We’re back Bitches
Labor Day over (check)… Summer over (check)… Every team has officially played one game (check) and the Webmaster is back from his Disney vacation (check)… Looks like we’re back bitches!
For you rookie players… this is where we call you out and highlight (and more importantly) the lowlights of the previous weeks games.
Welcome to the P.U.T.A Forum and Trash Talk.
Welcome and Welcome Back
Welcome (2) new Rookies to the Over-30 League and welcome back to (2) previous players
Welcome Mark Richardson… by all accounts and the taunting we’ve heard, your goal is take away the scoring title from the current back-to-back Scoring Leader Shawn Miville. I’m sure everyone on Shark Attack is pulling for you.
Welcome Jake Deehan… Jake is one of the (2) newest Over-30 targets in net this season. As far as we are concerned you got away easy this season by having Shawn Miville on your team rather than him lighting you up. However; you might not want to blink when Joe Shannon is shooting on you, and if you see Matty Iannello breaking in alone on you.., be cautious and watch for “The Move”.
Welcome back Chris Chiavelli… as if we didn’t have enough Italians in the league already.
Welcome back John Desmond… or as we are going to refer to you this year as “Judas”… the one who betrayed the one that brought you into the league, won several championships with you (two more after you) and made you the Over-30 player you are. Good luck with “The Great One” and “The Whiner”
Why the team name?
Each summer, the Over-30 Captain’s must look at their new roster and jersey color and come up with an appropriate team name. Some Captain’s take their time and put some creative thought behind it.., some consult their Assistant Captain’s and some just aren’t creative or understand the concept of properly naming a team.
Here are this year team names and some reasoning behind them;
Shark Attack (Teal) – Captain Jim Barber: After looking at the roster and potential for disaster to occur early, names that were considered were “Shark Bait” and “Sharknado” thus pairing up the name to the host team color to the San Jose Sharks. If McGruff the Crime Dog “Takes a bite out of crime" then Shark Attack plans to do the same with the Over-30 competition.
Pylons (Orange) – Captain John Kelleher: The reasoning was simple; (if) Colleen O’Connell and Assistant League Director Mike Naczas ever end up as a defensive pair for a shift, their jerseys will guide the opposing offense right into their goalie.
Yellow Submarine (Yellow) Captain Matty Iannello: Typically Matty is somewhat creative but often too wordy with his names… but we heard it through the grapevine that he let the youngster on the team Jason Carrien name the team this year. Apparently Jay was in the tub with his Yellow Rubber Ducky and a Submarine so he combined his two favorite bath toys and came up with “Yellow Submarine”.
Sour Grapes (Purple) – Captain Dan Broderick: This name can reflect a couple of options. 1) There are bunch of “Pisano’s” that lost in the finals last year and they are still “bitter” about that… or 2) Dan Broderick is still sour about losing the first season in the finals vs HABitual Complainers and then getting bounced in the 2nd season with a GWG by Steve Oppedisano who pulled a move on Billy Gardynski Jr… (and that still stings)… or 3) That’s Dan’s nickname for his testicles… aka his “Sour Grapes.”
11 Guys, 1 Ball (Gray) – Captains(s) Scott Young & Dominic DeFrancisco: This can go a bunch of different ways but first we need to address the math and their blatant lack of respect for thier goalie Scott Rosato who is not only a former back-to-back Champion, but also a former back-to-back Leading Goalie Award Winner… Apparently “11 Guys, 1 Ball & an Awesome Goalie” was too long for the schedule.
But as with other previous Scott Young team names that make zero sense (“White Lighting” and “Game Day” to name a few) and reflect zero creativity “11 Guys, 1 Ball and Part-time Captain” was also just to long for the schedule.
“Drive for Five” (Part Duex)
To quote a childhood song “Nelly in the Barn”… “Second verse same as the first… a little bit louder and (potentially) a little bit worse???”
Why would the person (or persons) drafting the teams put Tony Bono who has the potential to be the first ever “5-pete Champion” on the same team as Matty “The Great One” Iannello?
Correct me if I’m wrong, but last season Jamie Kehoe was seeking that same quest that Tony is currently seeking. Jamie was also placed on “The Great One’s” team and they barely made the playoffs the first half and bounced with a dismal 1-9-1-1 record for the second season. How did that work out for you Jamie???
If (if) Tony Bono does not win his 5th consecutive championship… We will have no choice other to give Matty a new nickname “Cinco De Stinko” as he would have (twice) led a team that killed two of the greatest winning streaks in the leagues 25-year history.
Craigslist Ad
Wanted: Long Selfie Stick… Willing to barter for an extra-long selfie stick that would allow me to take a selfie (of myself) posing with my monitor screen that clearly shows that I am the Over-30 League Leader in points.
Selfie stick has to be long enough to fit my head, ego, a 12-pack and the monitor screen all in the shot. Sorry No cash, but willing to add additional “Phantom Points” to your All-Time Career Stats in exchange.
Email me at: Gary_Goodwill@Stonehands.com
Listen up
We would like to send out a “Public Service Announcement” to the following;
To: Nick Romano (from) John Kelleher
To: Scott Young (from) Dominic DeFrancisco
To: Gary Goodwin (from) Dan Broderick
To: Ray Nickerson (from) Matty Iannello
To: John Colucciello and Joe Shannon (from) Jim Barber
To those mentioned… remember this;