Over 30 Hockey League

Week of January 30 (Game 1) – After starting the season 0-1-1, Olive Pits has been on a hot streak, going 5-1-1 and extended their current winning streak to three games with a hard-earned victory over Snow White by a 6 – 4 score.  For Snow White, their one game winning streak came to an abrupt halt.

In a back and forth first period that saw Snow White have a slight edge in play, it was Olive Pits who brought through first and scored the game’s first goal with three minutes left in the period, as Mauro Colucciello was left wide open on the wing, set up by Dave Parquette.

This game changed dramatically in the second period as both teams combined to score seven goals in the period.  Just over two minutes into the period, Gary Goodwin was in the right place at the right time to bang home a rebound off shots by Pedro Fontes and Nick Romano.  On the ensuing faceoff eight seconds later, Gary did it again, set up by John Kelleher.  A minute and a half later on a power play, Pat Pirone scored from the left point off a pass from Mauro tying the game.  Three minutes later, Pedro broke through the defense only to be taken down, and on the ensuing penalty shot gave Snow White the lead.  It was here that Olive Pits and Dave Parquette took over to swing the momentum.  Thirty seconds later, Dave scored on a set up by Dave Costa and Rick Cassano.  With less than a minute to play in the period, Dave struck again, scoring two goals.  At the fifty-five second mark, Dave was set up by Elder Lopes.  Thirty-three seconds later, Dave scored again off the passing of Dave Costa and Rick.

That three-goal barrage at the end of the second period carried over into the third period as Olive Pits took over the game with solid defense in stifling the offense of Snow White.  With just over four minutes to play, Gary completed his hat trick by banging home the rebounds of Shawn Mulcahy and Matt Farrell’s shots, making this a one goal game.  However, Mauro ended any thoughts of a comeback by scoring into an open net with thirty-three seconds to play.

Week of January 30 (Game 2) – With a chance to move up in the standings and keep pace, Jake-O-Lanterns blew their opportunity by playing a less than inspiring game with a limited offensive attack and their running game inconsistent.  Shockwave opened up a two-goal lead and held on late in the game to defeat Jake-O-Lanterns by a 2 – 1 score.  The win ended Shockwave’s two game losing streak while the loss ended Jake-O-Lanterns three game winning streak.

The first period was played back and forth between the two white clearing lines with neither team generating any quality scoring chances.  It was the defenses of both teams that controlled most of the play in a scoreless period.

In the second period, the pace of play picked up with both teams throwing some quality chances on net.  This game was shaping up as a defensive battle with both goalies stopping everything thrown their way.  It was a game of which goalie (and team) would blink first.  Finally, one team broke through as Rich Pelletier was set up on the wing by Tony Medeiros to score the game’s first goal with thirty-five seconds left in the period.  For Rich, that was his first goal in his last five games played.

1st Star

Gary Goodwin

3rd Star

Tony Medeiros

Steve Medeiros

Dud

The top story of last week has to be Matty Iannello chasing 508-goals.., However the performance did not live up to the hype.

It was like watching a lit bottle rocket’s wick.., sparkling, burning, anticipating fireworks and then the wick suddenly extinguishes and disappears inside with no fireworks to “ohhh and ahhh” over.., it was simply a dud!

Chasing history to become the “Greatest Over-30 player of All-Time”.., Matty let his fans down (BIGTIME!) as the inevitable leading goal scorer spent most of the game laying on the floor complaining.., and “The Great One” only recorded a very anti-climactic 4-shots on net.

Happy Birthday

How does one of the oldest players in the league spend his 59th Birthday?

By recording a “Pat Pirone Hattrick” of course.

What’s a “Pat Pirone Hattrick?”

It when you score a goal.., then break up a breakaway that results in a penalty shot being awarded for the other team (in which they score on).., and then you get yourself ejected from the game for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Way to go Pat Pirone.., Happy 59th

Slide, Slid, Sliding

Here we go again.., another sliding penalty and argument about “hitting the ball”.

Last week the “Birthday Boy” Pat Pirone was arguing (and arguing) about his sliding attempt which resulted in a tripping call.

Had Pat just went to the box.., he might have finished his game, but instead argued his way into a game ejection.., and with an argument you cannot (and will not) win.

Pat argued that during his slide.., he “got the ball first” and then decided to wage war on his defense with the referee to no avail.

Once again.., and everyone listen up.., (you ready?)

Keep in mind… sliding is perfectly acceptable and a legal valid form of defense…(BUT!)

If you leave your feet (aka slide, slid or sliding) and it results in another player losing their balance and falling (aka trip, tripped or tripping) it’s an automatic 1-minute penalty… no (ifs, and or buts!)

Avoiding Ejections

How to avoid a game misconduct or ejection.., If you slide (for example) and an opposing player falls as a result of your slide.., and the Referee calls you for tripping, then just follow the following simple steps;

Step One: Get up and quietly walk to the box.

Step Two: “See Step One”

Step Three: Get of the box in 1-minute.

Always Remember: “Zip it or Sit it”

30 for 30

Last week it was a ESPN “30 for 30” episode as Snow White and Olive Pits sent their respective 30-year old centers to play head-to-head against each other.

Matty Farrell vs Dave Parquette is a fun match up of speed and stick-handling but we’re giving Matt a slight advantage in the power rankings for his Slapshot ability.., but neither player really uses their slapper and instead most of the time they opts to shoot more wrist shots and pick their spots on the goalies.

Last week Dave edged out Matt with a 4-point game (including a hattrick).

Hara-kiri

Sorry Ray Nickerson you were another innocent victim of Hockeytown’s sub-par maintenance upkeep.

Last week Ray’s stick which is typically used as a weapon against other players and goalies.., was used as a weapon on himself during a Japanese “hara-kiri” moment in front of the Olive Pits bench.

Not only did Ray impale himself on some lose boarding.., but also loses a stick in the process. 

Historic Penalty Shot

Congratulations Pedro Fontes.., we can’t recall the last time a rookie scored during a penalty shot.., never mind a “Short-handed Penalty Shot”

With Olive Pits on the Powerplay.., and for unknown reasons Pat Pirone was playing the point as Elder Lopes or Alex Leone must have been resting on the bench.

Just 20-seconds into their powerplay Pedro capitalized on a defensive breakdown and was sent away on a breakaway with the brand new 59-yo chasing him.

The 58-yo Pat might have caught him.., but 59-yo Pat couldn’t, so he slashed him and the Referee’s awarded Pedro a marginal Penalty Shot.., in which he used put Snow White up 3-2

So there you go Pedro… you may have made unofficial Over-30 History by being the first rookie to score a (short-handed) penalty shot goal.

5^th Star?

Can anybody tell me how a player who scores 3-goals and 1-assist and doesn’t even get a weekly star?

Sorry Dave Parquette you were snubbed last week.., your star went to either Shawn Roach, Tony Medeiros or Steve Medeiros whomever the league voters ranked their performances as better than yours.., with a new precedent of awarding 4-stars for the weekly 3-stars.., maybe you were the 5^th Star of the week.

Weekly 3-Stars???

Follow-up question for the League Officials.., how can have “Weekly 3-Stars” and continuously award a 4th?

Do you guys see a 4^th player being announced and skating onto the ice after an NHL game?  No, because someone has the “cahones” to drop the 4^th star and just recognize the “Top 3 Stars”

If you can’t decide on “3” Players.., like the title states. Then change the name to the “Weekly Stars” and hand out as many damn blue ribbons and honorable mentions as you want.

Jackpot

We tried to give a competitive advantage by doubling up Sean Roach against Olive Pits the game before Matty Iannello was to supposed to make history.

The Olive Pits (and Dave Parquette especially) lite Sean up like an Encore slot machine for 6-goals.  Shawn was primed and ready for a jackpot payout but the Jake-O-Lanterns only managed to get 1-goal past Shawn.., and it was not the “508” one we were all cheering for.

Just Awful

How can a potentially high powered offense like the Jake-O-Lanterns only manage (1-shot) on net during a 5-on-3 power play?

That should have been the opportunity for Matty Iannello to step up and score the elusive 508^th goal… but it was just awful to watch.  If Johnny Mastrocola was watching that game he would have demanded a refund.

Orange You Glad?

Hey Matty Iannello..,

Knock, knock!!

(Matty) Whose there?

Orange?

(Matty) Orange who?

Orange you glad… Nick Doherty is back this week because your other line mate Jon Picard did nothing to help you achieve your 508^th goal.  In fact that selfish bastard scored a goal for himself for a fictitious race that no one cares about.

Counting Up

Dominic DeFrancisco is starting to show signs of struggling as the former “Season MVP (3x), Playoff MVP (2x) and Leading Scorer (3x)” took an unusual Unsportsmanlike Penalty while already in the penalty box for Hooking.

Dominic was the latest player in a league wide crackdown on excessive or belligerent chirping at the Refereeing.  Maybe Dominic was heard blaming the Referee’s for his dismal and under producing 5-points (3g, 2a) this season.

Dominic who is typically hovering around the top of the League Leaders Board… but this year it was easier to count up from the bottom to find Dominic’s name and it was a disappointing 18^th up from the bottom (which is just above the pool of defenseman).

Measuring Greatness

We heard an interesting comment from a few players last week regarding Matty Iannello’s pending record breaking feat.  We heard the comment… “He should break the record… he’s play like 10-more seasons than Joe”

Now the league does not condone such blatant disrespect for the self-imposed “Great One” especially on the verge of becoming “The Great One” by being #1 in all of the scoring categories (Points, Assists… and eventually Goals).  But we did have to listen to our league players and wanted to take the opportunity to actually “Measure Greatness”

If we applied simple math the numbers above:

Joe’s 14.08 Avg/yr (x) Matty’s 49-seasons = 690.08 goals is Joe’s projected goal production had he played in 49-seasons.

So although Matty will break the 508^th mark… his new retirement number is now 609-goals to fairly match Joe Shannon’s greatness.., and he has to work on improving his Championship Winning Percentage.

Help Wanted

Attention: Jake-O-Lanterns.., Shockwave and Snow White. Do any of you want to step up and help Olive Pits bring the Drama Queens back to the middle of the pack?

Both of Drama Queens losses were at the hands of the Olive Pits. Who’s going to be the next team to step and join the Olive Pits in beating the Drama Queens.

Like they say in the drafts…“Shockwave, you're on the clock.”

RIP BOBO

Billy & Kellie Abcunas had to go identify the clown they hired for the big event (that never happened) last week.

The hockeytown rafters were rigged with balloons and even a clown to celebrate Matty Iannello’s 508th goal.., but as you already know, never happened.

Hockeytown called Billy and asked clean up the deflated balloons, confetti and to help identify the remains that fell from the ceiling during the week.