Over 30 Hockey League

Week of September 29 (Game 1) – In a closely played game with multiple momentum swings in it, Mixed Nuts came back late in the game and defeated Black Hole by a 4 – 3 score in overtime.  Even though they were outshot and somewhat out played, Black Hole had the lead late in the game only to watch Portuguese lightning strike unexpectedly.

Black Hole was missing its best offensive player but you wouldn’t have noticed as they jumped out to a lead five minutes into the game as Sergio Costa converted a pass from Shawn Wyatt (who was flying the entire first period and having an impact) from down low who was set in by Tony Mastrocola.  However, with less than two minutes to play in the period, Mixed Nuts swung the momentum in their favor, scoring two goals in a twenty-one second span.  First, Mauro Colucciello got free on the right wing, took a pass from Matty Iannello and Jamie Kehoe, and buried his first goal of the season from the circle.  Next, Gary Goodwin scored his first goal of the season, as he converted a pass from Matty and Dave Costa to give Mixed Nuts the lead.

In the second period, Black Hole pushed back as Jason Carrien intercepted a bad turnover by the defense, walked down the middle near the white clearing line and scored an unassisted goal with three minutes to play in the period.

With the game going back and forth with both teams having scoring chances, Black Hole’s Jim Barber kept his scoring streak alive at three games (and league leading goal scoring) when he was set up by the defense of Tony Mastrocola and Jason with three and a half minutes to play in the game.  However, apparent victory was short-lived a minute later as Ron Aquino’s cycling work behind the net paid off as he spotted John Leite on the left wing boards, who turned and fired a shot on net through a screen out front that had eyes, tying this game again.

After killing off a penalty in the third period with less than a minute to play, Black Hole tried regrouping personnel in overtime; however, only eight seconds after killing the penalty, a costly turnover behind the net by the defense of Black Hole resulted in Mauro scoring a gift unassisted goal in close for the game winner. 

Week of September 29 (Game 2) – With a chance to head into their bye week with the opportunity to move into sole possession of first place in the standings, Gang Green did not let this slip through their grasp as they scored a late third period goal to defeat Coach’s Corner 3 – 2.  For Coach’s Corner, the loss was their third in a row, and second game in a row that they have given up a late goal. 

Gang Green knew that had to get off to a fast start but no one expected just how fast this would be as captain Dominic Defrancisco hounded the defense to cause a turnover and blew right past them, scoring an unassisted goal only thirty seconds into this game.

In the second period, Coach’s Corner responded four minutes in as Angelo Deluca converted a pass from Nick Romano, tying this game.  With only fifty seconds to play in the period, Ray Nickerson was set up out front by Dominic, giving Gang Green the lead once again.  However, Coach’s Corner fought back retying this game as a rebound out front was converted with only three seconds to play in the period, set up by the passing of Ray Dow and Angelo. 

Meanwhile 5-Months Later

Dave Costa finally received his last award for winning and completing the "Four Horseman of the Apocalypse".

Dave was awarded with his New Championship jacket that looks like it came straight out of the MC Hammer collection.

In fact we have secret video of Dave practicing his celebratory dance moves.., 

Coincidentally your jacket has been delivered (5-months to the day after winning it).., so now you can focus on your personal "Drive for Five" with a 2018 Winter Season Championship.

Trick or Treat

We'll if you wanted to look like a Gay Captain America for Halloween... All you have to do is wear your new Blues Brothers "Flamboyant Blue" Championship jacket when you go trick or treating with the kids. 

Tired of Waiting

In either case.., Assistant League Director Mike Nazcas' new pull over Hefty with the slimming waist draw string looks a lot tougher than the flamboyant blue jacket that was handed out last week.  

Used & Storage

Fresh New Idea #57

Fresh New Idea "To Do List"

• Give out weekly Players of the week awards... Check!
• Give out Championship Tee Shirts immediately after winning the championship... Check!
• Confirm the New Regime as official Board Members... Check!
• Retire championship jacket for new championship Fleece... (Pending...)

Don't get to excited just yet.., but the grass roots movement to retire the current championship jacket that is made out of 100% recycled Poland Spring bottles in favor of a more contemporary and classy "championship hoodless pullover" is actually gaining a little momentum.  

After seeing the MISI League Directors hand out both the Championship and Participation "Team Bags".., and seeing the joy and smiles on all the players faces receiving something they actually want and will use.., League Director Bill Abcunas has become seemingly more interested in getting some feedback from Todd Brunson on replacing the obsolete and no longer covenant plastic hooded jackets. 

Todd.., don't FU&# this up!!  

We have spent years begging, pleading and trying to make the often stubborn League Director and his band of (Ghost Board Members) realize that it's 2018 and time to retire the jackets from the 90's.

Todd.., this is your opportunity to contribute a new legacy and something meaningful to the players over 50, thus giving them a reason to continue to play and compete for a potentially new (and highly covenant) championship jacket.

Remember Todd.., don't screw this up!!

You already screwed up the jersey weight and sizes for this season.   You could redeem yourself with a championship jacket that is worthy of winning.

If you need some guidance talk to the real decision makers (aka The New Regime)

Never to Late

John Coluciello finally made his second appearance of the season after missing back-to-back weeks. 

We guess it's never too late to start and the good news is.., he actually scored a goal.

Scoring a goal gives Cooch the confidence that he might actually be able to beat the challenge.., but like so many before him, the pressure becomes greater-and-greater as the weeks go by without a goal (and they will).  

Maybe Tony Bono can pull John aside and tell him about the pressure he faced coming down to the last 27-seconds of his pink stick bag challenge.

Dear Diary

Dominic DeFrancisco's wife was kind enough to take a picture of Dom's diary and send it in to the forum.

Dear Diary, this season that rat bastard Billy split up the Portuguese Crime Family because we were on the cusp of becoming a dynasty.

Well.., between me and you diary.., I'm glad he did.  This split has exposed that it was (me) all this time that was carrying (them).

If you don't believe me.., just look at the numbers;

Tony "Portuguese Power" Medeiros in 3-Games has 1-goal, 1-assist and probably 15-shots that missed the net while his team is 0-3... "Yeah that's some power".

John "The Codfather" Leite.., we'll I don't want to say anything about "The Codfather" since I'm sleeping with his sister in the other room.., so let's just talk about me;

I have 4-goals, 5-assists.., more than (double) the both of them together.  I'm on the top of the leaderboard and my team is in 1st place (even after NAZtradamus disrespected us but saying we won't make the playoffs).

Well Diary.., thanks for listening and sorry I spilt Rum Chata on you.., I'm a little drunk right now.

More later... and remember Diary, these are our little secrets.

Pabst Blue Ribbon Award

We'll the Awards Committee has done it again.., "What did they do?" (You ask)

They couldn't make up their mind on who won the Five Guys Player of the week Award.., so they co-awarded it to Ed Nigro and his "Rocket Blast" (Slap shot??) from the point and Derrick Power's and his potentially only goal this season.

The Five Guys Award was created and meant to be awarded to someone not worthy enough to be the Dunkin Donuts Player of the Week.., but played hard enough to be recognized for their efforts (plus who doesn't like a free cheeseburger)

But have some balls and pick one person.., otherwise let's change the award to the "Pabst Blue Ribbon Award" and just give out a 40oz can to multiple players.  Then you'll see guys like Gary Goodwin, Mike Surette and Shawn Wyatt step their games up to win those 40oz Awards.

Suckers Bet

Gang Green and Coach's Corner were tied 2-2 in the 3rd period and that's when the announcement comes over the PA System "Get a buck up for the next goal" then the dollars start to fly out of the pockets of those degenerate gamblers.., who quickly scramble to pick the best talent on the dek.

Dollars are being waived around with names like Dominic DeFrancisco, Nick Romano and Ray Nickerson quickly being taken for the next goal to be scored.

No one (and I mean no one) picks John Coluciello to score next.., unless your Jay Carrien and you have some insider information.

After Dominic misses a clean breakaway attempt.., Minutes later Cooch scores not only the Game Winning Goal.., but a shorthanded one to boot.

Enjoy your free coffee money Jay.., just like your goal on Sean Roach last week.., you picked and scored with a "long shot".

Goalie Joke

There are not many goalie jokes that relate to the Over-30 League.., so we'll have to write our own.

What's the difference between Jeff Deharo and the former Gardynski goaltenders?

Jeff doesn't throw his equipment during his tantrums.

Holdout Over

Rumor has it that Tim Hickey's holdout is over and he's set to return to playing hockey in the Over-30 League.

Timmy has been noticeably absent.., almost as noticeably absent as Bob Snyder in the Blues Brothers championship team photo from last season (which we still haven't figured out why he wasn't in it.., because he was there).  But nonetheless, Hickey and those speedy twig-like legs are set to return to action.., which is welcomed news for his Captain Matty Iannello who's been forced to focus his efforts on making Ron "The Flying Hawaiian" Aquino the points leader for Mixed Nuts.

We asked Matty about Ron's early success and he explained;

"Look, the league gives me Umberto "Papa Smurf" Biancardi and he has his best two seasons ever (18-points total) thanks to me.., then I get Derrick Power and we'll I couldn't do anything for him.., but now I have another piece of clay (in Ron) that I will mold into a beautiful goal scoring vase or a dirty ashtray.., it's up to Ron to listen and produce under my tutelage."

If Ron continues to remain in League Leaders Top-10.., Ron will be awarded with an autographed Red "MAGA" hat because Matty will have "Made Aquino Good Again" 

Unassisted

With 5-Goals and 0-assists.., Jim Barber leads the League in Goals Scored, but has come under fire from his defense calling him a "Floater" and a "Cherry Picker" and not covering the points.

Thankfully a #1 premier defenseman stood up to Jim's critics and came to his defense saying that Jim "covers the point all the time" and the fact the Jamie Kehoe who won back-to-back championships with the winningest Captain had nothing to do with him coming to Jim's defense.

The Black Hole Captain scoring touch may have been inspired this season.., as part of his summer reading program was Keyshawn Johnson's book "Just give me the damn ball!"

Meanwhile.., Jim is also working on a book of his own.., called "Stop blaming me for your bad passes"

"Little" Kahuna

While his team was 780 miles away in Saugus loosing another 1-goal game without him... Paul Correia was "Hanging 10" in Bermuda at the 2018 Masters Tournament.  

We're pretty certain that his willingness to follow the Woman's USA teams 780 miles qualifies him for either a groupie or a stalker.  Since we haven't seen a police report.., we'll label him a groupie 

Presidential Alert

Wednesday afternoon we all received our official Presidential Alert on our cell phone.., that test should have been followed by an emergency broadcast notifying everyone that Bill Abcunas is making his rounds and trying every team out before the playoffs.

Plus if Billy plays a minimum of (1) game per team.., that's all he needs to qualify him to receive a championship jacket.., and with the "New Championship Jacket" Committee gaining momentum.., Billy wants to be part of the inaugural jacket recipients.., since the championship jacket he still currently wears is from 2011 (7-years and 14-seasons ago) when none other than Jim Barber returning from a fractured wrist scored the GWG for Dead Men Walking.

This week Billy will test out Mixed Nuts.., (why you ask?), we don't know because Matty Iannello has always been the one to say "we play with what we have" and never wanted any prostitute fill-in players like Nick Romano and Jim Barber filling in for him.., so like you we asking; "Why Matty.., Why Billy?"