Over 30 Hockey League

IR Update
This week we start the Forum with a Week #2 IR update

Without Rob Sheridan in the lineup for Hammertime they start the season 1-1.  Reports say he’s still nursing a lower body injury and that Hammertime Captains are designing a prevention program to speed up and aid in Rob’s return.

Tim “Tito” Burke is also now on the PUP List ("Physically Unable to Perform" )…, and it’s not hangover related.  Timmy is nursing a mid-section ailment related to some summer activities (that also wasn’t alcohol related).  But rest assure, you players still walking around with open containers…, “Tito” has pledged a box of Tito Vodka Koozie’s to help disguise those cheap and crappy adult beverages being consumed.

Just remember one thing:  It all started in Austin, Texas in the mid-90s, on the very same land where we sit today. It’s been over twenty-five years, but we still make it in batches, use old-fashioned pot stills, and taste-test every batch to make sure you get only the best.

Donny Maccini was a last-minute addition to the IR Report before last weeks game.  Donny notified the team that he was potentially dealing with a case of Vertigo (or unlike “Tito”), Donny’s ailment could have been college football and alcohol related.

Ray Dow has also been noticeably absent as he too is on the PUP List… but just a slightly different version of the PUP List.  Ray’s Doctor has placed him on the "Physically Unable to Poop" list.  We’d like to say we are monitoring the situation…, but that’s really between Ray and his toilet.  If you want an update, talk to Ray yourself if you want to “flush” out more details.

True to their team’s name M*A*S*H…, rumors are flying around that Paul White is also on the short-term IR list with teammate Tim “Tito” Burke.  We have yet to get confirmation on the exact reason why he was placed on the IR Report, but we think it might be “depression related”, as “Whitey” hasn’t been getting the scoring opportunities and accolades that he received over the summer hockey program.

The league is also looking for someone to step up and start a GoFundMe page for Mike to aid in his full transformation to an Orca (and not just wearing the shirt). Please help Mike achieve his dreams and aspirations by donating today. 

New Appointee
Donny Maccini has a new role within the Hammertime organization… No, he’s not getting promoted to an assistant captain with Rob’s absence…, but you’re close in guessing it’s about “Dr Rob”,

He has been tasked as the newly appointed “Balls Czar” for the team.

When Rob Sheridan returns to the team, Donny’s primary function is to prevent any errant balls both “rolling or hanging” from causing any potential harm or pre-game warmup injuries to the team’s #1 draft pick.

Chinny-chin-chin
Eddie “The Chin” Chin should have had a career game last week… as he probably had the most “missed quality scoring chances” to bury a couple of goals on the night (even more than Leo Trombley).

We’re probably going to chalk it up to the fact that he was nervous about getting to play with “The Great One” and receiving such quality passes from Matty Iannello.

Eddie… here’s a tip if you find yourself on the playing surface with Matty and/or NBHL Women’s Elite Champ Mike O’Neil… “Expect the unexpected”.

These guys (or gal) are super talented, so don’t get caught up being a fan of the play and player… watch the ball, because they will find you…, and they will put it on the blade of your stick (So be ready - Eddie).

As you can see by the photographic evidence…, you were witnessed tampering with the nets without a scope of work, work permits, (or worse) clearance from the Over-30 League Board of Directors.

We’re still reviewing game sheets and video footage of the games to see if Dave’s “fixes” affected any potential scoring chances (except Eddie Chin’s) his misses weren’t anywhere near the top shelf where Dave was witnessed tampering.

Shot of the week
Don’t get too excited Gary Goodwin or the rest of “Team Perfection”.., it’s not a “spark plug” or even Timmy Burke handing out free Tito’s nips.

The shot of the week came off the stick of Dave Wilson… and like most of his shots, it wasn’t on net (or even close to the net).

Dave’s outlet “pass” or panicked clearing attempt (which ever - you decide)… hit the exposed 1/2” edge of an iced coffee that head referee Jon Picard just sipped moments earlier.  

Jon’s Dunkin Iced (whatever gross concoction he makes) was a total loss.  I can tell you it’s not an item on the menu and a Dunks gift card probably wouldn’t cover the cost of the ingredients anyways.

But after only 2-sips… Wilson’s wild ass shot took care of the rest of it…, as Pic would need a mop and bucket if he wanted to salvage his drink from the floor.

Dave, “if”…, and it’s a big “if”…, you ever when the Dunkin Donuts Player of the Week…, we trust you’ll do the right thing and let Pic receive the award on your behalf.

Punk Move

For those of you who don’t know… or are new to the league and want to know.  Over-30 Legend and Hall of Fame Inductee Joe Shannon once coined the phrase “Punk Move”.

The “Punk Move” occurs when during the weening seconds of an already decided game, a greedy player scores an empty net goal to pad their personal stats.

Now, we are not saying you can’t shoot on an empty net to seal the victory.  It’s when you do it (and how) that gets you into the “Punk Move Club” and there are several members already.

Last week, down 2-0 Mike Naczas pulled Dave Giusti for an extra attacker and Eddie “The Chin” Chin finally scores when the net is completely empty.  That’s ok, Eddie was 1 for 6 on paper but more like 1 for 12 as we stopped counting his whiffs.

So after Eddie makes it 3-0 with 1:35 left to play (Game-Set-Match)…, his teammate Dave Wilson fires another on net just 17-seconds later in what is referred to as a “Punk Move”.  Once again, another player who spent all game missing the net (except for an iced coffee) and when the net is empty… it’s time to shine.

Forget-15, Now-40

Remember Week #1 Article 521 forum storyline;

Considering Matty spent an entire season sitting on the shelf and a hospital bed…, we heard it through a reliable source that WynnBET Boston Sportsbook set the over/under on a successful return at a measly 15-points (1-point per game) for greatness.

Place your bets:

• +15 (-150)
• 15 (even)
• -15 (+300)

Well considering that Maty Iannello has been vertical for 6-periods so far..., and showing no signs or side effects from being a couch potato (other than his speed).

We have raised the bar for a new challenge… and another record for you to steal.

You already stole the “All-Time Assists” record and his “All-Time Points” from Ray Nickerson… and not satisfied with that you stole the “All-Time Goals” from Joe Shannon when you scored your 508^th goal…. Now, here’s something new for you to shoot for.

With 5-assist and 0-goals…, you’re not joining the 30-goal club anytime soon.   However, Ray holds another record that you might want to take a run at… “39-Assists” in a single season.

Can you set up 40-goals this season?  Just 35-more to go with 13-games to play.

Better yet. can you go with 0-goals and 40-assists for another record-breaking event?

No Leadership

We want to extend our apologies to the players on M*A*S*H… we left you without ample leadership last week.

Assistant Captain Mike Naczas was your lone “Captain”…, but it’s been a long time since the ALD had an “A” on his chest.

Despite the 4-0 loss… with two ENG’s, you guys actually played a solid game (and relax) it’s only Week #2, it’s too early to start panicking…, and remember; everyone makes the playoffs and your goalie is a proven and defending champion.

Thankfully Dave Giusti’s net tampering helped keep the game close until you pulled him.  Which makes us wonder what did Dave actually install…, plexiglass in the top corners?

The ”P” Word

Shhhhh…., It's a little too early in the season to start throwing out the “P” word with a 2-0 start.., but Dominions Captain Dominic DeFrancisco has been here before…, and AJ Larabee is throwing up Steve Taddonio like numbers with a stingy .50 GAA.

Do you remember what Dominic and Steve had in common? 

The buzz is… after last season’s back-to-back 1^st place finishes and back-to-back first round bounces from the playoffs, Dominic has personally committed to throwing a bunch of games to finish in 3^rd and avoid the playoff BYE.

30-Goals Average

Look out Mike “Doo-gan” Duggan there’s a new sheriff in town… and he’s on pace to join the 30-Goal Club. 

Call If beginners luck or rookie fortune…, but Dominion’s rookie Eric Fortin is on pace for a 30-goal season.  2-games in and 4-goals to show for it.  Could Eric be the 5^th Beetle to join the likes of: Joe Shannon, Doug Sedille, Mike Luise and Mike Duggan?

Will we have to wait until the last game of the season and see if he too can score 5 or 6 goals in a non-defensive meaningless game (like “Doo-gan” did) to join the exclusive club?

Mr 500 (Part 3)

You can add Mike Luise to the “Over-30 History Book”…. Chapter 44, Page 77, Section 4… “Players that have scored 500-Goals in the Over-30 League”.

The first player to hit 500-goals was Joe Shannon which took 33-seasons (1993-2013) to record and finished that season with 502-goals.  Then Matty Iannello recorded his 500^th goal in 2020 after 48-seasons (1996-2020).

Now Mike Luise was inducted to that very exclusive 500-goal club after scoring his 500^th goal, but it took Mike the longest and into his 59^th season (1994-2024).

It should also be noted that Mike’s 500^th goal was not a thing of beauty either…, it was a bank shot ricochet from the side of the net.  Kinda reminded us of Matty’s uncalled “High Sticking” 508^th record breaking goal.

Current All-Time Goals Records

Matty Iannello - 555-Goals (Active) – But might never score another goal again.

Joe Shannon - 528-Goals (Retired) – Hall of Fame Inductee

Mike Luise - 500-goals (Active) – Will be a Hall of Fame Inductee (Someday)

Next up for the 500-goal watch is Ray Nickerson who came into this season with 487-goals and scored 2-goals this season to climb to 489-goals, only 11 away from his 500^th goal celebration.

So let the betting begin… When will Ray Nickerson score his 500^th Goal?

This Season: +500

Next Season: -150

Retires with 499-Goals: -1000

Getting pissed at Leo: (Even)

Special Delivery

Speaking of Leo Trombley and Ray Nickerson…, it’s so fun watching Ray’s face and antics when he sees another one of his “All-Time” assists go up in flames.

Last week Ray “mailed” a beautiful pass from his office (at the top of the faceoff circle) to the office of Leo Trombley (on the doorstep of Jake Deehan’s goalie crease). 

Ray had so much time and space to think about the pass…, that we watched him literally pick the ball up (which is legal if he puts it straight down) and then took a sharpie from his pocket to write on the ball:

“To Leo, congratulations on scoring your 34^th goal of your Over-30 Hockey League career…, this pass will be my 806^th All-Time Career Assist once you bury this goal”  ~ Love Ray

After “mailing” the pass down low to Leo…, 5-seconds later Ray received the ball back with a note saying; “Return to Sender”…, as Leo’s, point-blank, slam-dunk, easy-peezy of a goal was flubbed, leaving Leo without #34 and Ray without #806.

Leo “The Brave”

Not to harp on Leo Trombley but he has become infamous for his legendary whiffs… and sometimes in game changing opportunities…, and those in “Hecklers Row” are quick to let Leo know it.

But let’s look at Leo’s recent track record… Aside from being a three-peat championship debate in the MISI league…, he’s only been in the Over-30 League for 2-years (4-seasons) and he’s gone to the big dance 3-out-of-4 times…, and has one championship (so far). 

So, for Leo “The Brave” Trombley, he knows how to get to the big dance…, between both leagues he has 6-finals appearances and 4-championships… those are some pretty good numbers at the end of the day for anyone playing in sports.

Plus, Leo “Getz” gets extra bonus points for winning (3) of those championships with Ray Nickerson.

Roofer

Looks like Gary Goodwin got himself a part-time job on Saturdays.  If your home has a leaky roof…, call “Stonehands Roofing” as last week we watched Gary “roof” the go-ahead goal breaking the 3-3 tie in the early minutes of the third. 

Unfortunately for Gary it wouldn’t last long as the GWG…, because the 3^rd period was full of momentum swings as both teams exchanged the lead on their way to a 5-5 tie in OT.

Portuguese MIA

For Azores Express, their 0-1-1 start is without their #55 Steam Engine Dave Costa, who apparently has some kind of dual citizenship between the US and the Motherland Portugal. 

The real question is, Which Portuguese player will miss more games this season, Dave Costa and his trips to Florida and Portugal or Hammertime Assistant Captain Elder Lopes for his overtime earnings? 

We’re not sure what nationality Lee Nogler is…, but he sure misses a lot of games like a “Portagee”.

First OT

The first overtime 3v3 of the season ended in a tie thanks to both Jake Deehan and Scotty Rosato coming up big for their teams.

This should have ended with a Barney & Friends win…, especially when you saw Mike Duggan and Leo Trombley as two of your three starters.  But this time it was Jake shutting down “Doo-gan” (instead of Scotty).

There is also a whistleblower investigation underway that the leagues draft board favored a special request from Mike Duggan in the off-season. 

According to the signed affidavit…, in the comments section of Mike’s online application he stated, “As you know how the saying goes… If you can’t beat him (on a breakaway) … ,join him!”…, and with that comment, Mike formally requested to be placed on the same team as Scotty Rosato to avoid any future embarrassing situations while on breakaways.

Who ever got Dominic to show up for 13-games on a weeknight and go for “Perfection - Part 2” deserves the Congressional Medal of Honor.

Also, you might want to get a better camera to capture such a momentous occasion.