Over 30 Hockey League

Parking

Today’s top story is… Parking!! 

Last week, several players circled the parking lot trying to find a spot.  With hockey season in full bloom, this exercise can take several minutes and multiple laps… Please make sure you allow yourself plenty of extra time, so your captains aren’t panicking for help from the League Director.

Or… you can do what Gary Goodwin did and park at his destination (Hooters) and walk back to Hockeytown.  However, we don’t recommend this if your after-game destination is across Route 1 at Kowloon’s.

We also heard Poo Bears captain Dave Costa tell Pat Pirone to just park his car in his driveway this week.

Kevin’s Not Here!

Welcome aboard Kevin Wilson… after filling in on Week #1 for Jon Brown, Kevin earned a permanent spot this season with Capo-Zero, after Jon when out on unexpected and indefinite IR.

Kevin played a key role in the opening weekend 5-1 thrashing of The Revolution… so how did he do in Week #2? 

Let’s ask captain Angelo De Luca how he did during the 9-5 “shootout” lost to Tommy Guns?  This might help explain their massive loss in Week #2

New Over-30 Award

For the new “Over-30” Award, the league decided that we needed to “Double the 30” and create a new “Over-60” Award.  This award is specific to those players age 60 (and over) who have yet to quit or keep moving in the off season to avoid getting a “time to retire” letter from Billy.

Like Keith Richards defying retirement from the Rolling Stones, these 13-players have kept rolling into Hockeytown every week for the past 30+ years and strapping on the pads to “pad” their Power Ranking Stats due to their longevity in the league.

We tried to come up with a creative award to recognize our most senior players with a fitting award… a bottle of Geritol, a gift certificate to a colonoscopy, an early bird special at the former Continental… all good ideas, but we settled on this;

Every month and starting in October, we are going to award a $40 gift card to Kanes Donuts on Route 1… nothing says “Senior Citizen” better than a Kanes Coffee Roll and the Sunday Newspaper.

We are going to consider the players’ previous (overall) monthly performance and not just base it on stats… as most of these geezers won’t score a single point, but they may play a key role in their team’s monthly success.

Tune in, the first week in November to see which one of these “Mr Magoo’s” is getting the first ever “Over-60 Senior Citizen Discount” at Kanes Donuts.

MVP Candidates

After their 9-5 win last week, plus their 2-0 start this season… and the only “Hot” team in the league standings… This season’s 2025 Winter Season MVP is going to come from Tommy Guns; it’s just a question of who’s name is going on the MVP Lucite Award.

Will the “M” stand for Mike Duggan Valuable Player… or will it be the “P” for Most Valuable Patrick Spencer… or maybe the “V” for Tommy “Victorious” Gallagher when he wins a championship as a captain and beats Angelo De Luca to the winner’s podium.

Sure, it might be a little early to be talking about this seasons MVP’s… but we can all agree that Tommy Guns is the new “Stacked Team” that does not have Dominic DeFrancisco as their captain.

Plus/Minus

The Tommy Guns vs Capo-Zero game played an entire games worth of scoring in the 1^st period alone.  Tommy Guns finished the first period up 5-3 on Capo-Zero… to put that in perspective the 6:30 game had a final score of 5-3 after 30-minutes of play.

Poor Johnny Mastrocola was on a Plus/Minus emotional roller coaster… First he was “Booooo’d” by some inappropriate hecklers when he was filling in on defense for the (late arrival) Alex Leone, and in doing so… he let Angelo De Luca score the first goal of the game… and we all know from league history… “That’s a minus!!”

Then Johnny stifled his “Executive Critics” with a go-ahead goal to make it 2-1… only to quickly be “Booooo’d” (again) just 21-seconds later when some guy they call “Guido” (Joe Conary) tied it up 2-2. 

Thankfully and shortly after getting another minus, Alex found a parking spot and made his way onto the bench before the first period was over and helped to stabilize the Tommy Guns defense and Johnny’s Plus/Minus.

Over/Under 10

At one point of the game… Wagers started to fly with the Over/Under on Dale McIssac being set at (10) Goals Against. 

Thankfully for Dale (and down 9-4) it was running time for almost 8-minutes as he stopped (6) out of (7) shots in the 3^rd period, before his defenseman Jamie Kehoe scored to make it 9-5 with 2:14 left to play.

We asked Jamie why he scored such a meaningless goal to stop the running time… and he just winked and said… “I put $50 on the Over”

U-G-L-Y

Hey Todd Bryson… some players on your team think their shirts and team logo are “U-G-L-Y”, well maybe at least one player (Ricky Cassano) does.

But we witnessed something even uglier… Your GWG with just 2:11 left to play.  Wow!, did you “Wiff” in a good way… as that was most definitely the “Shittiest” goal that a Poo Bear scored this season (so far).

We only wished that Leo Trombley was there to see how it’s done… Wiff on a one-timer and score the GWG.

Nice work Todd… you’re in the running for the Poo Bears “Shittiest Goal of the Season” Award… and without a doubt we fully expect Leo to submit a few candidates of his own before the season is over.

Split Personalities

Mike Duggan who rarely gets the nod to fill-in for teams… was asked to fill-in for the Poo Bears.  He probably asked because he golfs with the ALD, and Mike Naczas is known to bring in players like Cam Long and “Doo-gan” without asking for permission first.

“Doo-gan” had strict guidelines if he was going to be used as a fill-in…. Don’t play like an MVP candidate… Play somewhere between Rob Sheridan and Leo Trombley… feel free to score goals like Rob but also mix in some missed opportunities on prime scoring chances, like Leo.

Mike, staying true to his dual roll assignment with “Split Personalities” celebrated his “Rob-like” goal to put the Poo Bears up 2-0… and then just 26-seconds later was complaining about Sean Roach letting up a goal to Eddie Chin.

Brown-town

Several players can’t wait until opening day to get their exact jersey colors before buying new matching sneakers for the upcoming seasons.

Thankfully for Dave Costa he knew his team was “Brown” and a quick search in Amazon only had (1) sneaker brand brave enough to make that “muddy mess” of a color. 

Dave’s chocolate brown New Balance sneakers have him “streaking” to “Brown-town” as his Poo Bears sit in the “#2” spot in the standings… Dave is doing his part and working on “Making Brown Great Again”…. But he’ll have to wait another week on “Making Rob Great Again” as rumor has it, he is missing his second consecutive week.

Top Shot Blocker

After a disappointing Week #1 start, The Revolution bounced back a little with another loss, but it almost had a moral victory vibe as they barely lost to probably one of the top two teams in the league.

With their #1 defenseman and “Top Shot Blocker” Steve Silveira making his Over-30 debut and returning to play after his summer stint on IR… Steve helped keep the shots away from Scotty and helped anchor The Revolution defense.

The Revolution is a team of “Superstar-less” players… but I think once they find their identity they can run with the big dogs as their (technically 1-goal loss) to a full castle of Cam-A-Lot says a lot about the fight in the dog.

Police Reports

As of today’s publishing, there was no official Police report filed against Donny Maccini for his borderline (boarding) but called a check on Jim Barber… and/or the subsequent assault on Colleen O’Connell.

Donny blatantly tried to add another exit door to the penalty box side of the rink by using Jim’s body as a demo tool… and then shamefully tried to outmuscle Colleen by squishing her against the boards.

We asked Donny for a comment on his reckless play and he said; “They both have long hair, and I don’t know who’s who, or what pronoun’s Jim and Colleen use… but I can tell you this, I put… “they/them”… into the boards and enjoyed my extra 1.5-minute rest in the penalty box.”

30-for-30

There’s a new challenger that should “throw his hat into the ring” and take a run at a league record.  #1 Draft Pick Cam Long should take a run at a 30-goal season and maybe even (dare we say it) a “35-Goal” season.

Sure, Patrick Spencer has 5-goals compared to Cam’s 2-goals… but Cam is just playing nice because he’s new to the league and doesn’t want to show off.

Just so you know Cam, only (4) players have broken 30-goals. 

Look at the gap between when Doug Sedille and Mike Duggan scored their 30-goal seasons… and both players were “30-for-30”  as they were in their early 30’s when they accomplished this feat.

Late Breaking News: Cam is rumored to be out this week… so go ahead Patrick Spencer, you take the lead on this one and go for “30 or 35” this season.  It should be easier for you to achieve, since the last two guys to do it are your teammates.

Team Recognition

Shawn Miville started the “team” award back in Spring of 2017 when playing on Trojan Horse, he awarded a fellow teammate with a team player of the week award with the inaugural “Gladiator Helmet” and, that tradition continued to the Rhino’s with a “Rhino Head” and then onto the Drama Queens with a “Pink Boa” award… and then nothing after Shawn quit the league.

This year the “Non-A” wearing Poo Bears defenseman Mike Naczas is bringing back the old tradition with his new team award…

We just need to come up with the appropriate name…  Do we call it the “Shitbag of the Week”… “The #2 Star”… the “Courtesy Flush”… whatever you guys decide to call the weekly “throne award” please let us know so we can properly address them as such.

Either way, congratulations Pedro Fontes on your inaugural team award… let’s just hope you don’t win it a lot because as the saying goes… “If it’s yellow, let it mellow… if it’s brown, flush it down.”  The Poo Bears can’t afford to flush you down.

Board Of Hecklers

With Jason Carrien on sabbatical… who would have thought those missing chirps from “Hecklers Row” would be replaced by the “Board of Hecklers”.

Last week, all (4) board members were standing in the Statler & Waldorf Luxury Box Suite having an impromptu meeting when they began to unmercifully heckle one of the “Lollipop Kids”  Johnny Mastrocola.

Thankfully Johnny, a seasoned veteran of the league, knew how to make them shut up and check the roof for leaks and burnt-out lights when he ripped a slapshot goal to silence them.

We’ll ask Tommy Gallagher (again)… Forget the “Bald Eagle” Line and please put Tony & Johnny Mastrocola on a line with their cousin Tony Fosco so they can be the “Lollipop Guild” line… and they can celebrate each other’s goals with a dance.

Congrats to Dave Costa, Elder Lopes, Mike Duggan, Jose Silva and Dominic DeFrancisco (MIA) and also to a couple of former Over-30 players; Mike Travassos, Dave Purcell, Paul Sequeira, and Over-30 fill-in goalie Mike Viera.

Azores Express beat Wine Cellar 5-3 as the only two D1 teams still playing at Hockeytown.  Once again Dave Costa beat Scotty Rosato and Jim Barber… and Dave told ESPN News; “it never gets old beating those washed-up bums”