Over 30 Hockey League

Super Bowl Squares

Listen up!!  Super Bowl Squares are on sale: Buy (1) for $10 and get another (1) for $10… of buy (2) for $20 or (5) for $100.  No matter how you do the math it’s $10 a square and we need to sell a lot this week. 

We could easily fill these squares if we go outside of the league…, but we want to try and keep the winners to our league players.  So, if you’re planning on buying some “Non” Patriots Super Bowl Squares then please see Tony Medeiros this week…, We want to fill it up ASAP!!!

Live Drawings

Please join us over at the Timekeepers box between all three games this week to watch the live lottery via the “Wheel of Games” drawing.  There will be no cat picking the winners..., we’re going to use the latest in technology to award two lucky winners this week.

Before the 5:30 Game we will be drawing the winner of the “FREE” Registration for this 2024 Spring Season.  Last year’s live “Wheel of Games” drawing at Derby Lanes saw Gary Wurlitzer edge out Derek Donegan by one click to win the first ever “FREE” Season.

Before the 6:30 Game we will be drawing the winner for the “Lucky 13” Attendance Award…, which we will award to (1) lucky winner…, a weeks’ worth of Lottery Tickets ($79-value) along with any additional winnings (TBD?)

The wheel will look slightly different for the second drawing as there will only be (27) names of eligible players that made the minimum 13-games required to qualify for the drawing.

We’re back baby… and ready for some 2024 Over-30 storylines and ball busting.

Before we can dive into the 2024 Spring Season…, we first must take care of some unfinished business regarding the 2023 Winter Playoffs.

1-800-Choked 

So, let’s start with the odds-on favorite to win it all…, that “Stacked” team that basically walked through the season losing just (2) controversial games.  Black Magic didn’t have enough “Black Magic” to knock off the last place seed (White Lies) and reality quickly set in after their BYE week off, and their red carpet “Black Magic Awards Ceremony”.

Which leads to the question:  Are the pre-game awards a jinx?

White Lies who were the favored underdogs, finished in last place and then steamrolled through the first two playoff games with Dave Norton at the wheel of the steamroller…, only to run out of gas just 1-win short of a championship.

Two favorites… two all-time historical chokes!!

Cat Predictions

If you know anything about the Over-30 League Playoffs…, then you know about Sinjin and his predecessor Salem who have been picking Over-30 Playoff winners for decades.

The Abcunas’ cat (and their current prophet) Sinjin will typically spend the week before his predictions high on peyote and catnip before he decides which blurry colored shirt he chooses to crash on Friday night.

Like any 50/50 prediction…, sometimes they are right and sometimes they are wrong and someday we would like to go back and investigate their winning percentages.

But 2-weeks ago we saw the ultimate inside job…, as Sinjin conveniently chooses his masters black jersey vs the beautiful white jersey.  Which leads us to believe that the black jersey was probably not washed, and Sinjin was walking over to throw up a hair ball on it..., and they took the picture moments before he puked on it and then went and cuddled up on the white jersey.

Since everyone makes the playoffs… we’ll see what Sinjin says about his master in the spring.

Indecent Proposal

After scoring 8-goals & 3-assists in the first two rounds of the playoffs, Dave Norton was on a fast track to the Playoff MVP.  However, “Norty” informed his team that “if” they make it to the finals that he was going to be in Chicago for a tournament.

Low and behold after beating Black Magic 4-2 with a hat trick from Dave.., White Lies advances to the finals without him (or did they?)

Just like the 1993 film Indecent Proposal starring Robert Redford & Demi Moore…, the “Unofficial” Players Union President Jason Carrien had a proposal of his own for his rookie teammate.

Jay offered Dave $1,000 cash (non-union dues money of course) to not go to the tournament in Chicago and stay to finish what they started in hopes of getting Dan Broderick a new jacket before he retires.

With every player on White Lies thinking they are going into the Championship game without their playoff MVP candidate…, it was a huge surprise to see Dave Norton in attendance and not in Chicago.

Dave was telling everyone how the tournament was “cancelled” so he could play.  But like any good conspiracy theorist and through the power of Facebook… we found this;

So, congratulations to our own John Hines for winning with his tournament team in Chicago…, and congratulations to Dave Norton for being the highest paid Over-30 League player in the leagues 32-year history.

Don’t worry Jay.., we’re sure you can bury that $1,000 loss in tax write-offs.

Deserted

Mike Cresta and Rob Valley picked the wrong time to go deserting their posts…, and Manny Nunes with his poor scheduling of a trip to the windy city (and not for a tournament) which left Marooned even more shorthanded.

Playing with what they had…, Captain Jamie Kehoe and the rest of Marooned showed the league what it looks like to win a championship with 6-3/4 players.

Wait.., that math doesn’t add up 11-3=8…, not 6-3/4?

Sure, it does, the 1/2 was Johnny Mastrocola who has been plagued by a nagging hamstring that just won’t heal despite his efforts to use a potential banned OTC substance…, and the 1/4 was Donny Maccini who (as everyone knows) has a 1/4 of talent that Mike Duggan has.  It’s basic hockey math.

Fifth Time Charm

Congratulations Jamie Kehoe…, looks like the fifth time was the charm.  That’s how many times it took Jamie to finally win in the finals as a Captain.

Jamie holds a few unique titles in the Over-30 League…, he was a 4-time back-to-back winner (as a player) with Shooting Stars and GoodFellas..., along with being a 4-time back-to-back loser (as a Captain) with Drama Queens and Top Secret.

And the winner is?

Congratulations Ray Nickerson on your playoff MVP…, but it didn’t come without some debating by league officials.

The clear front runner was Dave Norton (8-goals, 3-assists and 2-GWG’s).., had Dave done anything in the finals to get himself on the scoring sheet, he would have been a hands down favorite (a goal, an assist) anything to have the #65 written down at the scoring table during the finals. 

The last time a player recorded 11 (or more points in the playoffs) was Jeff D’Addario with 12-points (2001 Winter Season).   The last time a player recorded 8 (or more goals in the playoffs) was also Jeff D’Addario with the league record of 11-goals (1999 Spring Season).  Although “Norty” didn’t break any Over-30 records…, he did manage to do something that hasn’t been done in 22+ years and (over 44-Seasons).

Also, for the Over-30 Historians reading this, Jeff won the championship in both of those seasons.  

Mike Duggan (2-goals, 2-assists) and he played all 30-minutes of the finals (and) he absolutely dominated the faceoff circle.  Mathematically having only 6-3/4 players helped in keeping Duggan off the bench.

Dale McIssac played 2-games and let up only 1-goal…, ONE goal!!  Dale was a brick wall in net, and during the finals along with making some spectacular saves, he played a very smart game when it came to tying the ball up.

Then there’s Ray Nickerson who had (2-goals, 1-assist and 2-GWG’s) with the 2^nd GWG being what some would call a “worm burner” in golf.  But if you know Ray he’s always under the impression that someone is trying to “F**K Him”… so when it came time to announce this year’s 2024 Winter Season Playoff MVP it even caught Ray off guard as he was already changed into his Golden Banana shirt (ala the Bill Belichick Collection) and was ready to leave for a date.

Superstitions

Everyone knows… and I mean “EVERYONE KNOWS”…, that you never “EVER” touch the trophy you are playing for (especially just before the final game) you’re trying to win.

Todd Bryson could be part of the reason why White Lies (who dominated) the first two rounds of the playoffs…, ended up getting smoked 4-0 in the finals.

Rumor has it, Todd was looking at the Over-30 trophy before the game and talking about the new black etched plate that had the now infamous Roadrunners on it…, and in doing so he brushed up against his nameplate, thus making pre-game contact with the trophy.

Not convinced that touching the trophy (pre-game) is a jinx?

Allow me to share more with Exhibit B:  Todd (with no one around him) was covering on defense when he turned, stumbled and unexpectantly tripped over the white icing line and (ala Charlie Brown) he almost did a complete backwards somersault as his hat went flying…, the only thing missing was the “A-A-U-G-H!!!” above him.

Stolen Shirts

[Operator] 9-1-1 What’s your emergency?

(Caller) I’d like to report a robbery.

[Operator] Where did this take place?

(Caller) Route One Saugus - Hockeytown.

[Operator] What did you see take place?

(Caller) I saw a team win a championship and they put on these shirts that were not their own team colors.  It kind of looked like the League Director picked these shirts out because they were confident that the team that lost was going to win..., and they didn’t.

[Operator] Sir, the caller ID says your name is Jim Barber… is this you?

(Caller) ***CLICK*****

[Operator] Sir…, Sir?

Rescue Squad

The newly crowned champions of Marooned are getting a little help during the shortened 6-day offseason.

With two players deserting them during the regular season, and not that they needed them since they beat White Lies 4-0 in the finals..., but the league needs to replenish the lost revenue in dues, to continue the “Season of Giving Back.”

So, with that said two Marooned Rescuers are on their way.  Chris Torres and Joe “Guido” Conary will help fill the voids left by Rob Valley and Mike Cresta. 

I know what you’re thinking how do I know the name Joe “Guido” Conary?

Joe was the original Captain’s Mutiny goaltender before being replaced by Dale McIssac during their Cinderella run.  But now you’re saying… Are they replacing Dale with Joe?

Just like Ben Stern would say to his son Howard Stern…, "I told you not to be stupid you moron". 

No, Joe is returning to the league as a forward..., and the good news for “Guido” is the expectation bar was set very low by Mike Cresta who played just 6-games and recorded 0-goals and 0-assists for 0-points.  So, anything “Guido” does is a 1000% improvement.

Rob Valley who also had to bounce from the Spring Season for family reasons was a tougher loss, as (despite his numbers) 0-goals and 1-assist…, Rob is a marquee name player and all-around solid defenseman.  Hopefully Rob will make a return in the future for the 2024-2025 draft board.

2024 Bulletin Board Material

Tony Rolli who is a top line center…, coasted through the 2023 Winter Season with minimal impact.   Tony was so invisible in 2023 that he almost got himself nominated for the “Under the Radar Forward Award.”

Hey Mike Duggan…, Congratulations on you “Non-MVP” Championship win…, clearly Ray Nickerson had more bribe money than you.   However, can you do us a favor and pick a goal for this season (that doesn’t include missing games for a marriage and/or a honeymoon).  With one game short this season (14-games) do you want to go for the 30-goal Club…, or the 20/20 Club?

George Medeiros is the next player up (Challenger #23) for the “Pink Shirt Challenge”. George must score 7-goals to complete his challenge and leave the pink shirt on the back of the current curator Scotty Rosato. 

Out of previous 22-Challengers (13-Passed and 9-Failed)…, which group will George be joining in the spring?  For those Over-30 bettors, George only had 6-goals last season.  So Scotty is betting the farm, the tractor and all the cattle in hopes that he fails.  However wouldn’t it be ironic if George scored most of the 7-goals (or at least #7) on Scotty this season.

Speaking of White Lies…, Gentleman you came within 1-win of getting Dan Broderick a championship jacket before he calls it a career…, which could be 2024 or 2034 if Dan needs to play that long to win a jacket with a zipper.  The last jacket he won was the Spring 2012 season when his teammate Dan Poirier Jr was a freshman in High School.

Which Scotty Rosato will be in goal this season?  The Scotty that played out of his mind for the past few months both in the Over-30 League and in the Hockeytown leagues…, or is it back to the middle of the pack for the defending “Best Goalie Winner.”

Speaking of winners…, who thinks Pedro Fontes will have another MVP Season?  Pedro was 2^nd in the league with goals scored (17) but only 8-assists…, if you want to get to the top of that leaderboard and stay there, then you need some more “assistance.”

Joe Carlton who learned a valuable lesson regarding the importance of replying to the draft deadline emails has finally landed a permanent position with the Tealsters Union.  Joe has some “small shoes” to fill with Tony Mastrocola bowing out for the Spring Season.  Joe needs a minimum of 5-goals, 4-assists (9-Points) to fill Tony’s vacancy.

Joe will also be credited for the 2024-2025 change in policy regarding the draft deadline.  Due to technical issues last season, next draft season we will post the player(s) names online with their draft confirmation receipt acknowledgement.  Nice work Joe and don’t forget your “Union Dues” tomorrow for Billy.

Rob Sheridan, we only have (1) goal for you this season (and it’s not a championship win either) we want to see if “Dr Rob” has the “patience” to finish the season #1 on the leaderboard…, something you haven’t done in many-many years.

Time to call out Dave Costa…, we see you had 10-assists last season, but does the Vulcan stick have any goals in it this season?  Does John Kelleher have to send it back to China for calibration or do you need to move up as a forward, like when you “Sandbagged” your “Pink Shirt Challenge?”

Tony Bono is not a “Bono-fied” goal scorer…, he’s a “Lou Merloni” utility type player.  Tony’s highest goal production in a single season was 8-goals with Mission 3W back in 2001. With 0-goals last season…, let’s set your bar low (so low that Donny Maccini could hurdle over it).., We’re gonna put you down for a minimum of 2-goals, and please don’t wait until 27-seconds left in the season to score the second one.

Elder Lopes you work for a very liberal college…, so it should be easy to get the time off to make the 2024 Spring Season games.  Just tell your bosses you are “triggered” on Saturday’s and hockey is your therapy.  We (and your team) expect more than 3-goals and 2-assists from your newly appointed leadership role.  Team Portugal doesn’t need a 5-point defenseman…, if it was that easy to make the team, then there’s a couple of Portagee’s above you on the defenseman leader board that can take your place.

Speaking of leadership Shaun Mulcahy…, Royal Family could use a little motivational coaching from a Team USA Gold Medal Winning Coach.  Last year it was worst to first with Captain’s Mutiny…, surely you have some wisdom to share and prevent another “Royal Fight” for last place in the standings.

While we’re at it… Ricky Cassano 3-goals and 3-assists ain’t gonna get it done.  There were (8) defenseman above you in the standings with more than 6-points.  (You), Angelo De Luca and Gino Tammaro wanted one last go around (well this is it).  You have between 14 to 17 games to make the most of the “Paisano Line” legacy. 

Next year you all could be foes on the rink.  So don’t listen to Jeff Deharo yelling at you guys about more defense than offense.  Jeff’s job is to “stop goals” and your job is to “get goals”…, and the Patriots won Super Bowls with the motto “Do Your Job!”

Speaking of the Super Bowl…, don’t forget to see Tony Medeiros tomorrow and get your $10 squares.

Good Luck to the Teams, Captains and Players the race to the 2024 Spring Finals starts today!!