Over 30 Hockey League

Grand Opening

No need to wait in line… The Over-30 League Apparel Store is now online and open for business.

Todd Bryson with SignArt pitched the idea of our players having the ability to buy league branded apparel.  The league’s Board of Directors worked with Todd on the concept and now the implementation of the first ever Over-30 Hockey League Store.

The store will feature Over-30 swag to coincide with a special purpose.  The League Director, in working with Todd and the Board Members, are all in agreement to donate their time, efforts and most importantly, the profits… so that all the proceeds can be contributed to Paul Strong & The Give Back to the Players Fund.

At the bottom of the store page, you can watch the contributions grow through purchases… as we continue our fundraising efforts throughout both seasons.  We will also be adding new items and specialty novelty items to keep the store fresh.

Go check it out… and start representing

Website: https://stores.inksoft.com/Over30/shop/home

Blockbuster Trades

Last week was the first time in the league’s 34-year history that we witnessed a 3-way blockbuster deal.  With key veteran players being “self-benched” this season for different reasons, the League Director had to work his magic… that may or may not have involved some begging.

With only 3-defenseman available, the 4:30 game saw Jason Carrien “filling in” for The Revolution… only it wasn’t a “fill-in” role, it was a “temp-to-perm” position as the League Director moved Rob Greene from The Revolution to Capo-Zero… to fill their void with Paul White out for the season.

Now you’re asking, why not just give them Jason?  That would give them too strong of a defense with Jamie Kehoe, John Carey and (Former Playoff MVP) Shawn Mulcahy.  The league is not going to make it that easy for Dale McIssac, or should we say Angelo De Luca?

Then like a blast from the past… in walks another familiar face… Nick Doherty started receiving calls and texts begging to play for First Responders.  No, those cries for help didn’t come from Dominic DeFrancisco or his Assistant Elder Lopes… the call came out of necessity with the League Director sweetening the offer, by offering him an option to play with his fellow D2 Champion Mike O’Neill.

Who’s next on the post 2025 draft recruitment list?

Is the League Director going to postpone Matty Iannello’s Hall of Fame induction… just in case Cam Long is on track to not return… or is Matty Farrell and Tony Rolli next on the list of begging players to come out of early retirement.

Late Breaking News: At the time of this printing, we have a “Code Brown” as we just got word that Seth Ford has been officially assigned to the Poo Bears.

We reached out to captain Dave Costa for a comment on the addition of Seth and he said, “He’s good, I like some of his movies, I didn’t know he played hockey”… No Dave, that’s Seth Rogen (Never mind)

First Turn

We like to look at the hockey season in the form of (3) turns in the rotation of the 15-game schedule… and after the first third (5) games, here’s what we learned.

We learned that running an Over-30 League is not as easy as everyone thinks it might be.  You make a draft (that on paper), looks good… but then like a Japanese surprise attack on Pearl Harbor… you don’t foresee the last-minute bombings of the rosters with injuries, opt-outs, underperforming draft picks, and lack of team chemistry.

So, while players, teams, and captains all go into panic mode… The League Director does what he does best and looks at the teams, their immediate needs, and how he can help them compete.

First, he needs to address the necessities:

First Responders – Need scoring (Add: Nick Doherty).

The Revolution – Needed #1 Defenseman (Add: Jason Carrien)

Poo Bears – Needed another depth Defenseman (Add: Seth Ford)

Capo-Zero – Needed Scoring & Defense (Add: Kevin Wilson & Rob Greene)

Cam-A-Lot – Needs their franchise player Cam Long to clear IR

Tommy Guns – Needs nothing (Except jacket sizes)

With the trade and additions to the rosters in place… let’s sit back and see how the 2^nd third of the season plays out.

Greene New Deal

It seems all the players were in on the trades… but not their respective captains.  The first player to be moved was part of the Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez’ (AOC) and her “Greene New Deal”… where the League Director sent Rob Greene to Capo-Zero to fill the Paul White void.

To backfill Rob Greene… Jason Carrien returns to active duty after telling the League Director he didn’t want to be in the draft because he wanted to spend more time with his family… turns out, his family didn’t want to spend more time with him, as he happily  returned to action (and his perch on Hecklers Row) in Week #5.

5-Seconds

It only took Jason Carrien 27-minutes to get his first penalty of the season (before his first goal or even his first assist)… and it only took Pedro Fontes 5-seconds to score on said powerplay.

Pedro scored on a tic-tac-toe goal (off the draw)… Rob Sheridan to Dave Costa to Pedro Fontes… Jason barely had enough time to ask what time he gets out (with the new 1.5-minute powerplay calculations).

So, remember folks… you can lob the ball… but if it hits the ceiling (any part, anywhere) you too will get 1.5 minutes in the penalty box to think about the effects of lobbing.

Stamp of Approval

Manny Nunes put his “Stamp of Approval” on the “Greene New Deal” by scoring a hat trick (including the GWG) and he played a solid two-way game getting back to help his defense.

With the uptick in morale, The Revolution won their 2^nd game of the season… and now Steve Silveira can go back to being a #2 defenseman and focus on blocking shots and let Jason Carrien wear the #1 shirt.

Un-defeated

Attention former Roadrunners:  Please join Gary Goodwin for a commemorative shot to celebrate the last undefeated team (Tommy Guns) losing.  Don’t worry about what time you’re playing, Gary will make sure you don’t drink alone as he will probably have several celebration shots throughout the day.

The reason for the celebration is that Tommy Guns is now 4-1… but Tommy Gallagher and Paul Firicano are still 4-0… so I guess technically Gary will have to celebrate (again) once those two lose as well.

Here’s to the 2023 Roadrunners (Undefeated) 17-0 season… “Hip Hip!!”

Pumpkin Spice

Nick Doherty added a little “Pumpkin Spice” to his new team... and we are left wondering if he has some sweetheart of a deal with the league?  Maybe a free season, or a guaranteed prize win for one of the “Players Monthly Give Back”, or was it playing with Mike O’Neill that sealed the deal for Nick’s return to the league.

The last time Nick played in the league he was also wearing an orange jersey for the Jake-O-Lantern’s who infamously ruined Jim Barber and Olive Pits bid for the first ever three-pete championship.

We hear Netflix is working on a sequel to “Orange is the new Black”… it’s about a guy who joins a hockey team and sparks a struggling teammate with alcohol and scoring issues … it’s going to be called “Black is the new (sober) Orange”

DEI Line

With the addition of Nick Dohery, it looks like Mike O’Neill has been demoted to the second line… and with his linemates of Johnny Kelleher and Eddie Chin, we’re calling that line combination the “DEI Line”

Tie Goes to…

Everyone knows that the tie goes to the “runner”… and that “runner” was Lee Nogler.

Lee slimmed down in the “off-season” so he could run in the “on-season”.  Lee was seen chasing down Capo-Zero players and beating them to balls that he once would call an Uber for… or send his linemate to go chase down.

Lee might be starting to feel the pressure of being “the guy”… without Cam Long in the lineup. (For this reporter), we’re telling Lee to “Shoot” and don’t stop “Shooting” until the 3^rd period buzzer. 

Over-30 Math Question:  If Lee takes 10-shots a game… how many will go in for goals? 

Last week it was 60% as he took 5-shots and scored 3-goals.  Until Cam comes back… it has to be “Bomb’s away” for Lee.

Talent Weight

Last week it was speculated that Lee Nogler lost a ton of weight… and that some had concerns that some of his weight loss was “talent weight”.   Well after last week’s performance, it seems Lee put on 3-goals of “talent weight” back on.

He also won the Over-50 Tournament in Gloucester and was named MVP… Welcome back to the limelight Lee… were still eagerly awaiting what your stats will look like once Cam returns from IR.

Come to think of it… it might be you!!... as the reason your #1 linemate starts the season on IR.  Last year it was Rob Sheridan, this year Cam Long… you might have some of Gary Goodwin’s former “jinx stank” on you.  If you are infected, we recommend an exorcist (sooner than later), as Gary went like 25-seasons before he won a championship in the Over-30 League.

Unbeaten

Capo-Zero has themselves a little 3-game “unbeaten” streak… and look who’s next on the radar for them.  None other than The Revolution and their new high profile defenseman Jason Carrien.

This could be a statement game for Rob Greene… showing his new team what he has to offer them as part of the second-place team… and help put his former team 5-points further behind them, by sending The Revolution back into the basement.

Kevin Wilson and Rob Greene could be the two key players that finally get Angelo De Luca a champion(sssshhhhh) we can’t say it yet…, you’ll jinx it.

Thanks to technology and AI (Artie Insults) we now have the ability capture the Over-30 League in a whole new perspective, through comics.

Grab a bowl of your favorite sugar-based cereal and tune in Saturday mornings to relive your youth with “Saturday Morning Cartoons”