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Player Spotlights

Tony Medeiros

John Colucciello

Ray Dow

John Kelleher

Jim Barber

Tony Mastrocola

Dave Curcio

Scott Young

Mike Hollingsworth

Tono Bono

Nick Romano

Jim Clarke

Jeff Deharo

Thomas Bardascino

Mike Naczas (Naz)

Mike Luise

Doug Sedille

Dan Broderick

Pat Pirone

Steve Oppedisano

Matt Iannello

Bill Mack

Joe Shannon

Ed Dullea

Mark Stickney

The Curse's

Ed Nigro

Ray Nickerson

P.U.T.A Forum Newsletter

Article 326 November 12, 2016

Game results and Player(s) of the Week


Week of November 5 (Game 1) – Sour Grapes shocked the Over-30 world by handing Yellow Submarine their first loss, winning 2 – 1, and overheard on the rink were some comments similar to what we heard in the Rocky 5 movie “They're worried! You cut them! You hurt them! You see? You see? They are NOT a machine, they are human."  The win gives hope to all the other teams chasing Yellow Submarine.  They are perfect no longer.  Unconfirmed reports state that the Great One said right after being asked after the loss "WHAT'S THE TRUTH, DAMN IT? and the Great One replied "I'M AFRAID! ALL RIGHT?! YOU WANT TO HEAR ME SAY IT? You want to break me down? All right, I'm afraid. For the first time in my Dekhockey life, I'm afraid.”

As they had done so in their previous games, Yellow Submarine scored the game’s first goal only three minutes into the game as captain Matty Iannello scored, set up by Walter Maslak and Ray Nickerson (questions still have been left unanswered whether or not this was another phantom assist for Ray).  Three minutes later, Rick Cassano found himself open on the right wing after being set up by an alert pass by Dan Broderick and beating the goalie to tie this game up.

During a back and forth second period, each team had some scoring chances but came up empty.  We should mention at this point that Yellow Submarine’s regular goalie Tim Hickey did not suit up for this game.  Instead, Sandra Glista filled in and was doing a solid job.  However, with a minute left in the second period, Jason Glista, yes Sandra’s husband took a shot from the parking lot of Walmart across Route 1 that somehow eluded Sandra for Jason’s first goal never mind first point of the winter 2016 season.  Sandra can’t say she was screened; she can’t say it was a deflected shot; she can’t say she was distracted when she thought she saw former NHL and Bruins goalie Andy Moog standing on the sidelines watching her.  Nope, she simply just got beat.  We ask all our Forum readers for their opinion here “was this collusion by Sandra and Jason?”  We will let the readers decide.

In the third period, Sour Grapes played committed team defense to shut down the Yellow Submarine offensive attack, limiting their scoring chances.  Those that got through were handled by goalie Jeff Deharo.   

Week of November 5 (Game 2) – In a pivotal league game, the surging Pylons and the reeling Shark Attack teams squared off with the Pylons emerging with a gritty 3 – 2 victory.  This was the Shawn Miville show for the Pylons as he was constantly finding room to get open and unload his devastating shot, accounting for 10 shots on net, a third of the total shots taken by his team.  All the scoring for this game was done in the second period.

After a scoreless first period, four minutes into the second period, John Colucciello, after looking around and not seeing Papa anywhere on the rink, jumped up from the point joining the offensive attack finding himself left uncovered in the high slot to bury his shot for the game’s first goal by Shark Attack, set up by brother Mauro and Niko Vramis. Two minutes later, Pat Pirone’s hustle caused a defensive turnover that Pat quickly converted into a wrap-around goal for the Pylons tying the game up.  However, only thirty-eight seconds later, it was Niko answering right back, set up by Mike Luise and Mauro, to halt any momentum by the Pylons.  With just under two minutes to play in the period, Shawn was sent in on a two-on-one after some heads up passing from Nicky Romano and Jamie Kehoe.  Shawn froze the goalie by using his open wing as a decoy before deking the goalie for an easy tuck goal.  Not done yet, Shawn was smartly substituted off the bench by captain John Kelleher, playing a hunch, with a faceoff deep in the offensive zone with twenty seconds left.  The hunch paid off as Shawn scored an unassisted goal from the left wing on a bomb giving the Pylons a lead they would not relinquish.

The win by the Pylons was their second in a row, moving them into a tie for second place, while the free falling Shark Attack team continues to lose ground going 0-3-1 in their last four games, struggling to win games.

Trash Can Talk
Thanks Tosh.O Disclaimer

The Magic Number

First a 3-team tie with 6-points... and now a 3-team tie with 8-points.   With just 4-weeks left to play in this season, it’s only 2-points that separate 2nd Place and not making the playoffs.

The Magic Number to guarantee a playoff spot is 15-points.  Aside from Yellow Submarine who’s running away with the Presidents Cup... The league has been a balanced dismal year with many teams playing with multiple absentees.

According to the Greatest Over-30 Captain Jim Barber you just have to make the playoffs and then play the (2) best games of the season to be the 2016 Winter season champion... The previous 12-games are just practice games for the playoffs

Papa-less Loss

Wow… Yellow Submarine suffered the first loss of the season and part of that can be blamed on a “Papa-less” team 

Umberto "Papa Smurf" Biancardi has been Matty Iannello's new go to winger replacing both John Desmond and Ray Nickerson.  Matty's trust in Ray has diminished this season as we've seen "The Great One" look off Ray camping in his usual spot at the top of the face-off circle and opting to pass to “Papa” with his soft hands that unlike Scotty Young and Jim Barber… those hands can “Finish” and “Score”.

We asked Matty about his new trusted confidant on right wing and he said "Come on who else in this league is going to help Umberto have a career year in scoring?"

Though we haven't officially fact checked that statement... You can't argue that Matty can turn anyone into a goal scorer... anyone that isn't named Jim Barber that is.

Pasture-ized

It seems Joe Shannon is heading for the Dek Hockey Pasture where he can graze and reminisce about the glory days with the other retired donkeys.

Joe Shannon has called it a career (again?) so we'll wait to drop balloons from the rafters and celebrate the greatest Over-30 Goal Scorer of All-time... and before #44 joins the only number (Doug Sedille's) #16 alongside the retirement of numbers in the virtual rafters... We'll wait for Joe to file his AARP paperwork and have his official press conference…, until then we can't taunt him as a referee.

So since Shark Attack has placed Joe on waivers and picked up a more seasoned (and older) defenseman to guard the blue line.... Welcome back Paul "Don't call me Whitey" White to the Over-30 League.  

Paul's former reputation and style of play was a combination of former great Billy Mack’s solid defensive skills with a touch of Pat Pirone's hacks and penalty finesse… or as a Dek Hockey "Hall of Fame" Legend once referred to Paul as a “Thinking Man’s Defenseman”

Both players are reformed and recovering hackerholics as thankfully "Father Time" has caught up to them and they now focus more on playing and less on intimidation and maiming.

Fire in the hole

Mike Surette arguably has one of the best and hardest wrist shots in the league.   His wrist shot is faster than most Over-30 players slap shots like: Ed Nigro, Umberto Biacardi, Mike Naczas, Dan Broderick, Mark Stickney, Colleen O'Connell, Tony Bono, and even “The Great One” Matty Iannello.

The only problem the gentle giant has is the amount of time it takes the BIG man to get the shot off and on net.   We used a stop watch last week to time Mike's shot and it was the equivalent to this guy getting the shot off... 


Hey Mike can you yell "Fire in the hole" when you get your shot off too.


Marital Negotiations

Attention Walmart Shoppers we have a Blue Light "Goal Special" in aisle "51" and "Conspiracy Theories" are “Buy One, Get One Free” in aisle "1"... and "Long Shot Goals" are on display is the parking lot... Because that's where Jason Glista shot it from to score his first goal on the season against (wait for it)... his wife Sandra Glista. 

Coming into last week’s matchup Jason was pitching a perfect season with 0-goals and 0-assists.   We can only image what the begging and pleading was like in the Glista house.   "Please Sandra... Please let me score a goal against you this week, the DC United Team is watching my Over-30 stats for next year"

We hear that in return Jason has to sand and stain a banister railing per his wife’s Facebook post just 4-days after she faked a save on Jason’s shot;


Alessandra Glista - November 9 at 1:50pm · Boston · 

Time to focus on more house projects. Has anyone stripped a wood railing of its varnish?  

We (I mean Jason) wants to get it down to the original wood but it's detailed so sanding would take forever. 


Glista Dentistry

Hey Gary Goodwin… How did that goalie knob taste in your mouth last week?

In case you missed it… Gary and his usually aggressive self, tried to cut through the goalie crease and wound up with a mouth full of Sanda Glista's goalie stick.

That act alone should have won Sandra the “Dunkin Donuts Player of the Week Award”.

Shelved 

Looks like Yellow Submarine is going to have to carry-on for the rest of the season without their first line winger John "Judas" Desmond.

Rumor has it does is been shelved for the season with a “lower body” injury... There is zero evidence to support the theory that Dez' season was sabotaged with a voodoo doll and a pin by his former captain Jim Barber.

We want to wish "Judas" a speedy recovery and let this be a leson to you... don't betray the one that made you.