Over 30 Hockey League

PSA #4 (Chippy Play)

We are seeing a trend starting in the league with “Chippy Play.”   Everyone in the league (including the officials and board members) has to get up on Monday morning and put in a 40-hour work week.

The Over-30 League is designed to be balanced and competitive…, it’s not designed to be the NHL or regular night Hockeytown league.  If we see players taking extra liberties on another player, or excess “Chippyness” the league reserves the right to suspend of expel players from the league.   Players safety is one of our top concerns in the league.

Remember, the Over-30 league is an invitation-only league.  If your play on the rink is deemed reckless or not a good fit for the league, you will be removed from playing.

PSA #5 (Altercations)

If two or more players are involved in an altercation that results in the referees handing out penalties, any continuing actions by those penalized players or any player on the rink who feel the need to keep escalating the altercation, either verbally or physically, can result in the referee/timer running the clock during the altercation.  

If you want to act up after receiving a penalty, your antics can affect others by running the clock and depriving players of game time. 

Pink Challenge Qualifiers

Last week we posted the “2024 Spring Scoring Challenge”…, but we forgot to mention who the first (2) qualifiers were.

Mike Surette who’s on the verge of a career season.  Mike’s best season in the league was the 2021 Déjà Flu Season with Drama Queens when he scored 12-points (5-goals and 7-assists)…, along with 102-icings that season.

Bob Snyder also qualified by surpassing his one lonely 2023 Winter Season assist. 

But for Bob it’s not about points, it’s about championships.  For Bob he’s been on 7-teams, went to 7-finals and he just won his 4^th jacket…, so put that in your cobb pipe and smoke it.

Therapy Goalie Dog

Jeff Deharo and his new “Seeing Eye” or “Goalie Therapy” dog were spotted at Hockeytown last week.

Loki made his Hockeytown debut last week…, as he was brought in to help Jeff track shots and it seemed to work as he stopped (31) of the (35) shots that Black Magic threw at him. 

The good news for Royal Family is that when Jeff has a horrendous game (and he will)…, instead of yelling at his defenseman and forwards, he can give Loki a therapeutic hug after the game.

Royal Dump

Move over Conan O’Brien and “Triumph the Insult Comic Dog”…, there’s a new dog on the block…, “marking his territory.”

Loki showed his new owner and his teammates what he thought of their team record…, their place in the standings…, their second lack of offense and more importantly their lack of defense in front of his owner.

With the cold Hockeytown air…, Loki left a nice steaming pile of “wake up”.

Royal Family is so low in the standings that it makes it easier….

Better Call Saul

“Hurt while playing hockey…, letting in shitty goals.., you need an attorney that can fight for you.”

Hey, Dale McIssac, looks like you “Better Call Saul” for your personal injury claim against your own teammate Chris Torres.

Apparently, Chris threw a big “Sandbag” at his own goalie causing him to get a mild case of whiplash.  After the game delaying crash, Dale gave up an incredibly soft goal to Paul White that had Mike Naczas seeing green with envy.

The good news for Dale is that he now has a $100 retainer thanks to another winning scratch ticket (that he scratched just before his game)…, the season of giving continues (especially for the goalies)

Oh, and before you ask…, the answer is “no!”, Joe “Guido” Conary you cannot flip the tables and replace Dale in net to try and win $100 too.  You’re a forward playing for free coffee and burgers now.

“WWJD”

We don’t see it often but every once in awhile we see a call being made to the bullpen to replace a goalie that gets injured (or yanked) by their teammates.

Dale, who was seeing 3 hockey balls coming at him at once was the recipient of a call to the bullpen.  Marooned Captain Jamie Kehoe picked up the red phone to send the orders to get the giant monkey paw ready and give his goalie the hook.

Dale said he didn’t want to come out of the game…, but he was also channeling and quietly asking himself “WWJD”… “What Would Jesus Do?”

No silly.., “What Would Jeff Do?”

Dale took a page from Jeff Deharo’s best-selling #1 book “How to preserve you GAA by leaving the game early”

Thank you to Scotty Rosato who came in and finished taking the loss for Marooned.  It’s not the first time Scotty had to clean up for another goalie.

Easy Young Fella

Hey Chris Torres, welcome to the Over-30 League.., which could be renamed the “Over-50” League.  We like to use this Forum to send subliminal, inspirational, and sometimes controversial messages to the players and the teams.

This week we wanted to send you a little heads-up message.

We here at the Over-30 League have many players hanging on by a thread to the sport they loved as a youth, teenager, middle-aged man…, and now treading on a senior citizen with a hockey stick still in their hands.

This isn’t the NBHL…, in this league a hip injury could be a retirement party for some of our elder (not Lopes) players.

We just ask you this…, play fast (we have lots of fast players in the league), play aggressive (there’s still plenty of competition left in the league), but please don’t play reckless.  That goes for anyone under the age of 35.  There are a lot of old people on the rink that don’t want to be hit in the crosswalk by a distracted driver.

Oh and Chris… one last thing…remember, these are the type of guys you’re playing against;

Puppet Master

Way to go Mike Naczas…, see, you are teachable.  We heard last week you had a Barack Obama “Teachable Moment.”

Last week the League Director (Bill Abcunas) and the Leagues winningest contest player (Ray Dow) coached you on the GWG for your team.

The two “Puppet Masters” were behind the scenes, coaching and pulling the strings like “Naz” was a Marionette Puppet…, telling him how to play defense from the “Owners Box Seats.”

The “Puppet Masters” played an integral part in the (Naz) defensive poke check…, that started the play leading up to Tony Fosco’s 3^rd goal of the season.

Now “Puppet Masters” need to pull the string that controls the puppets mouth…, so he doesn’t beg for stars, awards and assists.

Slashing Defense

Just to put the league on notice… Slashing is not a viable defense for stopping Mike Duggan and his quest for 30-goals. 

Shame on you Dave Costa for slashing Mike and trying to take him off his game with a dirty slash that wasn’t even called. 

Thankfully you had a makeup call of your own when Mike picked off one of your outlet passes and went “top corner” in your face on your goaltender Dave Giusti.  They should have put #55 with the assist on the scoring sheet.

IR Prop Bets

Place your bets…, with the Super Bowl behind us and all the squares paid off, the next Over-30 prop bet is here for the taking.

This week players can bet on which IR player will return to action after spending weeks on the IR list.

Gino Tammaro has been nursing an undisclosed “abdominal injury”…, oh,damn! we just disclosed it.

Jim Barber has been nursing a calve strain for a month now.., and is just as productive on the bench as he is on the rink.

Bill Abcunas has been out with a kids nursery rhyme of ailments…,  “Head, shoulders, knees, and toes, knees and toes.”.., in other words everything from his head to his feet ails at his age.

Returning Odds:

Gino Tammaro  +200

Jim Barber  Even

Bill Abcunas  -110

Another bet could be which player will have the most impact for their team when they return.

Wanted Poster

Two weeks ago, someone put up a “Wanted Poster” looking for help for his hockey team on Saturdays…, and it looked eerily familiar as did the author’s name:

Attention Hockeytown Players…, my name is Angelo De Luca and I’m the Captain in the Over-30 League.  My team, Royal Family needs an offensive minded player that can bury goals and make plays.

I don’t know his name, but I am looking to find this player in my sketch.  I know he plays during the week and in the NBHL.  If you know this player, please tell him that Angelo is looking for his help this season.

It was our aging hero’s holding down the fort for their respective teams as Paul White ended up scoring the GWG for the Sandbaggers, while Dan Broderick had back-to-back assists (2-minutes apart) as both players earned themselves a couple of #1 Stars last week. 

Mike Nazcas had a key poke check play to help seal the win for the Sandbaggers…, but didn’t get any star of the game votes because “Gambling and Begging are not allowed at Bushwood”

New Guessing Game

Last week there was a bunch of Over-30 players sightings at the Bruins vs Kings game.

Thanks to an anonymous tipster who submitted a couple of photos for our potential new game called… “What’s He Doing?”

Tune in this week as we ask our forum contestants… “What’s Todd Doing?”

For 100-points… and a trip to Tahiti if you can guess ““What’s Todd Doing?”

Your Choices are:

• Trying to get unstuck from those tiny garden seats.
• Scratching his ass
• Reaching for his wallet for another beer
• Pulling a Kings GWG out of his ass 

Thanks for playing and tune in next week when we play “What’s Tito Doing?”

Great Update

We wanted to pass along a Matty Iannello update…, one of our field reporters reached out to him for an official firsthand update.

First, we are very lucky that this article is an update and not a memorial piece as the Over-30 Hockey League almost lost their “All-Time (Points, Goals & Assists)” Leader.

As we all know Matty had to bounce this season, just 14-points shy of 1400 points to address a heart issue that he’s been dealing with. 

Matty was looking at a repair vs a replacement…, he went in for the repair option and thought everything was going to be ok…, but then it turned into a replacement situation and (we) almost lost him in the operating room.

The good news is the hockey community, and the Iannello family didn’t lose one of the all-time greats.  Matty will continue to a prick…, but the 14-points is another question.

We think the only way “The Great One” will come back and get those 14-points.., is if Ray Nickerson gets to close to on the leaderboard.

Championship Loss

With Matty successfully on his way back to a full recovery…, the Over-30 League did lose a former player and champion last week.

Mike Florentino played one season with Midas Touch and won a championship with the team.  Sadly Mike (back middle) passed away this past week.