Over 30 Hockey League

1st Star

Jim Barber

2nd Star

Gary Goodwin

#12 Paul Strong

Typically the PUTA forum is reserved for trash talking and player shaming.., but our first headline for the PUTA Forum “Restart Edition” is dedicated to Shockwave’s #12 Paul Correia and his current medical battles.

For their first game of the restart season his teammatesj paid a little tribute to their fellow teammate with their “Paul Strong 12” tee shirts (Kudos to Tony Medeiros).

We all know Paul has been battling for a long time and we all look forward to seeing him around the rink (again).  So Paul.., keep up the good fight and know that there’s almost 60-players on Saturday night thinking about you and your long road to recovery.

Welcome “Covid Rich”

Welcome to the league Rich Pelletier or as we’ll call him “Covid Rich” since he was the first player to be added during the worst pandemic.

“Covid Rich” is making a huge impact for his new team Shockwave with 3-goals in his first 2-games (which included a 2-goal performance last week) to help his team stay undefeated during his debut.

Pre-game Screening

The new pre-game temperature screening is really a two-fold check point to screen for COVID and to assess your potential game performance.

Less than 97: Players screening in with a temperature less than 97 degrees should probably think about sitting most of the game because you are “ice cold” and will most likely wind being a detriment to your team and their pending loss.

In the 97’s: Players screening in the 97’s can expect on playing your “Normal” typical game (whatever that means to you) and expect your performance to reflect your normal nothing special status

98-99 Players screening in 98-99 should stretch extra before the game because you are in the “Hot Zone” and are probably going to have a tremendous game.., probably even multi-goal or multi-point game.

99.0 to 100.3: Players screening is at the 99.0 to 100.3 range.., You might be experiencing hot flashes and probably showing signs of male menopause. You probably shouldn’t play because you’ll end up bitching a lot about the referees and at fellow teammates

100.4 or greater If you’re that moron with a 100.4 or greater.., go home you should have never showed up to play in the first place. Go home and feel shame.

Electric Whistles

The Coronavirus has just about ruined all of 2020 and now with over regulations even a referee cannot blow a whistle without concerns of spreading a deadly virus.

So the league purchased new electronic whistles which are equally as ineffective as the previous ones but we think the officials are using them wrong.., here’s the proper way to use the new whistles;

Back to the 80’s

Looks like Jim Barber tried driving a DeLorean into a brick wall at 88 MPH.., as he’s trying to go back in time to find his mojo by growing his hair back.

After missing the first restart game for top secret business.., the Olive Pits Captain came back from his 6-month hiatus with a vengeance scoring a hattrick (including the GWG) and spent a minute in the box for a marginal tripping call on Snow White’s Prince Charming aka Shawn “Clumsy Dwarf” Mulcahy.

Samson derived his strength from his uncut hair.., could Jim’s game be equally affected?

GoldHands?

Is Gary Goodwin looking for a new nickname?  After his 2-goals last week including the GWG… are we ready to stop calling him “Stonehands” and now refer to him as “GoldHands”?

Goalie Rebuttal

Scotty Rosato felt like he had a bad day at the office last week… Admittedly he openly acknowledged that something was wrong when the 2019 Best Goalie Award Winner lets up 5-goals to Jim Barber & Gary Goodwin (and both with GWG’s)

Boba Naz

We’re not sure what disease Assist League Director Mike Naczas is trying to repel.., but did you see his pre-game “Boba Fett” like getup?

Looking like “Boba Naz” his face shield, goggles and probably ear plugs made him look like he was ready to take on COVID-19, TheKungFlu, SARS and any other virus that China wants to throw his way

After warmups “Boba Naz” ditched the helmet as the only thing left to repel was a much needed “team win”.

Magic Number

Every season right about now.., the “Magic Number” is released publicly and that number is... “12”

With 10-games played and only 2-games left the most Jake-O-Lanterns can post in the win column is 11-points.

However, they are by far from being mathematically eliminated.., but a priest has been called in to administer last rights.

They must win both of their last games and seek help from Olive Pits and Snow White in their battles with their fellow basement dwellers Drama Queens (who have a game at hand) for the last playoff spot.

If.., “IF” the Jake-O-Lanterns with both of their remaining games (which includes a match up against Drama Queens) and the Drama Queens loose either of their last two games of the season.., then The Jake-O-Lanterns will limp into the 4th seed playoff spot.., anything less and the Drama Queens will clinch the 4th seed.

“Chirping” Warning

Here’s this week’s PSA on behalf of the league officials.

Last week an unnamed Captain was told by some unnamed Referees to tell his unnamed player to stop the excessive “chirping” at the unnamed referees.., because it’s violating the league’s unwritten “Anti-Chirping” policy as it relates to the restart league in an email that stated “... minimize all unnecessary talking for the safety of others”

The unnamed player was facing a 1-minute penalty for Unsportsmanlike Conduct.

So like Massachusetts says “Click it or Ticket”.., the Over-30 has “Zip it or Sit it”.

Mask On

Reminder.., League officials are monitoring the face-off mask wearing situation.., and the green light has been given to the referees to throw players out of the draw (or ring them up) for a 1-minute minor.

Remember to… Mask up on the draws!!

Step-up Not Off

Olive Pits was down two defenseman leaving Dave Costa & Elder Lopez to step up (but not off) the dek as both played the entire 30-minutes of their 4-3 win to clinch their playoff berth.

The Portuguese Duo played outstanding defense and somehow late in the 3rd Assist Captain Dave Costa still found the energy to literally go from end-to-end as he started behind his own goal line.., stick-handled through (3) of Snow Whites Dwarfs and rang a potential winning goal off the crossbar.

STRATICOS, James M. – Of Somerville September 21, 2020. Beloved father of Paulina and James Straticos both of Peabody and their mother Erin Nigro. Loving son of James C. Straticos and the late Bonnie Straticos and his stepmother Denise Straticos. Dear brother of Jill Ferreira of Somerville. Brother-In-Law of Tony Ferreira of Salisbury. Uncle of Bonnie, Matthew and Jack Ferreira. Cherished grandson of the late Pauline and Christos Straticos, Rita and Arthur Mahoney.