Over 30 Hockey League

Early Spring

We have Breaking News:  Punxsutawney Phil doesn’t see his shadow and predicts an early spring.

That’s good news for the 2-teams that will be eliminated from the playoffs on April 13^th.., followed by two more teams eliminated on April 20^th.

The real prediction is: Will "East Boston Phil" (Russo) see a $100 bill on the floor at Hockeytown to help predict a spot for your team in the finals on April 27^th?

Punching Bag

Tired of being the punching bag for the last place team…, Dave Costa gave his team a Herb Brooks “This is our time…” type of speech about getting back to basics against White Lies who previously beat them up 17-8 during the last two meetings of the 2023 Winter Season.

Dave’s speech seemed to work as they returned the favor by “Shutting White Lies up by…, shutting them out.”

Now he needs to come up with a speech for that Bruins groupie, Lee Nogler.

The Tale of Dave(s)

We heard Dave Costa also pulled his goaltender into his office for a little one-on-one meeting to ask Dave Giusti to please keep his legs closed and stop airing out his five hole during the game.

He also asked his goaltender to work on getting his GAA down this season.., and to bring it back to happier times when they both played on the back-to-back championship team Olive Pits

His netminder responded positively by posting the 1st shutout of the season and dropping his GAA to 2.50, and more importantly shutting out his scoring nemesis Dave Norton who in the previous two meetings, Dave scored 9-goals and 5-assists during the 17-8 routings.

Loan Sharking

Move over Italians…, we have a new loan shark in the waters. 

Rumor has it that Garvin Chan lost all his hockey dues at the Pai Gow Poker Table at Encore before the game last week.  With no deposit money for the leagues collection department, Garvin had to seek some quick financial assistance in the form of a payday loan from Eddie “The Chin” Chin.

Eddie gave Garvin some options on the weekly vig.

He can pay straight cash at 10% a week interest…, or, help him become a high-profile player by helping him get points and climb up the leaderboard.

If Garvin scores a goal and Eddie gets credited for the assist, then Garvin only has to pay a 5% vig that week.

However, if Garvin sets Eddie up for a goal…, then his weekly vig is $0.

(And) if by some miracle Eddie scores a hat trick and Garvin assists on all 3-goals.., then his debt to Eddie “The Chin” is wiped clean. 

Powerplay-less

It was a weekend of powerless power plays.   14-penalties and not one PPG.

The one lone highlight from all the powerplay(s) was actually a shorthanded goal by Garvin Chan…, and since it was unassisted, he still owes his weekly 10% vig to Eddie “The Chin” Chin.

Alpha Beta Do-ggan

Well, it looks like we know which sorority club Mike Duggan is going to pledge this season.  

Only 2-games in and “Do-ggan” as Donny Maccini likes to call him, has 7-goals to start the season.   7 of the 9 goals scored this season by Marooned during their first two wins have been scored by the 2023 Mylec Player of the Year.

Mike could be starting his own club “Alpha Beta Do-ggan” where only players with 40-goals are allowed to join the sorority.  But we’re going to monitor the situation closely to see if he gets sidetracked by his relationship status.

Ram Jam Remix

After watching Mike “Do-ggan” Duggan single-handedly dismantle Black Magic with a natural hat trick and then added another for a natural “quad trick”…, there was definitely no Black Magic to be had last Saturday.

If fact, we had the surviving members of the band Ram Jam remix their one-hit wonder to reflect the loss to Marooned. 

Sing along if you know the beat … it starts with a four count:

No Black Magic… (Bam-ba-lam)

No Black Magic… (Bam-ba-lam)

Black Magic had a loss…(Bam-ba-lam)

From Mike Duggan Shots… (Bam-ba-lam)

Poor Scotty wasn’t ready… (Bam-ba-lam)

Last year he was steady… (Bam-ba-lam)

No Black Magic… (Bam-ba-lam)

No Black Magic… (Bam-ba-lam)

At one point during the 5:30 game it was Mike Duggan (4) vs Black Magic (0)…, until Tony Medeiros figured out Dale McIssac’s weak spot and took two long (and low) slapshots from the timekeepers box that whisked by Dale’s ankles.

Equipment Manager Wanted

Hey Jamie Kehoe…, you need a new equipment manager or something?

Both (You) and Chris Torres had wardrobe malfunctions with blown tires.

Speaking of Chris, is he going for the single season penalty record by a rookie as he had 2-last week in only his second game.

Whiffed!

Riddle me this Batman: What is Teal, #88 and misses wide open nets? 

We were left dumbfounded by seeing #88 Leo Trombley as the #3 Star last week.   

Leo’s number didn’t even show up on the game sheet and he missed so many open nets along with missed opportunities that even his linemate Rob Sheridan came over to the penalty box and voted for Jeff Deharo as the #3 Star.

The real #3 Star in the Royal Family vs Tealsters Union “Battle Royale” was actually Jeff Deharo (who despite the score) played an excellent game in net and made some really key saves to give his team a chance to win, even though they had to settle for a point each.

The Nominees Are:

The nominees for the January 2024 Screen Actors Guild Awards “Best Actor” starring in a drama series or sporting event are:

Dave Costa reprising the role of Herb Brooks delivering a pre-game motivational speech before his team’s 3-0 shutout in the classic remake “Miracle 2 - Electric Boogaloo”

Bill Abcunas starring as Greg Louganis a professional diver looking to make a triumphant return to the diving circuit.  Follow the journey of an aging athlete and his thirst for “No Letter Leadership” in this made for TV Drama…, “Taking a Dive.”

Leo Trombley starring as Glenn Wesley in “Missing You” …, the story of a man who can’t hit an open net goal.  Seriously Leo “misses” so many opportunities that he should change his title from “Mr.” (Leo Trombley) to “Mrs. (Pronounced “Misses)” Leo Trombley.

And the winner is… Bill Abcunas “Taking a Dive.”

Acceptance Speech

We obtained a copy of Bill Abcunas’ “Best Actor” acceptance speech.

First, I wanted to thank the Over-30 League for giving me the opportunity to play in such a well-run league, and the new regime for all the fresh new ideas and weekly contributions.

I would like to thank my teammates for their support and my co-star Donny Maccini and his supporting role during the filming of “Taking a Dive”…, without his second check and push, this award would not be possible.  I would also like to thank the Referee’s who recognized my acting skills and embellishment. 

I would like to thank my wife Kellie for her support in asking that a 2-minute penalty be imposed to Donny…, and lastly, I would like to thank Donny (again) for getting over the boards in a timely manner so that we could keep the games on schedule.

To those league players…, the new regime, and James "Clubber" Lang that said “You should have never Come back”… This award is for you.  

Thank You... this really means a lot (cue music)

Retraction

The writers at the forum heard a rumor on the street that an anonymous player was looking for a retraction.  Since we don’t have an official Over-30 retraction request form.., and because the Forum writes itself…, you’ll have to speak with the Website Manager.

Welcome Back

Welcome back Ric Aylwin is good to see you back in action and getting calls right.  It’s nice to see you get together and actually talk about calls and trying to get them right.

We appreciate your leadership and authority…, But,

This wouldn’t be the Forum if we also didn’t mention that it was good to see you haven’t missed a beat when it comes to “Not Seeing Things”…, like when you used Tony Bono as a prop to show him how he was in your line of view when the ball was shot into the penalty box (hitting the back wall, making that distinct ball on wall sound) and then bouncing back onto the playing surface as play continued unnoticed. 

Welcome back Ric, we missed you!!