Over 30 Hockey League

Article 471 - April 9, 2022

Game Results and Player(s) of the Week

BOGO
Last week Jeff Deharo filled in for Omertà and he ran a BOGO Special.., “Buy One Hat trick, Get One Free”. 

First Tony Rolli completed his hat trick in the 2^nd followed by his line mate Jim Barber in the 3^rd … but Derrick Power took full advantage of the Blue Light Special and had a monster game for himself scoring a goal and adding 4-assists.

Before the night was over Jeff gave up one more hat trick to Marty Makarewicz in his own game.., all we can say is it’s a good thing Jeff was the first goalie (ever) to decline the “Blind GAA Challenge”.

Blind GAA Challenge
Speaking of the “Blind GAA Challenge”… Scotty Rosato had an equally as tough game at the opposite end of Jeff… (with one exception) the 5-goals he let up counted against his “Blind GAA Challenge”.., and going into this last week of the regular season Scotty is going to have to pull a rabbit out of his hat before he opens his envelope to reveal his “Blind GAA Challenge”.

20/20
Matty Iannello sits just two assists away from joining the 20/20 Club (20-goals, 20-assists) and if he can complete it during his last game of the season he’ll become only the 8^th player to accomplish this feat.

So who are the other 7-players?

Back in 1995 Season 3 (Spring) – Joe Shannon scored 35-goals and 30-assists and shortly after in1996 Season 5 (Winter) – Doug Sedille scored 35-goals and 33-assists.

It’s hard to believe those records have stood for 26+ years when both of those players were in their prime… so there you go Nick Doherty, Dave Parquette and Matt Farrell (and the rest of the youth of our league).., go join the “20/20 Club” or aim higher for the “30 for 30 Club” and make a name for yourselves and the youth of today’s players.  Maybe in 25+ years you’ll be a legend too.

“LAST CALL”
No we are not talking about the team who spent the last few weeks setting an unofficial record for most overtime games in a season with a record of 1-1-2 in OT…  We’re calling “LAST CALL” for those players still sitting at the bar at “Club Zero”.  Here’s is your final kick in the ass to score a goal in the regular season.  You have just 30-minutes left to do so.

Keep in mind… there are no women left for “LAST CALL” as Colleen O’Connell already left you losers at the bar when she scored her goal back in January against Jake Deehan who was filling in for Reunited… and it was a GWG too!!

Security Deposit
Pedro Fontes is not getting his security deposit back from when he took his turn with the Over-30 Championship Trophy.  Apparently Pedro had a family mishap with the trophy resulting in some “Portuguese Surgery” to repair the little fella on the top.

We’re not sure how Pedro fixed the broken player… but he still better be holding a hockey stick and not be bowling a ball when we get the trophy back.

Don’t worry Pedro it’s only been a part of the League for what… 30-years now.  Rest assured, you’re not the first to damage it.., but if it happens again you’ll have to forfeit your championship jacket as penance.

Ut-Oh?
Nick Doherty must have had a job interview or court appearance last week as the normally disheveled head of hair and man-bun was switched to a 1992 lesbian do.  All he was missing was a fanny pack.

Everyone knows the mythical tale of Samson having his hair and losing his strength (Judges 16:15- 17).., were just not certain if it Samson’s haircut happened 2-weeks before the playoffs?

However, Nick’s strength didn’t seem to diminish with the loss of his man-bun as he still scored 2-goals and an assist… and his normal 1-for-6 breakaway percentage still seems to be intact.

But in a sport where superstition is everything and players tend to grow playoff beards… will Nick’s new hairdo affect him down the stretch and into the playoffs?

Spring Chicken
We’re reviewing the stats, weighing the players production.., and performing all the checks and balances before we announce the first ever “Spring Chicken Award”

Using the same concept as the "Spring Challenge Award".., the new "Spring Chicken Award" is going to be handed out to a single player that has gone the most over their previous winter stats… but each candidate will have had to played in the same amount of games (+/- 1) in both seasons to be considered.

If multiple players tie for the prize... the Over-30 Historical Statistician has created an algorithm to declare a single winner based on weighted calculations for (Points, Goals, Assists, GWG)

The winner will receive a special prize that includes $30 in scratch tickets.

Rented Mule
Poor Dave Costa… another season of another nagging injury.   Last week it was painful to watch Nick Doherty beat you like a rented mule to the ball.  Normally Dave would give the young lad a run for his money.., but a lower-body injury had Dave struggling to keep up and at times said “F’ it” as Nick blew by him into the offensive zone.

The one bright side for Dave is his new Vulcan (v6) Stick upped his goal production 25% as Dave scored his 4^th goal of the year.

The Envelope Please
And the winner of the first ever Over-30 Player of the Year is.., 

Well we don’t know yet.., the League Director has order that the election be extended one more week to allow these following players to vote:

IOC Final Update

The inter-league international competition was derived out of the “Pisano” line of Ricky Cassano, Angelo De Luca and Gino Tammaro and their begging to play together…, and to coincide with the 2022 Beijing Olympics and our version of the “International Olympic Competition” we pitted Team Italy and the “Italians” against the “Portuguese” with Team Portugal’s line of Manny Nunes, George Medeiros and Paul Sequeira.

As we wrap up the final week of regular season competition we also wrap up the final IOC competition that sprouted off as a side competition for the last two seasons.

Last season Team Portugal lead by Manny Nunes beat Team Italy in the first ever inter-league international competition.., but revenge is best served in a cannoli.

In Season 2 we upped the ante buy adding 2-defenseman and a goalie along with adding a 3rd team to the competition with Team Mongrel and their leader (and team logo) Nick Doherty to the fake international tournament 

Season 2 saw Team Portugal lose their star forward Manny Nunes for testing positive for PED’s.., and his replacement Tony Medeiros testing positive for an awful season.

With the newly expanded rosters, Team Italy lead by Matty Iannello just dominated the international competition to capture the gold for Italy. 

Next season talks have already begun to continue the inter-league competition through another “fresh new idea” for 2022-2023 and have the “2022 FIFA Competition”.  More details and teams to follow.., See you in the fall with more specifics.

Surprising Leader
When you think about penalty minutes and who’s leading the league… you would normally think of players like Pat Pirone for his often dumb offensive zone penalties… or Gary Goodwin for steamrolling someone.. or even maybe Mike Surette for “Suretting”.

All good guesses… but all wrong.  This season’s penalty minutes leader (going into the last week) is a person who is involved with the law.., and apparently likes breaking the law; Brian “Cappy” Capodilupo leads the league in “Sin Bin” minutes.

The only paid officials in the Over-30 League are the Referees and Timekeeper.., the league is not paying for a “Penalty Box Bailiff” so stop trying to apply for the position.

Last “Wow’s”
This is the final 30^th Anniversary Forum… as the season(s) of “Wow” is coming to an end.

The 30^th Anniversary planning started back in April of 2021 when the league director said he wanted the “Wow Factor” for our 30^th Anniversary Season.

Last summer Jim Barber spent 4-months compiling data, stats, memories and photos to publish the 92-page 30^th Anniversary Commemorative Booklet.

We really wanted to mix it up for the 30^th Anniversary Season so we also:

• Expanded to 6-teams
• Handed out Commemorative Booklets & T-Shirts
• Drafted & Named the 6-teams ahead of the reveal to the Captains
• Retired the “Old Man” logo for the one-off “Reaper” logo
• Added names to the back of the jerseys
• Had Team Logo’s created for the website
• Designed and used the new awards backdrop
• Introduced player photo’s to the website 
• Awarded a “one-off” championship letterman style jacket
• Partnered with Mylec for Logo Balls and Season Awards.
• Brought back an Over-30 Jamboree in memory of Nicholas Shannon
• Bagged an Elephant out of retirement
• Introduced several new weekly awards
• Introduced 4 new season ending awards
• Awarded the leading “Top-3” stars winner for the season
• First ever Goalie Challenge (Blind GAA Challenge)
• Honored our historic players with ceremonial face-offs
• Voted for the first ever “Player of the year”

All-in-all… the 30^th Anniversary Season was a huge success and a fun time bringing it from the planning stages to reality.