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Official Newsletter of the Old-Time Hockey Over-30 League
21 Seasons and counting
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Breaking News: The new “Over-40 League” regime was almost a reality as current League Director Bill Abcunas was admitted to the Hospital on Monday for an undisclosed injury. Sources say that Bill is resting comfortably and should be out of the hospital on Sunday (or Monday). He will not be available for his triumphant return to an undisclosed team of his choosing. Look for his helmet-wearing ass in 2-weeks when he is back and 100% healthy.
We reached out to Kellie for a comment on Bill’s admittance… and she declined our request. However, we did catch up with resident playoff odds-maker and prediction expert Sinjin (their pet cat) for his comment and he had the following to say in regards to Bill’s illness on Monday;
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Sinjin's spot on imitation of League Director Bill Abcunas ailment on Monday that lead to his hospitalization.
From what we can gather... Bill had some kind of stomach pain, followed by irritable bowels, mixed in with some knee pains.., which apparently according to Sinjim he tried to drink milk to help his stomach ache, but it made it worse and lastly Bill may have been coughing up hairballs, but we are not 100% certain
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Bill’s undisclosed illness leads one to speculate that he was admitted to Salem Hospital for one or more of the following reasons;
- Sick to his stomach that Assistant League Director Naz finally won a current championship jacket.
- Nauseated after awarding yet another piss-poor Playoff MVP Award decision
- Feeling ill at the thought of having to strap on the shin pads yet again to lead a team (that does not include; Iannello, Shannon and Nickerson) to the promise land.
- Disgusted by the lack of Website updates and game sheet summaries.
- Admitted for Pretenditis; which causes someone to “pretend” they run an Over-30 League, when we all know who wields the power in this organization.
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So we want to pass along our well wishes and get well soon comments... Hopefully the nurses and staff at Salem Hospital are listening to his whining and complaining because the staff at the Over-30 League could care less about his weekly list of demands.
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Just remember Bill... These two guys are only one bad stomach ache or flu bug away from the new "Over-40 League"
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| Future "Over-40" League Regime |
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Game Summaries are not currenly available from last week do to the staff at Salem Hospital not allowing Bill to work from his hospital bed and instead focus on using the necessary bed pans.
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Today’s Debate: Pat Pirone… "Former Instigator", "Playoff MVP" or "Current P-Whipped Domesticated Husband?"
Sure every now and then Pat seems to muster up a little antagonistic ways to get under another teams skin… and according to the playoff press writer(s) even voted Pat 2012 Winter Season Playoff MVP (more on that later). However more recently Pat is becoming a docile P-Whipped Domesticated Husband using such terms as “Wifey” in regards to why he cannot lend his former tough-guy persona when called upon to play on Thursday’s.
From what the report is hearing… awarding Pat Pirone 2012 Winter Season Playoff MVP is almost (almost) as controversial as awarding Winter Season Playoff MVP to Tom Bardascino. According to numerous sources.., Ray Nickerson should have been the Playoff MVP for In Shannon We Trust for (2) contributing factors; (1) Ray scored a Hattrick and helped dominate the play in the semi-finals and (2) was witnessed playing a very defensive minded game with some key back-checking moments (which is not typical for the 50+ elder left winger). Plus he brings Chinese Food for the bowling events!!
So to the playoff press voters in the future… There are two games to consider when voting for “Playoff MVP” and not just basing the votes on the final game, cause anyone can have a lucky game…, Right Tommy?
Once again #5 is being lowered from the fictions Hockeytown rafters and reactivated for On My Own… Which now means we have.., “The Real #5”.., “An Imposter #5”.., “A Wannbe #5”.., “A Rookie #5”.., all playing defense for (4) separate teams in the league. We’ll let you guess “Who’s Who”, but here’s a hint one of them is the real deal with his number hanging in the Leominster Dek Hockey Hall Of Fame.
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If you missed the Over-30 end of the season Bowling and Chinese Night at Lucky Strike Lanes… simply put, you’re a dumbass! Another great night courtesy of the Barber Family and Ray Nickerson’s secret Chinese catering service… The food was one again amazing and plentiful.
This time we had the largest “skins” betting game to end the night. New comer and rookie Anthony Lauletta not only showed the great Matty Iannello what 3rd Place looked like on the League Leader Board, but he also throws a pretty good bowling ball to rob Matty of a few skin wins and take a few early skin wins. That is until resident (twice a year bowler) Jim Barber settled in and schooled his fellow Over-30 players on the art of throwing a “Hammer"
Last years skins clean-up man Dan Broderick was a no show in this years competition... well, he was psychically there competing, but he was just a figment on his imagination in comparison to last years performance. Simply put... Dan stunk!
Matty Iannello however was the equivalent of the Over-30 triple crown winner… 1st winning the Over-30 Achievement Award (because Leading Scorer Award was taken) and Matty has to always win some kind of award, after all he’s “Matty-I”. 2nd he was the 3rd Annual Bowl-Off between him and Jim Barber (beating Jim by 7-pins), and 3rd he won another Over-30 Championship with In Shannon We Trust, despite his numerous idle threats to sit out the championship game he didn’t win the next skins game
So thanks again to Over-30 2012 Winter Season Champion (but not playoff MVP) Ray Nickerson and Jim Barber (and family), round 3 was another success and look for it again in the springtime.
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| Smiling Pete Lodi Pink Stick Bag Challenge |
It’s Official.., with Matty Iannello adamantly declaring “6-Goals” is not a push… Jim Barber accepted his “Smiling Pete Lodi Pink Stick Bag Challenge Award”
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| Jim Barber & Bill Abcunas |
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Game
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Shots
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Goals
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Highlight of the game
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Game 1
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3
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0
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Given a pass since this is the team’s first game of the season
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Game 2
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3
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1
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Scores his first goal, giving himself momentum early in the season
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Game 3
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6
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0
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Asks for a rules interpretation if assists should be counted as half a goal
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Game 4
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0
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0
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How can you expect to score goals when you can’t even generate 1 measly shot on net?
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Game 5
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8
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3
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Scores a hat trick his confidence sky high knowing he now only needs to score 3 goals in 7 games (Thanks Scott Rosato!!)
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Game 6
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4
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0
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Team was shut by Gardynski Sr. Premature celebration
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Game 7
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5
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0
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No goals and No Points and No Presence
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Game 8
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4
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0
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More penalties than points… with (1) horrible holding call
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Game 9
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2
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0
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MISSED A WIDE OPEN EMPTY NET CHANCE!!!
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Game 10
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1
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Scores a goal while shaking off concussion symptoms
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Game 11
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Missing game due to company Christmas party
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Game 12
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1
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Scores on a blast of a shot... but (1) goal was not enough
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The idea has been floated by the League Director of having a seasonal “Smiling Pete Lodi Stick Bag Award” become part of the norm for the Over 30 League.
Since it’s an on-going evolving conceptual award, a few additional names have been tossed about as a potential candidates to become the next successor in the challenge for the 2013 Spring Season.
More details to follow… but the following names are being considered as candidates for the challenge;
Tony Bono
Scott Young
Rick Cassano
Tony Mastrocola
Gary Goodwin
Mike Luise
Question is; when you’re tapped on the shoulder for the challenge… will you accept?
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