permission to marry John’s sister Denise. This was followed by the once 2014 Co-Leading Scorer Dominic DeFransico asking “Don John” if he could date his other sister Christine.
Though John was disappointed with Dominic’s “Co-Leading Scorer” title and not being the Sole Leading Scorer… it was only after Dominic’s explanation of how he was robbed of the title by a whining Matty Iannello that John granted Dominic permission to date his sister.
We also heard that his permission comes with the stipulation that John must always play on the same team as Tony and Dominic… otherwise there will be the Portuguese equivalent of a horse’s head in their beds. We have to believe it would be some part of a suckling pig.
Which leads us to ask the question:
Does John have?
(A) Hot Sisters
(B) Blind Sisters
(C) Desperate Sisters... who are willing to marry the Portuguese Power Duo?
The stipulation associated with the “Pink Stick Bag Challenge” is if you “Fail” that you must wear something pink the following season. For Jim Barber it was pink wrist bands and for Matty Iannello it was a pink necklace.
Leave it to the Portuguese to one up the challenge punishment phase… and went “Everything Pink”. Tony Medeiros took the challenge to a whole new level when he showed up and walked all the way through Hockeytown dressed completely in pink.
One of the players heard a parent downstairs say “He must have lost a bet”… well as we all know, he did lose a bet and Tony earned himself a new nickname this season. Instead of the “Portuguese Power”… we are now referring to him as Tony “The Flamingo” Medeiros.
Isn’t “sHE” pretty in pink
Tony “The Flamingo” Medeiros strutted in loud and proud in his pink attire that would have made Molly Ringwald jealous.
Take note Tony & John Mastrocola… The “Flamingo” has turned the pink punishment into something worthy of a Hasty Pudding crossdressing entrance and you two better start thinking about toping that display of degradation.
Turning over a new leaf
With Tony “The Flamingo” Medeiros showing off his sense of humor instead of yelling at his own teammates it makes us wonder if Tony is turning over a new leaf.
Perhaps a friendlier and happier Medeiros will break his horrendously documented playoff record. This could be the team that takes Tony, Dominic, and “Don John” to jacket fitting room and get some more Portuguese names etched onto that trophy.
Ed Nigro shuts down Miville
Ed Nigro maybe into his twilight of his playing career…but don’t tell that to Shawn Miville. Ed went toe-to-toe with the leagues new premier superstar and had one of his best games on defense (in recent years). Not only was Ed seen breaking up Shawn and other Labatt Blues forwards that came into the offensive zone… but he did it using Dan Broderick’s signature move… the stick drop.
Congrats Mr Nigro; you blocked, dove and broke up enough offensive threats to earn yourself a cheeseburger in the process. Enjoy your “Five Guys Players of the week award”… as it might be that last individual award you get before your retirement plaque.
Matty 2nd round fantasy pick
“The Great One” was not drafted in the “First” round of the Over-30 Fantasy Draft. He would have gone in the first round if he was either (A) there to pick himself or (B) if there was seven fantasy owners… cause that’s when Matty Iannello went in the draft (Second Round, 7th pick overall). Have the mighty fallen??
Like American Idol…
Tell us who our "Top Six" performers are Mr. Ryan Seacrest.
Shawn Miville (No Surprise)
Dominic Defrancisco (Former #1 pick)
Billy Gardynski Jr (Picked by his Dad)
Ray Dow (As predicted #1 Defenseman)
Tony Medeiros (Always a top fantasy producer)
John Lasala Jr (Picked by another Defenseman)
7th overall pick - Matty Iannello (Second round after (2) Defenseman and a Goalie). The “Great One” might just become the “OK Kid”… He used to be “Great”… now he’s just “OK”.
Over-30 Fashion Corner
Move over Carlos Machado and your matching Portuguese Attire… It seems someone has just one upped you in the shorts department. Did everyone notice that after week one Shawn Miville had a pair of custom Seattle Green shorts made to match his jersey? According to Shawn “If you’re going to be the best… you might as look the best”
However on Mr Blackwell’s list of fashion foe pars… Did anyone else notice the gay little elf shoes Jay Carrien was wearing? Jay’s defense was; “They are LL Beans” and the “most comfortable shoes” he owns.
For this reporter, I don’t care if they were made out of Sabretooth Tiger Hyde and lined with Woolly Mammoth Fur… You can’t drink deer and talk hockey while wearing a pair of Peter Pan slippers.
Pierre McGuire was in the Hiz-ouse
Call it coincidence or a premonition… but on the very week we reference Pierre McGuire for the first-time ever in the P.U.T.A. Forum, he actually made an appearance in Hockeytown during last week’s ice hockey tournament.
Jay Carrien was the only Over-30 player (we know of) that actually saw him walking out… so we are pretty sure if Pierre saw Tony dressed completely in pink and Jay’s gay little elf shoes… the guy just wanted to hightail it the hell out of there.
Just in case the webmaster does have physic abilities we would like to see if any of the following people make an appearance next week: Ray Bourque, Bobby Orr, Rick Middleton, Cam Neely, Mike O’Neil, Lyndon Byers, Jack Eichel and/or Elvis.
Pink Stick Bag Challenge
"Smiling Pete Lodi" Pink Stick Bag Challenge
Challenger(s) #6 & #7 Tony and John Mastrocola
Tony and John Mastrocola aka “the Munchkin brothers”
Pink Stick Bag Points Watch Winter 2015
For the first time ever, a brother combination will collectively attempt to defeat the Pink Stick Bag Challenge. Tony and John Mastrocola are the 6th and 7th players chosen for the dreaded Pink Stick Bag Challenge. The Munchkin brothers need to score 14 total goals this season; otherwise, they will inherit the Pink Stick Bag from its newest owner and current loser of this challenge, Tony aka “the Portuguese Power Failure” Medeiros. In addition, if the Munchkin brothers fail to score 14 goals, they must wear the mandatory and visibly showing item of pink color.
For those of you who are counting, here are the game by game weekly running totals for the Munchkin brothers chase for pink stick bag infamy. This table will be posted on the website on a weekly basis so that you can all place your side bets and have a good laugh at the Munchkin brother’s expense.
(They need 14-GOALS to beat this challenge)
Highlight of the game
Looks like the silent treatment given to his critics provided no motivation in the scoring department. Time for another psychological strategy.
When Shawn Miville scores 5 of your team’s 7 goals, you aren’t going to see many passes or even the damn ball.
One of the brothers needed to have an impact game. As expected it was John providing the scoring and emotional boost for the Mastrocola
brothers by scoring a much needed natural hat trick.
After watching his brother earlier carry the scoring touch for their cause, the pressure may have gotten to Tony. Hearing those constant voices in his head reminding him to do his job, Tony decided to go head first into the boards to shut those voice critics up once and for all.
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