Breaking 65 (20-years Later)?
It was 20-years ago during the Spring of 1995 when a younger and healthier Joe Shannon put up 35-Goals and 30-Assists for the 4th place Ray's Whiners. Back in the day you played 14-Games (uphill, both ways).
That 65-Points Record will “never” be touched according to self-promoting legend Matty “Matty-I” Iannello.
Back in 95’ Joe had an impressive 4.64 points per game average.
After Shawn Miville’s first game of the season when he opened with 5-goals… there where cries of “65” looming amongst the bookies and odds makers.
While Shawn put up another impressive 4-point game against Billy Gardynski Sr… he now has an impressive 16-points for 5-games, for a 3.2 points per game average, but that pace is just not going to get it done for returning phenom.
Footnote: More than half of Shawn’s goals and assists have come from playing against Billy Gardynski Sr (7-goals and 2-assists) to be exact.
New Whore in town
There’s a new hockey whore is town and his name is Joe Shannon. “Hey Baby you looking for a defenseman?... I can go both ways (Forward and Defense) for an extra $20.”
Nick Romano and Jim Barber used to be the Over-30 common streetwalkers looking for a game to play (other than their own).
Now Joe has assumed that role as he has played and slept with almost every team in town. Our sources are waiting to confirm if Joe has actually played with all (5) teams or not.
Our advice, if Joe shows up wearing your team’s jersey… Don’t get excited, he’s not on your team permanently and I personally wouldn’t let him drink from the team water bottles, because his mouth has been on every other teams water bottles too.
If a tree falls in the woods?
If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?
With that said… if an undrafted (non-permanent) fill in and former Over-30 player scores a goal and/or registers an assist… does it go towards his “All Time Career Stats?”
Or does he not exist… like Joe Shannon and Steve Witkus?
The Kelleher Experiment
Last Thursday John Kelleher convinced Nick Romano’s Bricklayers to let him fill in for the ailing Scott Rosato. Everyone was under the impression that John played net before and that he too was hurting and didn’t want to run that night.
After the first shot (from half dek) resulting in a goal against Kelleher (while John was kneeling in the crease for whatever reason) it was quickly apparent that any goaltending experience he had… was back in the late 70’s during a parking lot game somewhere in Billerica.
Thankfully the Bricklayers were playing a team called Dudes n Boobs and went on to score 10-goals in front of Johnny… because he let in (5) and I believe one goal came from one of the Boobs.
So the lesson is… If you’re short a goalie and Johnny tells you he can play net. You must score a minimum of 6 to 10 goals to feel comfortable and the opponent must have at least (3) girls (or 6 boobs) playing for them. Then you will have a shot at a win.
Let’s try this again
We rarely like to rehash P.U.T.A. Forum material… but I want to try an experiment
We are going to reuse a previous inspirational piece from (Article 291) and just change the appropriate names.
So here goes;
Hey Alby… Wake up!! This is not a bad dream and no one is going to come give you a hug and a starburst to make you feel better. You’re going to have to dig down and snap out of this funk you got yourself into.
I know you must be a little nervous with Steve Oppedisano in front of you… but he’s a recent champion (like you were once) and a “Leading Retirement Nominee”, so you can’t “Blame it on Steve”
What I can do for you is take you down memory lane and try to re-inspire you.
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