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Article 406 - September 21, 2019

Game results and Player(s) of the Week


Week of September 14 (Game 1) – In a game between two undefeated teams, plenty of offense was generated by both teams.  For the second game in a row, Snow White jumped out to an early two goal lead then scored late in the third period to defeat Shockwave by a 4 – 3 score.

In the first period, Snow White did what they have done so far this season and scored early and often.  Two minutes into the game, Luigi Derenzes had the ball on his stick with plenty of time and shot from inside his side of the center line as his shot somehow beat the goalie five hole for his first goal of the season.  A minute later saw Ray Nickerson be in the right place at the right time, to jump on the carom off the end boards by Nick Romano, to find a seam under the goalie’s arm from the right faceoff circle.  Needing a momentum shift, Shockwave got just that as Dominic Defrancisco was set up by rookie Mike Roberto with thirty seconds to play, to get his team back into this game.

After a scoreless up and down second period, Snow White extended their lead back to two goals as Nick was set up two minutes into the third period by Chris Ducharme and John Kelleher.  Three minutes later, Tony Medeiros got his team back to within a goal as he was set up by Dominic and Jim Clarke giving his Shockwave team the momentum.  However, John put an end to that momentum shift two minutes later as he was set up by Matt Farrell and Shawn Mulcahy.  With the goalie pulled for an extra attacker, Dominic scored his second goal of the game with thirty-seven seconds to play.  But the hope was quickly extinguished as Snow White played smart team defense to run out the clock for the win.  What stood out for Snow White in this game was not their balanced scoring attack but the fact that even though missing their top defenseman, Gary Goodwin stepped in showing off his versatility to play defense and together with his other two defense partners, helped kept the high scoring offense of Shockwave in check for the most part.

Week of September 14 (Game 2) – In the second game, we witnessed the tale of two teams that featured both a positive and a big negative impact.  Drama Queens completely routed and blew out Jake-O-Lanterns by a 8 – 2 runaway.  The positive and scary development for Drama Queens was they were missing their two centers and three of their defense and STILL managed to put up an 8-spot on their opponent.  Imagine if they had their entire team present, this game could have easily been into double digits on goals scored.  The negative for Jake-O-Lanterns were three red flags (a lack of consistent goal tending, the defense getting caught standing around watching the play, and the lack of hustle and breakdown into too much individual play by the forwards).

In the first period, it was all Drama Queens as Shawn Miville returned to his “beast mode” form to open up the scoring four minutes in set up by Tim Hickey and Joe Carlton.  Three minutes later saw Joe add to the lead scoring an unassisted goal.

In the second period it started off more of the same for Drama Queens as Joe scored again set up by Tony Bono and Shawn less than a minute into the period.  Three minutes later, Tim was set up out front by Shawn.  Down by four goals, Jake-O-Lanterns got some momentum a minute later as Sergio Costa was on the doorstep to convert a rebound top shelf from the passing of Nick Doherty and Cappy.  Less than thirty seconds later, George Medeiros was set up by Sergio and Nick to get their team back into this game. 

The start of the third period crushed any hopes of the Jake-O-Lanterns team as thirty seconds in from the right wing boards top of the circle, Joe’s shot somehow found the back of the net off the passing of Shawn and Tim (it had no business going in!).  Twenty seconds after that Shawn was set up by Joe to end this game.  Three minutes later, Shawn scored again set up by Joe.  The goal onslaught ended with Shawn being set up by Jamie Kehoe with less than three minutes to play.  Only one game into the new season, Jake-O-Lanterns has a huge “character” game next week to change the opinion of this reporter that as a team they simply gave up early in this game.

Stars of the Week

There’s a new segment for the Over-30 that will live right here between the Game Results and Trash Talk.

This year we are taking a page from the NHL and recognizing the Top 3-Stars of the week.

But, don’t too excited just yet.., the Over-30 Award Budget only allows to financially reward the “Top Star” with the true “Dunkin Donuts Player of the Week Award”.., while the 2nd and 3rd Stars are being recognized (in print only) for their standout performances.

The League will not be handing out mini-sticks for the players to give to some lucky fans over the glass either.., because Billy & Kellie tend to chase off any lucky fans with exclamations ”Get down below the glass!!”

With all that said.., here are your 3-Stars of the week;


1st Star

Shawn Miville


2nd Star

Joe Carlton


3rd Star

Dominic DeFrancisco


Trash Can Talk

Rule Change Rumor?

There is no truth to the rumor that any goal scored from your own defensive zone will now be worth 2-goals.

If so.., Snow White would have beat Shockwave 5-3 instead of 4-3 as the first goal of the game was from Luigi DeRenzes who was 8-feet behind the line (in his own defensive zone).

Dim lighting was not a factor either for Shockwave Goaltender Shawn Roach.., who openly admitted he just misplayed it as the ball tipped off the inside of his pad and through the five-hole.

In fact we were a little concerned with Shawn’s start as the defending championship goalie he let up 2-goals on 4-shots only 3-minutes into the game.

“A”nother “A”ssignment 

There’s “A”nother” changing of the guard in the “A”ssistant Captain roles.

Congratulations to George Medeiros on your recent promotion to Assist Captain for the Jake-O-Lanterns.

We asked George to comment on his new leadership role:


With George’s new role “running thangs” and the Assistant League Director Mike Naczas taking the 2nd “A” under Captain Matty Iannello’s leadership.., we now we have to reprint all the team stats and player card to reflect a name change for “Brin “Cppy” Cpodilupo” (because that’s how you spell his name with no “a”.., just like his jersey).

Trade In Value?

Ray “The Boss” Nickerson was all smiles last week during his 53rd-Season debut.

Ray has helped several Over-30 players get “Used” cars.., so Ray this season traded in his old 1969 slow and never back-checking center Matty Iannello with 122300 miles for a newer, faster, and energetic 1992 model with 4600 miles and still under full factory warranty in Matt Farrell.

“The Boss’ Office”

Matt Farrell Just has to learn one thing and one thing only when playing with Ray Nickerson.., and that is the location of “The Boss’” office.

Ray’s office is located at the top of the left wing face-off circle in the offensive zone.., and his door is “always open”.

Statically, probably 75% of Ray’s 433 goals were scored in and around “Ray’s Office”.., which is just down the hall from Wayne Gretzky’s office behind the net.

Desculpa

We saw Tony Medeiros after the game writing Paul Correia and IOU for “1-goal” as Paul’s shot from his own defensive zone found its way past Snow White Goaltender; Scotty Rosato.

“No Goal” was quickly whistled and no review from Toronto was needed as Tony was clearly (and slowly) walking back out of the offensive zone to get onside.., all Tony could say was “Desculpa.., Paul.., Deaculpa”

Matching Blues

Sergio Costa finally got a jersey color to match his stick, sneakers and shin pads.., after the 8-2 blowout last week.., the blue jersey also matched his team’s mood... Blue!

Weekly Queen

Shawn Miville is back at again this season with his weekly team spirit award.

For those who are new to the league and to recap; Shawn introduced a team spirit award where they pass around their own internal team award to their own player of the game.

It all started with Trojan Horse using a Gladiator Helmet.., followed by last year’s Rhino team and Giant Rhino Mask.

This year Shawn picked up a nice pink boa for the “Queen of the Week” and we need to catch up on this season’s winners so far;

Week #1 “Queen of the Week” and the inaugural winner Ray Dow started the season with 2-goals and despite the lopsided 5-2 loss.

Remember; it’s a team spirit award to recognize Ray’s effort (and jump) from Defense to Center. Besides if it’s a contest or an award.., league history dictates Ray will win it!

Week #2 “Queen of the Week” goes to Joe Carlton and his stellar return to the league.

Joe had to step away from the league for a few seasons to deal with his “Coke” addiction.., or as he calls it “His Job”.., Joe came out of the gate firing on Week #2 and scored himself a hattrick while tallying 3-helpers in the lopsided win over Jake-O-Lanterns.

First Runner Up

Though he wasn’t named “Queen of the Week”.., 1st Runner Up Shawn Miville’s efforts last week needs to be recognized as he had a monstrous game as well (4-goals, 3-assists) as he figured in every goal except for one in the 8-2 routing of Jake-O-Lanterns.

No if we could just convince Shawn about the dangers of vaping. Imagine the possibilities if he quit? Perhaps Joe Shannon’s 65-point season could be in jeopardy.

No More Jizz

Once again League officials had to void any name suggestion by Matty Iannello.., after seeing his new “Miami” inspired colors.., “The Great One” wanted to switch to “Miami Jizz” (which was again quickly vetoed).

“The Great One” did have a “Great” suggestion as he wants the league to divulge the team’s jerseys prior to submitting any team name. He shouldn’t have to rely on Fredo to show him a sneak peek.

There will be a Captain’s petition circulating to 2nd Matty’s motion for future seasons.

Comparable Substitute

Ironically if you look in the New Testament under Matthew (5:38-42).., it says; “An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth”

With that in mind; Matthew (9:14-2019).., “A player for a player and comparable for comparable”

Matty Iannello was left to pondering his season opening 8-2 loss to the Drama Queens.

Matty questioned how League Officials can use a substitute bye-week player like Dave Costa to replace an absent Bob Snyder, or IR players Steve Iacoviello and Mike Surette?

Matty’s point is if Bob Snyder is absent then use his Head-to-Head counterpart Ed Nigro.., not the 2019 Spring Season MVD and subsequent Playoff MVP! That’s like using Shawn Miville to fill in for Jim Barber.., you use Dave Costa to fill in for Jason Carrien (and vice-versa).

Shutdown Defense?

So much for Mike Naczas and his “Shutdown Defense” self-promoting Marketing Campaign.

Last week’s Naz’ season opener looked more like a New York Stock Exchange Ticker Tape tracking his +/- during his debut.

NAZ initial IPO Stock went off at “0” and quickly went; -1…-2…-3...-2...-1...-2…-3...-4

The only true winner was Dan Broderick who borrowed a boatload of NAZ stock at “0” and then shorted the stock at “-4”.., and Dan giggled all the way to the bank with his winnings.

For those who don’t know what “Short selling” is with stocks.., here’s a quick Google explanation;

To sell a stock short, you follow four steps:

  1. Borrow the stock you want to bet against (ex: NAZ)
  2. You immediately sell the shares you have borrowed
  3. You wait for the stock to fall and then buy the shares back at the new, lower price.
  4. You return the shares to the brokerage you borrowed them from and pocket the difference.

Whistle Blowers

We can’t blame Mike Naczas and his core defensive reports for the entire 8-2 loss.

Sorry Jake “From StateFarm” Deehan.., but you owe your team a comeback performance after last week’s “summer off” performance (and it showed).

Lots of soft goals.., but none softer than the one where you were looking down adjusting your net while the most deadliest shooter in the league blew one by you.

Remember: you were the one (who critics still question “How?”) shutout defending champions Black Hole 1-0 just a few months ago. Your team needs that performance week-in and week-out.., otherwise Matty might add an “N” to one of his previous team names and rename the team to “Maybe None”

Reports say that you thought the whistle from downstairs was our game.., let this be a lesson to ALL players for both games.., there are a lot of whistles being blown in the building. If you’re unsure keep playing.., except for you Pat Pirone (who still likes to dig even after the whistle).

Season Opener Massacre

If a picture’s worth a 1,000 words.., then what story is this photo telling;


The Jake-O-Lanterns followed in the footsteps of their fellow Miami colored Dolphins with a Season Opener Massacre.

The Dolphins lost their opener by 7-touchdowns.., the good news is the Jake-O-Lanterns only lost by 2-field goals.., which by Matty’s math(above) is a “comparable loss”... (Doh!)

In Season Adjustments

Matty Iannello is often praised by the ass-kissing League Director on how Matty makes “In Game Adjustments” while other Captains do not.

After “The Great One” was done getting his doors blown off.., we watched Matty make a new “In Season Adjustment”... for the entire upcoming 2019 Winter Season;