Again our sincere apologies
Again our apologies… Last week’s Trash Can Talk was obviously written by a lame imposer. Here’s our professional and creative opinion of last weeks forum:
Grunts are people too (Verdict – Lame), Follow the yellow brick road (Verdict – Lame), Team captains……necessary or just figureheads? (Verdict – Lame), Team captains…….. necessary or just figureheads (Part 2) (Verdict Part 2 – Lamer that Part 1) and finally First Amendment Corner (Verdict – Fabricated and lame)
Freddy vs Goodfellas
In 2003 Hollywood gave us Freddy Krueger vs Jason Voorhees in “Freddy vs Jason”… and in 2015 Hollywood came calling again in “Freddy vs Goodfellas” with a short 30-minute film based on a substitute goalie who kills any “Dreams” of repeat championship team full of greasy wise guy wannabe goomba’s.
Donning a Freddy Krueger jersey, first time replacement goalie Kenny Lane was just 1-goal shy of perfect game in his Over-30 Debut. Kenny helped Legends Last Stand become the first team to clinch a playoff berth this season… and showed those Italians why they are better at making meatballs than “Shooting” hockey balls.
In the end Freddy vs Goodfellas was snubbed by the Academy Awards and Goodfellas will be snubbed by the playoffs if they don’t start putting some “W’s” in the Win Column.
Nightmare on Breakaway Street
Hey Rick Cassano… what the heck was that breakaway you had on Kenny Lane? Did his jersey scare you? Were you dreaming of a goal… and woke up to find out that it was only a “Nightmare”. Were just glad your invisible Captain was not there to witness it.
Hologram Young
We’ve seen Hologram Michael Jackson and Hologram Tupac… now do we add Hologram Young to the list of invisible performers. Was that the real Scott Young or a Hologram performance? Strolling in with 2-minutes left to play in the 2nd… part part-time Captain Scott Young decided to finally show up for a game and help his team to another loss. It seems winning a jacket last year was good enough for the casual Captain as he’s already looking forward towards his summer plans.
Sorry Goodfellas it might be a good time to fit Scotty with some cement shoes… oh wait he’s already playing in them??? Then how a long drive in the country with some piano wire…. You can sit in the front el Capitano.
Crazy Eight’s
Crazy Eight’s is not just a card game but a real dilemma for the three teams stuck on eight points and trying not to be the team that is home watching TV on April 18th.
Who Needs Superstars, That’s a Plus and Goodfellas are all in the same boat as the Boston Bruins… trying to get into that last playoff spot with on a few games left. The odds on favorite is the “Three-pete Couch Potato Champion” Dan Broderick and company.
Will Dan spend his 4th playoff season in a row sipping a glass of warm Geritol while eating some ribbon candy and complaining about Obamacare… or with the late season signing of Bill Abcunas and Jay Carrien help Dan relive his glory days and put another championship on Dan’s Hall Of Fame career resume.
Take a drink or Fill your glass?
Who Needs Superstars, That’s a Plus and Goodfellas… We just have one question;
Is your glass half empty… or half full?
Your playoff berth depends on your answer.
“AND 1”
According to Wikipedi: The AND 1sneaker company name is derived from a phrase used by basketball broadcasters: when a player is fouled while shooting, makes the shot and makes the awarded foul shot as well, they score the points for the made basket "and 1" for the made free throw.
For the players of Goodfellas and That’s a Plus the “AND 1” slogan has a different meaning. “AND 1” is the 1-minute Penalty given after a Gardynski (Sr or Jr) let’s up a goal and celebrates the opposing teams goal through an “Unsportsmanlike Penalty.”
Last week it was FOURget About-it forward Umberto “Papa Smurf” Biancardi scoring a Goal and getting the “AND1”… for Goodfellas and That’s a Plus it’s a bit of double jepordy, first the sorrow of the “TEAM” giving up a goal and then the aggravation of having to immediately play shorthanded for a “GOALIE” tantrum.
Craigslist Ad
Call me crazy but while I was looking for an offseason snow blower… I came across an ad for a part-time whistleblower.
Wanted: Week of 3-21-15
Time: 6:00 PM
Location: Saugus
Position: Fill-in Referee for an Over-30 Dek Hockey League.
Job Description:
- Having the ability to work with crying and whining grown men.
- Minimum wage pay
- No benefits, healthcare or 401K plan
- Must supply own whistle and striped uniform
- Knowing the rules (optional)
- Willing to only make calls in your end only and ignore what the other ref misses
- Understands the referee defense slogan: “That’s not my call” or “I didn’t see it”
Only one applicant applied and was immediately hired on the spot… so thanks Mike Collins for filling-in as an Over-30 Ref. Next time you fill in for Jon Picard please have a coffee in hand while you ref… it’s the best excuse as to why you missed a call… “I was sipping my Starbucks Venti Tea”
Déjà vu or Domja Vu?
There he was (again)… in street clothes watching his getting outplayed by FOURget About-it (again). That’s a Plus superstar Dominic Defrancisco sat idle (again) faking another injury (again) vs the BIG three (Barber-Stickney-Desmond) – (again).
During the teams last meeting Dominic was “nursing” a lower body injury… but with 3-minutes left in the 3rd tied 2-2, Dominic hobbled onto the Dek during a their last power play in an attempt to intimidate FOURget About-it who already successfully killed off 6.5 minutes shorthanded play… Dominic’s last minute heroic presence had zero effect.
Last week Dominic watched (again)… but this time he had to witness his team score the first two goals of the game and then let up three unanswered goals. Down 3-2 in the third with 1.29 to play, FOURget About-it centerman Nick Romano gets a Delay Of Game Penalty… Was Super-Dom going to remove his jacket (again) to reveal his jersey and jump on the Dek for a last ditch power play attempt (again)?
Nope they lost… and Dominic kept his hand in his pocket and refused to give a “thumbs up” to his team’s effort despite their loss.
Who’s up for a challenge?
With Tony Medeiros clearly not going to succeed in his current “Smilin Pete Lodi – Pink Stick Bag Challenge”… Tony he needs 6-goals in just two games. Impossible? No, it’s just two hat tricks away… Impossible without Dominic Yes!
So we are now looking towards the next potential candidate… and here are four possible players the league is looking to approach for the challenge next season.
Some of the candidates include:
- A Portuguese Potential
- A Pisano Probable
- A Tiny Dynamic Duo
- A Defender
So when you get approached by the League Director and asks “Are you up for a challenge”… will you be the first to say “No” or “Bring it on”
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