Over 30 Hockey League

You went out the best way an Over-30 Player should go out..., an “undefeated “perfect” champion.”

Too bad Mike Naczas and Gary Goodwin didn’t follow your lead out the door..., they will never ever have the chance to retire undefeated (or even retire on a winning championship) They’ll end up sticking around too long and tainting their legacy.

Kind Words

We hope the players that were listening can appreciate the kind words that Joe Shannon said about the Over-30 League and it being “the best league around”.  It’s something the league has strived for since the day they brought the “new regime” of Mike Naczas and Jim Barber on as official board members and their campaign to spend league money through their new fresh ideas committee.

It was an honor to have you be part of the league for so long.  We heard you tell the webmaster that if you didn’t have kids and missed those prime playing days that Matty Iannello would never have received a commemorative stick from Mylec, as he would still be chasing 600 or even 700 goals…, had you not laid dormant for all those years.

Now Joe, you have a chance to improve the league by becoming a tougher (but fair) referee and give the players what they want…, and not just another obstacle standing in the way on the floor.

Deputy Dawg

We think it’s time the league thinks “outside of the box” and deputize Jon “Deputy Dawg” Picard to be the new offsides Referee (right from the comfort) and the best vantage point…, the Timekeepers Box.

Trader Joe’s Jeff

Looks like Jeff Deharo has denounced his heritage and has jumped ship.

Jeff is sooooo sick of losing with these bunch of offensive-minded whining Italians that he traded his Italian Horn Necklace and his Peroni Beer for a Filigree Necklace and a cold Corona…, (and) … *poof* …. suddenly Jeff has become Portuguese.

At least Portuguese enough to try out for “Team Portugal??” last Saturday before the Over-30 League with real Portuguese players like Dave Costa, Elder Lopes and Paul Seqeuira.

We reached out to the Italian-American Club President Jole Dolce for a comment on Jeff defecting and he said;

“What's-a matter you? Hey! Gotta no respect?

What-a you t'ink you do, why you look-a so sad?

It's-a not so bad, it's-a nice-a place.., Ahhh, shaddap-a you face!”

Housekeeping

There’s good housekeeping and then there’s bad housekeeping.

Good Housekeeping Standards: Inside the Home (from Google)

General— (1) Walls: should be clean and free of dirt, grease, holes, cobwebs, and fingerprints. (2) Floors: should be clean, clear, dry and free of hazards. (3) Ceilings: should be clean and free of cobwebs. (4) Windows: should be clean and not nailed shut.

Bad Housekeeping Standards: Inside the Crease

Everyone was gossiping about Jeff Deharo and his 3rd goal after giving up one to Pedro Fontes just 23-seconds earlier.

Jeff was seen sweeping his crease for debris and then almost completely turned around like he was ordering a drink from Scoreboards Pub…, but he was actually adjusting the goal post to make sure that the 3rd goal that went in…, went into a nice, neat, cleaned and squared off net.

Banned Substance

After the breaking news of Sandbaggers players using horse cream before the game..., the league is looking to ban all PEC’s (Performance Enhancing Creams).

The mystery substance bought from Amazon could be giving the players on Sandbaggers an unfair advantage and their quest to lock up the #2 seed.

If we start seeing this type of wrapping on the Sandbaggers legs, we’re calling PETA.

League Investigation

This is exactly why the league is currently launching an investigation into PEC usage by players on the Sandbaggers.

Last week Sandbaggers players were scrambling pre-game as word was going around that they were out of Equi-Block, and no one had the good stuff.

They tried to substitute the PEC with Bengay..., but they ended up substituting a win for a loss as Mike Duggan factored into every goal for Marooned during their 3-1 win to help leapfrog them over Sandbaggers by a point in the standings.

We asked “non-assistant” captain Mike Naczas for a comment on the loss, and he said:

“Whooooaaa” first of all…, I don’t know why Billy didn’t make me an assistant captain after last season’s finish…, and second, we did have some “Giddy up” in our game at the beginning…, but we stumbled in the second turn and then down the stretch for the third “furlong.”

Are you hearing yourself Naz?  That cream might be getting to you.

Spectator

What’s worse..., Watching your team lose 3-1 from Scoreboards Pub…, or losing 3-1 with your team watching you from the bench?

Both are equally painful..., just like Lee Nogler’s undisclosed injury.

Oh wait! no he disclosed it to anyone that asked or would listen.

Chip-in Win

It was nice to see all of the Tealster Union players chip in and send their unofficial leader Rob Sheridan to Naples Florida for the weekend.

Without Rob doing all of his fancy stick-handling and turning opponents inside and out while burying those fancy (backhanded) top corner goals…, the team could get back to basics and get their first win of the season without “Dr Rob” holding their hands.

Mr Magoo

Did you guys see Mark Stickney (aka Mr Magoo) take out Jim Barber and his own teammate Ray Dow with a blind chop and single check.

That “Road Hog” (Jim) was just trying a “chip and go” move to get past Ray when all of a sudden there was a three-car crash with multiple non-fatal casualties.

I guess with Rob Sheridan out of the lineup last week…, someone had to step in and fill those aggressive style of playing shoes.

Indefinite IR

The news from Matty Iannello and his agent (Mrs Iannello) wasn’t good last week.

Hopeful for a 2024 Spring return…, “The Great One” got some medical news that is going to keep him out until the fall of 2024.

Don’t worry Matty…, you can stay out for a couple of years and Ray Nickerson still won’t catch you in the “All-Time Career Standings.”

But just in case Ray wants something to shoot for:

Prior to the start of this season

Matty Iannello 1381-points (555g – 826a)

Ray Nickerson 1253-points (473g – 780a)

So far: Ray has 6 & 6 on the season..., and who here thinks Matty could score 19-points and get to 1400-points by just stepping on the deck and not even having to run.  All “The Great One” has to do is walk onsides and make one of those sweet passes for the assist…, and just do that 19-times.

League Standards

Everyone that plays in the Over-30 offspring summer league (aka the MISI League) knows that the league organizers/captains are not eligible for the weekly awards.

This week we’ll have to watch the Over-30 League Director and creator Bill Abcunas as he steps in front of the Over-30 banner backdrop (that he paid for) to accept an award (that he created) as we all had to read that “fluff piece” on why he won.

Now we’ll have to wait to see if his scratch ticket is a loser like so many in the past.

Remember the leagues no jersey, no ticket policy.., and Mike Naczas make sure you “take your time” and get a good shot…, you don’t want to screw up the bosses photo.

Next Challenger

See if you can guess the next “Pink Shirt Challenger”…, here, we’ll give you a hint with this nursery rhyme;

Georgie Porgie, pudding and pie, Score seven goals and make Scotty cry;

When the bettors come out to pay, Georgie Porgie won’t run away.

That’s right, George Medeiros has stepped up as the next challenger and his historical playing data calculates his challenge to be 7-goals next season. 

Current challenger Mike Luise is currently sitting on 5-goals of his 6-goals challenge and should be just a formality to get the 6^th goal with 3-games remaining (and no tax season).  Scotty should be stuck with his pink warmup jersey for another season.

We asked George if he had any reservations about 7-goals and he said “No problem..., I should have 7-goals before the first two thirds are over…, but the real reason I accepted the challenge is I didn’t want my teammate Jason Carrien creating a #BillMedeiros tee shirt and stirring up that pot again.”

Giving Thanks

It’s that time of the season again…, where the captains give thanks for the bounty they received back in September via the draft.

Black Magic – Captain Dominic DeFrancisco is thankful that he had the League Director draft his stacked 10-1-0-1 team (and then put himself on it).  He’s also thankful that former Roadrunner Doug Morand is suddenly “available” to play after going undrafted.  But he’s most thankful that Scotty Rosato isn’t playing like “Scotty Rosato” and has taken his goaltending to a whole new level this season.

Marooned – Captain Jamie Kehoe is thankful that Mike Duggan was his #1 pick, but a little disappointed with his post-engagement numbers.  He’s also thankful that technology has made his 11^th man obsolete this season.  But he’s most thankful that Ray Nickerson is getting a steady stream of “Nookie” as Ray has been a lot happier to play with this season.

Sandbaggers – Captain Dave Costa is thankful that the league has finally recognized his leadership and drafting skills and made him a captain this season.  He’s also thankful that Lee Nogler has missed 5-games and they are still able to win without him. But he’s most thankful that in the absence of his #1 pick Matty Iannello that the League Director replaced him with another high-powered fellow “Portagee” Paul Seqeuira who was also mysteriously unavailable on draft day.

Tealsters Union – Captain John Kelleher is thankful that the League Director split up Colleen O’Connell and Shawn Mulcahy so he wouldn’t be missing (2) defenseman every time they go away. He’s also thankful that he has Steve Taddonio in the pipes despite his underperformance…, everyone knows these first 15-games are just practice games for Steve.  But he’s most thankful that Rob Sheridan is still competing at a high level despite the hacking and whacking that “Dr Rob” takes (and gives) on a weekly basis.

White Lies – Captain Jim Barber is thankful that the League Director reinstated his “Captaincy” after another back-to-back trip to the finals last season as an assistant captain.  He’s also thankful that he gets to play with a living legend and Hall of Fame inductee Dan Broderick before he retires one day.  But he’s most thankful for the youth movement that has blessed his team with young talented players like Dave Norton, Dan Poirier Jr, Jason Carrien and Rich Pelletier…, it makes his job of sucking that much easier.

Royal Family – Captain Angelo De Luca is thankful that once again he is reunited with the “Paisano line” of Ricky Cassano and Gino Tammaro…, as his could be their last tour together so it’s time to pick up the pace.  He’s also thankful that he’s been surrounded by so many others from La famiglia and La Cosa Nostra despite their underperformance.  But he’s most thankful that as the leader of this underperforming team that none of his underbosses have tried to take him out with a car bomb in the Hockeytown parking lot…. “Salute and Cin cin!!”

Countdown 2023

Now that Thanksgiving Day is behind us…