Over 30 Hockey League

Zero Tolerance Policy Revision 2.0

So the players are expected to “play by” and “abide by” the leagues “Zero Tolerance” policy.  While most of the players have been keeping their emotions in check, we’ve had a few violators (no names, but you who know who you are… and we do too).  However, we are not calling the players out; we are calling out the referees.

Zero Tolerance Policy Revision 2.0 calls for the Referee’s to stop using the “I didn’t see it” defense… or “that’s his end and his call.”

Last week we witnessed Tony Mastrocola fling his stick across the entire width of the dek in frustration.  We haven’t confirmed Tony’s frustration but can speculate that it was either Matty Iannello taking him into the boards and not getting called for a penalty (or) the fact that his brother Johnny is out scoring him 5-1 in the Pink Stick Bag Challenge.

Regardless of the reason and per the Zero Tolerance Policy;

Throwing or slamming of sticks will result in;

Minimum of Unsportsmanlike Conduct:  Results in 1-minute penalty, and opposing power play.

Possible Misconduct: Results in 5-minute penalty, no opposing power play and cannot come out until after the full five minutes and a stoppage of play.

Game Misconduct: Results in an ejection from the game (along with possible suspension.

Once again… and heed this warning;

ANY player that tosses a stick in frustration while either entering the penalty box, or the team bench after a shift will be called for Unsportsmanlike Conduct.

ANY player slamming the boards with their stick in frustration will be called for Unsportsmanlike Conduct.

ANY player who commits these types of stick infractions and is deemed “excessive” by the referee’s discretion will face potential game ejection and possible suspension.

With that said; Keep you emotions and sticks in check… as we have more and more kids along with family members watching our games.

You have been warned.

Another Prediction Comes True

Let us refer back to PUTA Forum Article 292 (September 26, 2015) – “I wouldn’t be surprised if opposing goalies don’t start calling in sick vs. Shawn.  That way their GAA is not in jeopardy of increasing since those goals wouldn’t count against them, or for the “fill-in” goalie.”

Flash Forward: November 14^th 2016 to a Voicemail received by the League Director.

Though we are not at liberty to share the actual voicemail… We’ll let Ball Buster do his best impression… See if you can guess who called in sick?

Roaches!!!

Last Saturday Hockeytown was overrun by Roaches… and not the dreaded Cockroaches kind.  These Roaches came in peace.  Sean Roach was called in to fill in for an “ailing” Billy Gardyski Sr.

Sean aka Papa “Cut my life into pieces” Roach brought the whole family to watch his stellar debut “fill-in” performance in net as he blanked Labatt Blues.

Sean vs Shawn (or Shaun)

How do you shutdown Shawn Miville (0-Goals, 0-Assists) and keep the current number one team in Labatt Blues from even scoring?  Why you call Sean “Raid doesn’t work on me” Roach as he was lights out last week during his inauguration “fill-in” performance in net for Island of Misfit Toys.

Sean successfully shut Shawn down… doing what no regular league goalie could accomplish and that is keeping the “League’s Leading Scorer” (and his entire 1^st place team) off the scoring sheet.

Congrats Sean Roach… Just note; (if) you were playing for the league full time you would be taking a photo next week and received the Dunkin Donuts Player of the Week Award, but since our policy prohibits “fill-ins” from winning an award… No Free Coffee for you.

Girl vs Girl

Former USA Teammates Colleen O’Connell and Sandra Glista faced off against each other in what we’ve dubbed the “Gardyski-Less Bowl”.

With Sean Roach getting the call for Billy Gardynski Sr, and Sandra Glista getting the call for Billy Gardynski Jr… The battle of the fill-in goalies was actually enjoyable to watch as both goalies played their hearts out to post a win for their respective teams.

Although Sandra took the loss… she was equally as stellar in net as her counterpart at the other end.  On paper Sandra gave up (2) goals, but the first was defensive lapse while on a power play.  Island of Misfit Toys’ Mike O’Neil broke up a Labatt Blues power play and then broke passed the defense to score the first goal of the game (shorthanded).

The second goal Sandra gave up was actually an impressive save as Sergio Costa tried to stuff one in on the short side and Sandra stoned him with the shaft of her stick… the rebound came right back to Sergio who on his second attempt hit the post… the second and final rebound came out to the captain Matty Iannello who was tired of watching Sergio miss twice and “The Great One” shows why he is the “All-time Points Leader”.., as greatness doesn’t miss.

Meanwhile… Colleen O’Connell had 2-shots against her former teammate and Sandra stopped all both of Colleen’s shots.

Welcome back Joe (Officially)

Welcome back Joe Shannon… you are officially no longer a hockey whore for hire; you are now a member of Broken Promises.  This means we can officially count your 2015 points towards your “All-time” stats… and you can help keep Shawn Miville from breaking your record of 35-Goals (should it come down to the last week of the season)

It only makes sense that you replace Scott Young… as Scotty’s replacement has to have similar qualities.  You’re both past your prime, you’re both under doctor’s care, and you’re both are living off your previous accomplishments.

Just remember you did not get Scotty’s “C” as the acting Captain duties have been handed over to John Kelleher who is 1-2 since taking over the team.

Coup d'état

Also known as a “Coup Attempt”… Nick Romano is seeking power within the ranks of Broken Promises.  Nick who has been promoted from 2^nd line Center to “Assist Captain” is seeking to overthrow the John Kelleher regime.

We reached out to Captain John… and he assures us that Nick’s insubordination will result in Nicky not starting the next game and could face a possible silent (Cam Neely-esk) type of benching should his antics continue.

If it’s not broke… don’t try fixing it

Consigliere was the hottest team in the league… beating both Island of Misfit Toys and HABitual Complainers (back-to-back)… that is until an opportunist took it upon himself to “fill in” and quickly extinguish their momentum, thus killing their winning streak.

Who is this opportunist… why it’s none other than the League Director himself as Bill Abcunas took the opportunity to test out Consigliere to see if he liked the team, should they need a defensive replacement for the playoffs (and should they make the playoffs).

Billy has a history of joining a team mid-to-late season and either turning a team around into a playoff contender… or driving them into the ground.  Based on last week’s performance let’s hope John LaSalle Jr gets back quickly.

A new challenger

Once the Mastrocola’s are done finishing and “FAILING” their Pink Stick Bag Challenge, we have already approached and confirmed our next challenger.

The next challenger is a Dek Hockey living legend… a Hall of Fame inductee, and once considered changing his middle name to “Mylec”.

Dan “Mylec” Broderick is our next 2016 Spring Pink Stick Bag Challenger… and this one should be easy to achieve and in fact we are giving Dan a Senior Citizen Discount.

Dan’s initial challenge was going to be 5-assists and 1-goal… After some negotiations with the Webmaster, the Assistant League Director and Dan’s agent we modified the challenge slightly to accommodate Dan’s AARP status and his most recent Over-30 stats, we are giving Dan (2) passable options.

1)    5-assists and 1-goal (which the fans would like to see achieved)

Or…

2)    6-assists is also acceptable

Pass the challenge and win a $40 Kelly’s Gift Card (Courtesy of the Webmaster, the Assistant League Director) that you can use towards a Clam Plate… along with a “PASSED” patch for your jersey, like Scott Young and Tony Bono.

Fail and like many who have failed before… Carry the Pink Stick Bag for an entire season and get a “FAILED” patch for your jersey, like Jim Barber, Matty Iannello and Tony Medeiros and soon to be Mastrocola Brothers.