Official Newsletter of the Old-Time Hockey Over-30 League
24 Years and counting
Article 295 October 17, 2015
Game results and Player(s) of the Week
Week of October 10 (Game 1) – In a game that was played much more closer than the score indicated, Labatt Blues utilized a patient ball control game along with some timely goal scoring to wear down Island of Misfit Toys and come away with a 4 – 2 victory. This certainly made up for debacle of their first encounter back on opening day whereby Labatt Blues and Shawn Miville took no prisoners in their 7 – 2 rout.
For island of Misfit Toys, they needed a good start and got just that as fill-in Joe Shannon relived his previous glory days in taking a pass from his idol Matty Iannello, giving his team the early lead in the first period. However, the play of Labatt Blues turned this game around and eventually took control of it, led by who else but Shawn Miville scoring the first of his two goals, set up by Anthony Lauletta and Gary Goodwin halfway through the period. That was followed by Anthony scoring less than two minutes later set up down the wing by Shawn.
In the second period, Shawn scored a big insurance goal on the wing as he was set up by Gary, giving his team a two-goal lead late in the period.
Any thoughts of a comeback by Island of Misfit Toys were crushed early in the third period as Tony aka Munchkin Mastrocola was given a gift wrapped pass from Shawn for a wide open net, resulting in Tony finally scoring his first goal of the year. There was little celebration by Tony on the rink; however, the real celebration was seen on the sidelines towards Jim Barber for losing his bet on whether he or Tony would score their first goal of the season. The high fives were flying all around Jimbo and his creditors are still awaiting payment for monies owed. With the outcome already decided, Jim Clarke scored his first goal of the season to account for the final score.
Week of October 10 (Game 2) – Two teams heading in opposite directions faced off against each other with Broken Promises having won three out of their first four games played, while Consigliere was stuck in a four game losing streak. Things did not get any better for Consigliere as Broken Promises shut them out by the score of 5 – 0.
Late in the first period, in a span of under two minutes, Broken Promises scored two goals as first Nick Romano scored unassisted on a wicked slap shot, which was followed up by John Mastrocola scoring off a set up by Luigi Derenzes and Alex Leone.
In the second period, Broken Promises broke this game wide open with two more goals. Six minutes into the period, John Kelleher was set up out front by Luigi and three minutes later, Nick scored his second unassisted goal of the game.
With the game already decided in the third period, Mauro Colucciello was set up down the wing by Mike Delorey to finish off the scoring in this game. With the victory, Broken Promises moved back into first place overall. Surprisingly, they have accomplished this without their captain who is currently out on IR due to medical issues. Fill in captain John Kelleher has stepped up and done a remarkable job during this time.
For Consigliere, it’s time for each player on this team to look in the mirror to determine what they will do the rest of the season. Do they pack it in and quit trying, or go back to basics and grind out a much needed win and build back their confidence? There is too much talent on that team for them to have lost five straight games.
Trash Can Talk
Thanks Tosh.O Disclaimer
The BIG One Night Only Event…
A Led Zeppelin concert at the Boston Garden?
All FOUR original Van Halen members for one night only?
Billy and Kellie’s Wedding Night Consummation?
All great guesses… but the special “BIG One Night Only Event”… was the reuniting of the original BIG three: Matty Iannello, Joe Shannon and Ray Nickerson together again (and) they picked up right where they left off… Losing!
With “The Great One” treading water on the leader board in 4th and Ray floating dead at the 50/50 line in the standings… together with Joe’s new hip and rehabbed knee they only managed to combined for (1) goal in their 4-2 loss.
The magic is seemingly gone…. Say Goodnight Gracie!
The future Team USA skinny phenom Jon Picard pulled a “No Show” on Saturday… so we had to witness this spectacle on the dek for the 1st period
Didn't even bother to wear the stripes
How do you save money without switching to Geico… Ref yourself and save a bundle.
Would the real Slim Shady (or the real #5) please stand up? No not everyone at once... we said the “Real #5.”
We’ve had a team called Ray’s Whiners appropriately named after our infamous point’s whiner Ray Nickerson. Imagine if we had these three on the same team… we could call it “Ray’s Idols” after Ray Dow and his two #5 idols.
Hint: The "Real #5" is wearing the "C"
Breaking 65 (20-years Later)?
It was 20-years ago during the Spring of 1995 when a younger and healthier Joe Shannon put up 35-Goals and 30-Assists for the 4th place Ray's Whiners. Back in the day you played 14-Games (uphill, both ways).
That 65-Points Record will “never” be touched according to self-promoting legend Matty “Matty-I” Iannello.
Back in 95’ Joe had an impressive 4.64 points per game average.
After Shawn Miville’s first game of the season when he opened with 5-goals… there where cries of “65” looming amongst the bookies and odds makers.
While Shawn put up another impressive 4-point game against Billy Gardynski Sr… he now has an impressive 16-points for 5-games, for a 3.2 points per game average, but that pace is just not going to get it done for returning phenom.
Footnote: More than half of Shawn’s goals and assists have come from playing against Billy Gardynski Sr (7-goals and 2-assists) to be exact.
New Whore in town
There’s a new hockey whore is town and his name is Joe Shannon. “Hey Baby you looking for a defenseman?... I can go both ways (Forward and Defense) for an extra $20.”
Nick Romano and Jim Barber used to be the Over-30 common streetwalkers looking for a game to play (other than their own).
Now Joe has assumed that role as he has played and slept with almost every team in town. Our sources are waiting to confirm if Joe has actually played with all (5) teams or not.
Our advice, if Joe shows up wearing your team’s jersey… Don’t get excited, he’s not on your team permanently and I personally wouldn’t let him drink from the team water bottles, because his mouth has been on every other teams water bottles too.
If a tree falls in the woods?
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
With that said… if an undrafted (non-permanent) fill in and former Over-30 player scores a goal and/or registers an assist… does it go towards his “All Time Career Stats?”
Or does he not exist… like Joe Shannon and Steve Witkus?
The Kelleher Experiment
Last Thursday John Kelleher convinced Nick Romano’s Bricklayers to let him fill in for the ailing Scott Rosato. Everyone was under the impression that John played net before and that he too was hurting and didn’t want to run that night.
After the first shot (from half dek) resulting in a goal against Kelleher (while John was kneeling in the crease for whatever reason) it was quickly apparent that any goaltending experience he had… was back in the late 70’s during a parking lot game somewhere in Billerica.
Thankfully the Bricklayers were playing a team called Dudes n Boobs and went on to score 10-goals in front of Johnny… because he let in (5) and I believe one goal came from one of the Boobs.
So the lesson is…If you’re short a goalie and Johnny tells you he can play net. You must score a minimum of 6 to 10 goals to feel comfortable and the opponent must have at least (3) girls (or 6 boobs) playing for them. Then you will have a shot at a win.
Let’s try this again
We rarely like to rehash P.U.T.A. Forum material… but I want to try an experiment
We are going to reuse a previous inspirational piece from (Article 291) and just change the appropriate names.
So here goes;
Hey Alby… Wake up!! This is not a bad dream and no one is going to come give you a hug and a starburst to make you feel better. You’re going to have to dig down and snap out of this funk you got yourself into.
I know you must be a little nervous with Steve Oppedisanoin front of you… but he’s a recent champion (like you were once) and a “Leading Retirement Nominee”, so you can’t “Blame it on Steve”
What I can do for you is take you down memory lane and try to re-inspire you.
Player of the Week (Snubbed again)
Looks like Jeff Deharo is going to have to repeat history for a 3rd time if he ever wants to win a Dunkin Donuts “Player of the week” Award. Jeff posted another (unofficial) shutout while filling in for the ailing Scott Rosato and Broken Promises.
Although his performance was worthy enough for the award… (but) because he was filling and for another team… his stats don’t count. Kind of like Joe Shannon and Steve Witkus’ points (as previously mentioned).
So for Jeff the shutout is a personal internal victory that was also appreciated by the players of Broken Promises… despite John Colucciello efforts to ruin it for Jeff. From this reporters view, Cooch was doing far too much fiddling and diddling in his own zone and behind the net, nearly costing Jeff’s personal victory.
Another Tony (Another $20) – Maybe??
First Jim Barber lost $20 Betting against Tony Bono. Now he is about to lose another $20 thanks to another Tony.
The bet was who will score first Tony Mastrocola or Jim Barber.
Technically Tony scored first because Jim had a BYE week and wasn’t provided an equal opportunity to score before Tony’s first goal of the season officially recoded at Game #5, 3rd Period, at the 7:49 mark.
Legally through Jim’s Lawyer, and under the advisement of Jim Sokolove the following statement was drafted for should legal proceedings have to occur.
We have advised our client James Barber to not pay off the wager until said equal amount of time is given to our client.
Mr Tony Mastrocola had both an unfair and competitive advantage by playing an extra 22-minutes and 11-seconds (and) furthermore he did it against a struggling 4th place goalie.
Until said allowance of fair and equal time is complete… we have advised James of his legal rights and obligations and advised him to decline all future comments and statements.
Those wishing to address Jim regarding this matter should call Sokolove and Associates at 1-800-DONTPAY.
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