Welcome back all Over-30 players… Welcome to the new 2017-2018 seasons.
Forget everything that happen last year… this year it’s about redemption and motivation for a select few players;
Former Shark Attack (Captain) Jim“Captain Quint”Barber has the biggest challenge this season after missing the playoffs twice.., Jim’s hoping there is a championship team hidden inside his new Trojan Horse team.
Fellow Shark "Attack-less" Joe Carlton has to redeem his scoring touch after finishing 37th in the scoring with 6-points.., which was one spot behind defenseman Mike Naczas in 36th place with 7-points.
Lastly for Shark Attack John Colucciello had a pretty good season "stat-wise" last season with 6-Goals and 8-Assists for 14-points… but it's his unofficial (+/-) stat of (-45) for a two season total was just plain awful. Shark Attack scored 68-Goals, but gave up 93-Goals over those seasons… we "guesstimated" that John was on the dek for 70% of those goals for a (-45 +/-)
Scott“El Baby” Young has some earning to do this season… Earn his “A” or future “C” back on his jersey for 2018-2019. To do that; Scotty needs to actually show up and contribute to his team and not earn any more phantom championship jackets.
The Number #1 draft pick Shawn Miville is coming into this season highly motivated to help his Captain get back to the playoffs and to help himself to get off the “No Jacket” list.
Nick Romano was tapped on the shoulder this season to take the “Smilin Pete Lodi” Pink Stickbag Challenge. Nick’s challenge this season; 7-Goals or 6-Goals with (1) being a GWG.
To the new players and rookies;
Welcome aboard Shawn Roche... For those of you who don't know Mr Roache he's the new goalie that fills about 1/2 of the net just standing there and is sure to give Jeff Deharo a run for his money in the Leading Goalie Award.., and potentially crush Jeff's "Drive for 5" as he goes for his 5th consecutive League Leading Goalie Award
Shawn has some previous success as a fill-in goalie for the Over-30 League… but this season he’s signing on fulltime to prove to the league director that he can "Make the Over-30 Goaltending Great Again"… like the old days of Denny, Sandro, and Broderick.
Shawn will replace Tim Hickey in net and Tim and skinny legs will return to playing forward
Welcome Todd Bryson… Todd previously played 1-game for the dismal Captain Jim Barber and Shark Attack. Todd held his own as Captian Quint and his Ship of Fools sank to the bottom of the standings with no survivors.
Jim Hatch… We don’t know you… so we can’t say anything about you (yet), but fair warning… The PUTA Forum Trash Can Talk Reporter's are always watching.
Welcome back Brian"Cappy"Capodiluppo... Rumor has is you were brought in to replace Steve Witkus. Well make sure you bring some extra tissues for your sneakers.., because you have some BIG shoes to fill as a replacement for Witkus.
Steve was known for his quarterbacking the plays out of his own defensive zone, his deceptive speed.., and that fake stick move that he used thousands of times.
Former teammate Lloyd Bentsen's once said... "I played with Steve Witkus. I knew Steve Witkus. Steve Witkus was a friend of mine. Cappy, you're no Steve Witkus."
Do you self a favor… Make sure you get familiar with the new change in the rules before you go "barking" at the refs… which is actually a new rule about barking at the refs.
Rule 67 (Suretting)
A Delay of Game penalty shall be called on any player who (on his own) shoots the ball FROM ANYWHERE IN THEIR OWN DEFENSIVE ZONE INTO THE PERIMETER NETTING ANYWHEREsurrounding the rink, causing a stoppage in play.
No warning shall be given to the offending player and that player shall be given a 1-minute minor penalty for Delay of Game.
The only exception to this rule for a non-goalie player that WILL NOTresult in a Delay of Game penalty is if;
Any player shoots the ball directly into the penalty box area or onto the player bench area.
The ball is deflected into the netting.
The ball banks up off the surrounding plywood or plexiglass and goes into the perimeter netting.
The ball is shot from a faceoff into the perimeter netting.
For these infractions, a face off will take place at the nearest faceoff.
Rule 8 (Nickering)
Banging the stick against the boards, plexiglass, plywood, net or throwing the stick (anywhere on the rink).
Any player who deliberately bangs his stick out of frustration or anger against the boards, plexiglass, plywood, net or throws the stick (anywhere on the rink) will be automatically given a 5 minute misconduct penaltyby the referees/game officials.
Teams will still play 5-on-5. All players are reminded to control their sticks at all time.
Rule 220.127.116.11.90.9 (No Barking)
Any player who IS NOTa designated team Captain or Assitant captain ARE NOTallowed to question the referees (or have a discussion) on any calls (or non-calls) or penalties (or non-penalties) made or not made.
If said players try to engage in a discussion with the referees/game officials, they can be subject to the referee's discretion and be given a 1-minute unsportsmanlike conduct penalty of 5-minute misconduct penalty.
Only designated team Captains or Assistant captains can question the referees/game officials calls or non-calls.
Over-30 Trivia… With the new “Suretting” and “Nickering” rules in place.., Who is Rule 18.104.22.168.90.9 (No Barking) referring to? We’ll give you a hint… the Rule # is not an IP address.
Achtung!! Devesting of the rank
Over the summer the “3-Board Members” (+2 wanna be members) had a 4-1 vote to strip Scotty Young of his rank.
The super-secret meeting was secretly filmed for evidence and somehow was "leaked" out by those leftist democrats at the New York Port.
Every mid-summer (late in July), the league director can count on either a seasoned veteran or a semi-rookie prying around for information on who's team am I on... Or who's on what teams.
Billy's emails are filled with what we refer to as "Spaulding Emails"
“I want Matty... No, I want Miville... I don't want Jim... I want Jeff in net...”
And as protocol has dictated for the last 20+ years tell them what they get Judge Smells when they ask for player and team information before the Captains and Webmaster are officially notified
"You'll get nothing and like it..."
The Jacket Quest
With Ed Nigro and Tony Bono winning last season with Yellow Submarine... Ed now jumps into sole possession of the All-Time Championship Leader with (14)... While Tony claims 2nd place with (12) and the aging Pat Pirone was once in a tie for the lead with (11) but has now dropped to 3rd place behind his former top seed nemesis Ed.
If you haven't won a jacket yet... and still want one of the vinyl jackets made from recycled Poland Spring bottles... You better win one soon before they become a collector’s item.
Rumor has it that there is still an internal grass roots movement to replace the outdated 80's style jacket with a more contemporary and grown up "Business-Casual" Championship Fleece.
SWM 54 Looking for one night stand
Looking for someone who loves the game of dek hockey, enjoys massages with 100-grit sandpaper and deep oil rubs with stain and varnish.
Must be Drug and Disease Free with minimal splinters and have no previous termite relationships.
Someone who can look past my hockey skills and my Emimen doo-rag and love me for the 1st year rookie champion that I am.
Ideal candidate must be willing to engrave my name on them and enjoy cuddling and spooning for the short time we are together.
Hope you use protection Bob Snyder... you don't know where that trophy has been
Brother's Deli - The Beach Tanning Salon Romano Construction - TOVI Hockey