Over 30 Hockey League

Week of October 12 (Game 1) – In a well-played and entertaining game by both teams that featured momentum swings by both teams, Shockwave and Drama Queens played to a 3 – 3 tie, each team earning a valuable point in the standings.  For Shockwave it was their second tie in a row and they remain undefeated in their last three games; for Drama Queens, they remain undefeated in their last two games.

In the first period, Drama Queens scored first as Joe Carlton buried a pass out front from Ray Dow off the rebound of a Mike Surette (welcome back Big Mike from IR) shot from the point halfway into the opening period.  For Joe, it was his second straight game scoring a goal.

With Drama Queens up by a goal and seemingly protecting that lead, everything changed late in the second period as Dominic Defrancisco (who else?) single-handedly made a heads up game changing play by getting his team back into the game with a great individual effort and thinking man's goal as he broke through the defense and chipped a one-handed backhand low far corner with two minutes to play in the period.  Little did anyone know this one play would result in a three goal barrage in the twenty seconds that followed.  A minute later, Dominic and Luigi Derenzes set up fill-in player Jeff Harris out front giving Shockwave the lead.  Momentum change right?  Wrong!  On the ensuing power play faceoff only thirteen seconds later, Shawn Miville won a clean faceoff back to Ray Dow for a sniper goal top corner.  Textbook!  On the ensuing faceoff, seven seconds later Shawn took an outlet pass from Mike Surette on the left wing benches and ripped a laser shot top corner short side to give his team back the lead.

Undaunted heading into the third period, Shockwave kept pressing as Jeff scored his second goal of the game set up by a pass from Dan Broderick less than three minutes into the period.  In overtime, it was Shockwave carrying the play as they outshot and out chanced Drama Queens by a 5 – 2 margin.  A deserving tie for both teams.   

Week of October 12 (Game 2) – After giving up four goals in the third period last week and dealing with their second straight loss, Snow White came to play right from the opening faceoff and left no doubt that victory would be theirs as they convincingly and easily routed Olive Pits by a 5 – 0 score.  Scott Rosato recorded the league’s first shutout by goalies, even though the short-handed Olive Pits team had very little offense, generating only eleven total shots the entire game.

This game was over early as Snow White dominated play from the start and never let up.  Only thirty seconds in, Matt Farrell scored off a set up by John Kelleher and Jason Carrien.  Five minutes later saw Chris Ducharme score as he was set up by John and Jason.  Just under three minutes later on a power play, Jason scored his third goal in his last three games, set up by Matt and Gary Goodwin on a power play.

In the second period, it was more of the same by Snow White as they outshot Olive Pits by a 22 – 8 margin.  Halfway through the period, Gary found himself in the right place at the right time for a controversial goal, as Nick Romano’s in close shot went off the goalie then the back of Gary’s hand on his stick off the goalie who made the save but Gary was there to tap the ball into the net.  Did Gary “intentionally” direct the ball with his hand to the goalie?  The referees determined that he did not and the goal stood.

1st Star

Chris Ducharme

Antonio Brown’s agent Drew Rosenhaus released a statement saying that Antonio is still unemployable and that the Jake-O-Lanterns have released his other highly controversial (Replacement-Replacement) Defenseman Bill Abcunas who the team has placed on waivers effective immediately.

In an attempt to increase their firepower and offensive threat, new recruit “Jiffy” Jeff Harris has been permanently assigned to the underperforming last place team.

Welcome to the Over-30 League Jeff.., oh and those 2-goals you scored last week, sorry they don’t count towards your career stats. Those stats start this Saturday as you are now a paying rostered player.

Now back to our regularly scheduled trash talk already in progress.

“... and that’s why the word “stupid” was used as an adjective and not a direct insult as originally perceived and dwelled on”

Jersey Caper

Saturday morning text messages start coming across the Olive Pits team chat.., “Did anyone find a jersey 2-weeks ago?”  It seems that Ron “The Flyin’ Hawaiian” Aquino lost his jersey and was trying to retrace his steps.

Facing a one game suspension and fine to a replace (the best) jerseys to be handed out in 28-seasons.., Ron was in a panic.  The League Director was involved.., Hockeytown was called and the Saugus Police were notified of a potential jersey caper.

Ron started using that pineapple filled head of his and began questioning himself;

• Did he leave it in Vegas..,
• Did that stripper keep it..,
• Was it lost in a high-stakes game of poker..,
• Did he trade his jersey for a golden Knights jersey..,
• Or was it left under a bed at the Bunny Ranch..,

Because we all know “What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas” ~ including Ron’s jersey.

Like any good investigation.., you start with the basics. When was the last time Ron remembers wearing his jersey.., two weeks ago when he scored the first goal of the game against Jake-O-Lanterns.., then the light bulb went off and Ron quickly thought “Let me check my hockey bag”.., and there it was safe sound just stinking and reeking for the last two-weeks.

Absentee Week

Last week there were a ton of players missing.., and as in seasons past the emphasis of players showing up and competing is a growing concern.

The league could care less about the money (some other committed player will pay it).., the league cares about your commitment to play “weekly” to compete as the team was drafted, balanced and intended to perform.

Remember last season 4-Pink slips went out to terminate part time players.

With so many absent players last week.., the leagues front office took a look at a couple of new contenders to fill any potential future vacant roster spots.

Consider this a warning bell...

First Back Attack

First one back of the “IR-3” also gets the first assist of the game.

Cleared by his Medical Doctor and the League Veterinarian “Messin with Sasquatch” Defenseman Big Mike Surette strapped on the shin pads and put his foot to the test.., and that’s no simple test when you have 275-Lbs of “Standing Pressure” which mathematically converts to 425-Lbs “Stress Pressure”.., which shouldn’t be confused with the “Pressure of Sucking” after a few months off.

Mike answered all the critics quickly at the 4:23 mark of the first period when he assisted on the first goal of the game.., and then sat down and enjoyed some Jack Link’s Beef Jerky before his next shift.

Size Matters

Dear League Officials if you are going to use “Fill-in” Players for the absentee players.., then you need to make sure the “Fill-in” players can fit into the “Fill-in” jersey.

We didn’t know if Brian “Cappy” Capodilupo was playing dek hockey or going scuba diving in that tight spandex looking jersey.

Grievance Fillings

Drama Queens Captain Jamie Kehoe and Brian “Cappy” Capodilupo are considering filing a grievance with the Players Union Rep after last week’s mediocre performance by “Cappy” which resulted in a 3-3 tie.

Mr Capodilupo was forced to wear a jersey that was clearly 2-sizes too small which hindered his playing mobility and ability to effectively play defense to his fullest potential.

Meanwhile; Olive Pits Captain Jim Barber is consulting with his assistant Captain(s) Dave Costa and Rick Cassano if they want to file a lawsuit against the League Director for “Unfair Competitive Advantage.”

To protect their identities the fill-in players shall rename nameless as they may be called to testify in the lawsuit.

But.., Last week Snow White had 8-players while Olive Pits only had 6-players.

The League Director assigned 2-fill in Players from the previous game to Olive Pits making 8 vs 8.., but then assigned another fill in player to Snow White thus giving them a 9th player, an extra sub and an unfair competitive edge

Olive Pits claim is that they were completely understaffed and just like the “Fresh New Ideas”.., they should have had “Fresh New Players” from the BYE week team (ie: Brian Capodilupo filling in for Drama Queens) or “Fresh New Recruits” like Jeff Harris and Donny Macini.

Sign of Respect

Shawn Miville should some respect for the Senior Defenseman Dan Broderick as 3-times we watched the most dangerous shooter on the dek pull-up and take a shot on net.., rather than try to deke Dan and speed past him.

Or.., perhaps Shawn knows that “deke’n Dan” is not that easy as it looks, since the very seasoned defenseman may look like an easy mark.., but once you come up on him Dan will drop that stick and make you pay for trying to abuse a Senior.

In return Dan shows respect for his opponent by not shouting “Get that shit out of here” like another shutdown Defenseman in the league.

Impressive Play

This week’s “Impressive Play if the Week” goes to Dominic DeFrancisco and his unbelievable pass from behind the net.

Dominic was behind the Drama Queens net looking like he was playing with a kitten using a ball on a string. Every time the Drama Queen Defenseman attempted to break it up.., Dom just stick handled it away from him (all the while) looking at the font of the net for help.., as soon as that kitty cat moved the wrong way.., Dom masterfully dished a pass from behind the net to a new prospect “Jiffy” Jeff Harris who quickly buried the first of his two goals for the newbie prospect.

Injury to Insult 

Typically you add an “Insult to Injury”.., but Jason Carrien reverses it an added “Injury to Insult” as if getting “blanked” by Snow White 5-0 wasn’t insulting enough.., Jay “The Insult Comic Defenseman” Carrien took a “shot” at his former Captain Jim Barber that could leave the (almost) 51-year old “Shooting Blanks”.

Jays pinpoint accuracy clearing attempt from behind his net was blocked where no man should block a shot.

When asked why the Captain doesn’t where a cup.., he said “I hate running with a cup and besides it’s a percentage play that happens every couple of years.., so I should be good for a couple of years now”

Why the Costume?

Shame on you Shawn Roach.., going Treat-or-Treating this Halloween as a “Novice” Goaltender?

Where not sure about Jay’s costume. Is his intent to go as;

• The New Impossible Whopper?
• Mad Cow Disease?
• David Hasselhoff Dinner?