Over 30 Hockey League

Traffic Report

Tis the season…, No, not the Red Sox being mathematically eliminated (again) and, no not Christmas (just yet), but with the best fall holiday upon us in Halloween, and with the start of the new Hockey Leagues.  Traffic in and around the Northshore will get crazy for the Salem Haunted Happenings during the month of October…, and with hockey season in full swing, the Hockeytown parking lot will be jammed as well.

Make sure you leave yourself plenty of time to allow for traffic and finding a parking spot, as all the games will start on time (with or without you).

So, leave early… get there early… warm-up, stretch out, and/or buy some raffle tickets. 

But (definitely) leave yourself some extra time on Saturday’s.

Jokers Wild

Great news!!…, Newly appointed “Director of Fundraising and Special Events” Tony Medeiros impressed his new boss with a “double-sided sellout” for the first ever “Jokers Wild Game”.

Thank you to those players who bought a $10 playing card for a chance to win $200.

Next week (Week #5) between games, Tony will start flipping the cards for the “Away” side at 5:30… and the “Home” side at 6:30.  Remember, he flips the cards until he finds the lone joker card for each side…. If you signed that card… BOOM! You’re going home with $200 cash in your pocket.

Two More Inductees

Please join us this weekend at 5:30 (center rink) as we celebrate two more Over-30 Hall of Fame Inductees.  This weekend Denny Beaupre (7^th) and Sandro Grutti (8^th) will join Ed Nigro (1), Joe Shannon (2), Nelson Sousa (3), Scotty Young (4), Franco Grutti (5), and Dave Curcio (6) as Hall of Fame Inductees.

Denny and Sandro are two former goaltenders that were part of an elite goalie class in the early 2000’s, that dated back to the Revere days when we had 8-teams on Sunday mornings.  Both are highly respected netminders and successful tournament winners.

Please join us for a ceremony and for many of the veterans of the league, it will be good to see these guys and reminisce about how they lit them up (back in the day).

Captain’s Log

"Captain's Log, Stardate 0921.24…, On our third week of game play, Captain’s Jamie Kehoe and Dave Costa decide to join their teams and start the 2024-Winter Season.”

It’s too bad neither of them brought a team win with them during their season debut.  In fact, they each received a complementary “2-goal loss” coupon along with their league issued Over-30 crying towel and a new league logo tee-shirt…, that was all stuffed neatly into their brand new Over-30 hockey bags.

Birdcage

It’s nice to see players read the forum…, after back-to-back weeks of taking a ball to the face, John Carey showed up Week #3 with a birdcage on his head.

John was definitely showing signs of struggling to look through jail cell bars and trying to find the ball at his feet.  Rumor has it he’s going to upgrade to a fishbowl ala Patrick Spencer (who’s documented game struggles also declined, when he strapped a milkcrate with a windshield on his head).  But we get it, better safe than sorry.

Hammertime Captain Jim Barber wished he had some face protection of his own after taking an errant Dave Wilson elbow to the beak…, and thanked John Carey for transmitting his string of bad luck onto him.

Honest Italian

Speaking of Jim Barber…, we owe him the “Honest Abe & George Washington - I cannot tell a lie with the honest player of the week award”.

Jim was credited for 2-goals and 1-assist…, but it was really 1-goal and 2-assists.  The goal he was credit with was scored by a replacement player (and everyone knows their stats don’t count).  Jim reached out to the League’s Statistician Department to fill out the proper paperwork and correct the clerical error.

Some other Italian players probably wouldn’t have turned themselves in and just took credit for the undocumented migrant goal…, but the Hammertime Captain has a wager going with the ALD Mike Naczas.

Jim’s goals vs Mike’s points for the season.  After Week #3, Jim 2-goals, Mike 0-points.

Chip & Go?

You just read about “Honest” Jim turning himself in for getting credited for a goal he didn’t score… but he also didn’t get credit for the ugly “nail in the coffin” goal that sealed his team’s fate and second loss of the season.

Jim’s defensive faux pas was supposed to be a “Chip & Go” out of his defensive zone and past arguably the slowest guy in the league “Hobbling” Nick Romano…, who for unknown reasons was left guarding the point. 

The pass back to the point to Nick was neither “chipped” and there was definitely “no go” from Jim…, as “Hobbling” Nick took the pass from down low and shot an absolute worm burner of a shot on net to make it 6-4, and that goal put a nail in the coffin for any Hammertime comeback.

The shot was so low that if goaltender Dale McIssac had been tying his shoe, he would have easily made the save.

Beatable

The 8-4 Hammertime loss comes with one shining highlight for the rest of the league.

Phoenix Rising goaltender AJ Larabee who is projected to be the top goalie for the next foreseeable future is “beatable”. 

AJ entered Week #3 with a 0.50 GAA after posting the first shutout of the season (Week #2) and only giving up 1-goal in his debut.  But the current goalie leader drove home with a 1.67 GAA after giving up 4-goals to Hammertime and left Sean “Duncan” Roach with visions of his photo being used in the top spot of the leaderboard (After Week #4).

New Move

We have “The Move” move, by Matty Iannello, who used to use it a lot on breakaways, but “The Great One” just doesn’t have many breakaways these days.  But, just in case he does, we won’t disclose the details of the actual “move”, just in case you goalies forgot about it (and honestly) Matty probably forgot how to perform it as well.

Then we have the “Punk Move”…, which we covered in last week’s forum edition.  Quick recap: The “Punk Move” is when you score an empty net goal when the game is already decided with just weening seconds left to play.

Now Mike O’Neill is credited with the newest move…, the “Douche Move”

With 0:51 left to play in the 3^rd and up 6-4, Mike scores a “Punk Move” goal to make it 7-4 (Ok, no big deal) he missed last week and couldn’t resist a freebie. 

But, just 18-seconds later at 0:31 and up 7-4…, Mike chased down a clearing attempt (which ended up almost being a shot on an empty net)…, from deep within their defensive zone. 

As the ball was heading towards the empty net, it banged a left and was heading towards the boards and being called an icing instead.

Mike chased down the icing, took the ball back over from the icing line (before icing could be whistled dead) and stuffed it into the empty net to make it 8-4 and thus marking the first official “Douche Move” of the season.

Mike’s Lawyer “Better Call Saul” said his client did it intentionally as retribution for something Donny Maccini did, as that hobbling ragdoll took a run at one of (Mike’s) teammates earlier.

You’re Fired!

Looks like Azores Express Captain Dave Costa is starting his own reality hockey apprentice show… as on his first week at the helm, he fired Jake Deehan and replaced him with fellow Portagee and Division 1 Champion Mike Viera from Azores Xpress.

After his 3-1 loss he is willing to give Mike another shot this week…, but rumor has it that Dave told Sandro to bring his goalie shit incase Mike gets lit up in the first period.

Dave has vowed to not be the first team to 0-4, as this week they battle the other 0-3 team (M*A*S*H) at 4:30… when someone will be crowned the 0-4 champ!

1:23

Welcome back and congratulations to Pat Pirone who’s starting his 60^th season in the Over-30 League.

But it didn’t take Pat long to remind us why we have the (No “C”) or (No “A”) Rule.

It only took Pat 1:23 seconds into his first game of the 2024 Winter Season to start complaining and whining to the officials about a call.

For the new guys in the league…, the (No “C”) or (No “A”) Rule is very simple.

Look down on the left breast of your jersey…, if you see the “Tito’s” logo (that’s your right breast) … look across from the Tito’s logo and if you don’t have the letter “C” or the letter “A”…, then you are not allowed to debate, argue, or question the officials about a bad call or penalty.  Otherwise, you run the risk of getting rung up by the official for “Delay of Game” or an “Unsportsmanlike” penalty.

Massachusetts State Police have “Click it or Ticket”…. The Over-30 League has “Zip it or Sit It”.

So, remember (No “C”) or (No “A”) … no arguing or debating with the officials.  Even if you’re going into your 60^th Season.

Go see your Captain and if he deems your argument is valid (he’ll go fight for you) between periods.

Azores Express vs Azores Xpress

As we told you last week… We congratulated the Over-30 players from Hockeytown D1 Champions Azores Xpress.

Now just less than a week later we have Azores Express going against Azores Xpress in a battle for the real “Portuguese Power”.

Azores Express featuring Dave Costa and fill-in goalie Mike Viera battled against former teammates Azores Xpress Dominic DeFrancisco and Tony Medeiros. 

Defense may win championships…, but offense wins games as Dom (1-goal, 1-assist) & Tony (1-goal & 2-assists) had the Portuguese firepower…, and once again Tony proved why he got a “Portuguese Power” tattoo on himself.   Don’t believe us, go ask Tony to see it.

IOU 1-goal

Sorry Rick Cassano…, the Over-30 League and their officials have to write you an “IOU” for 1-goal.  Both officials missed it, but we clearly saw your shot beat Mike Viera

You did get a $10 scratch ticket for your game efforts…, but all players would rather have the 2-goal game on their personal stats record.

Oh, and Ricky…, if I was you…, I would ask for a redo of your player photo.  Your #3 Star last week makes you look like you heard the words “Why don’t you have a seat over there” before being interviewed by Chris Hanson.