Over 30 Hockey League

The New Regime

Enjoy this weekend, this Saturday the inmates are running the asylum.  However, if you owe money and want to play next week (and the rest of the season) you need to pay up as this marks Week #12.

Even though Billy & Kellie are off this week, league officials will still be collecting at the registration table.  For those still owing, check with your captains for your balance due.

But remember, by Week #13 (next week) if you still have a balance, you had better plan on hitting the ATM in the lobby before walking upstairs.

The Abcunas’ are off enjoying some relaxing time in Florida… We’re still trying to confirm if they are at the Dave Costa condo or the Rob Sheridan estate… as part of their pre-season payoff bribes for their current 1^st place team. 

Either way, we know for sure they won’t be where those pesky kids are (Disney)

7-days

Don’t forget to clear your schedule next weekend.  Stay late or come early, as in between the 4:30 and 5:30 games we will induct Matty “The Great One” Iannello into the Over-30 Hockey League Hall of Fame.

The All-time Goals, Assists, and Points leader will be the 14^th inductee into the hall.

Don’t forget to gather and smile for the camera as Matty looks to break another record for the hall… the record of “largest group photo of an inductee”, currently held by Kellie Abcunas (48)

Instant Karma

After a controversial non-goal call was made… two eyewitnesses said they both saw it and it “crossed the line and got pulled out” by goaltender Dave Giusti.

Now, we don’t blame Dave for trying to keep his GAA low this season… after all, he is two-thirds into his blind goalie challenge, and we all know that betting and cheating is allowed at Bushwood.

But, before his “sleight of hand” goaltending… Dave was up 3-0 and in cruise control for a win, but his shenanigans may have got the best of him and his GAA.

After the Referee meeting and players complaining that it was in (and it was “in”), it was these types of moments that John Lennon wrote about when he said … “Instant Karma’s gonna get you”

On the ensuing faceoff it was Jose Silva to Gary Goodwin for the “Instant Karma” goal of the week and Dave’s luck continued to go south on him, as he went on to allow 4-goals to drop his GAA to 3.50.

Sobering Goal

Welcome back Gary Goodwin after a two-game hiatus.

Unlike Mike O’Neil who went “Sober for October”… Gary spent two weeks in detention before he started his “November to Remember” with a solid performance which included scoring a goal.

Remember that goal we just told you about Dave Giusti stealing… We’ll Gary was the guy who served Dave a bowl of Instant Karma with a “Sobering Goal” to make it 3-1 and start Dave’s GAA descent.

Gary’s sobering performance even had him filling in (for the middle game) and playing back-to-back for The Revolution, who were decimated with injuries and absentees.  Once again Gary played some major minutes and was a big help with The Revolutions 5^th win of the season.  No not that “5^th” Gary… no need to celebrate but keep up the good work!

Show-Off

Any other week and our NBHL (Tier 1) player, Mike O’Neill, shows up and just blends in.

But last weekend he brings his girl Emily and proceeds to light it up, and without Nick Doherty in the lineup, Mike was promoted from the “DEI Line” to the top line with Dominic DeFrancisco.

Mike scored a hat trick and added two assists as his girl watched from “Chick-lets Row”… Mike too could have started his own “November to Remember” after his “Sober for October” was a huge success.

Let’s see if he has an encore performance this week with Nick Doherty back in the lineup.

New Rule?

Capo-Zero captain Angelo De Luca is proposing a new rule for the Over-30 League.

Rule #66 (Proposal) The use of fill-in players should not only be based on comparable skill levels, but their playing time is also limited based on their skill level and thus not be allowed to play “the whole game” if they are a superstar player.

Last week The Revolution had (3) players on IR, (1) on vacation in Florida, and (2) healthy scratches, which left them (5) active players for their game.

Now let’s look at the (5) active players: On Defense Colleen O’Connell (A girl), Ray Dow (F’ em)… Forwards Manny Nunes (30-minute Manny), Dan Poirier Sr (Senior!), and Ron Aquino (Not Flyin’ Hawaiian).

Without the captain’s knowledge, the League Director assigned Mike Duggan as a “Defenseman Only” to make up for the absentee of Jason Carrien (#1) and Steve Silveira (#1A) to help Colleen (A Girl) and Ray (F’ em) on defense.

Then he assigned Gary Goodwin to make up for the loss of:  Jim Barber, Mike Luise, Rich Pelletier, and JR Liwanag.

Mike and Gary gave them 7-players, and after two shifts Ron went down with a pinched nerve… so in comes his (on-the-fly) replacement and equivalent Eddie “The Chin” Chin, to help The Revolution defeat Capo-Zero for the second straight time.

Rule #66 (Rebuttal)  Mike Duggan was playing the role of 7-players, and he did not “play the whole game” as implied.  He took regular shifts off… he spent 90-seconds in the penalty box and don’t forget he took a 4-minute “Shit Break” after he scored the first goal of the game and then immediately bolted to the bathroom, and probably why "Mama Doo-gan" calls her baby "Poopsie"...

Embellishment 9.5

If Angelo De Luca wants any new rule changes, then the board should consider bringing back the Manny Nunes “House of Cards” rule.

Before Manny was a Bonafide goal scorer and marquee player, Manny made his bones specializing in folding like a “House of Cards” when he had the slightest impact with an opposing player.  Manny was a notorious “Flopper” going back to the Revere days.

But as a reformed “Folding Chair”, Manny is now a legit #1 centerman, playmaker, a new league promotion to an “A” and with all his team’s recent injuries, he had to become a 30-minute player.

Why all the Manny backstory you ask?

Because last week while losing 3-0 Manny and Angelo made contact with the boards and Angelo when from “Capo-Zero” to “Flop-o Zero” as he embellished the contact from Manny so egregiously that we thought the delayed penalty was on Angelo for embellishment.

Even by Manny standards, it was a clear dive, and while Manny got 1.5 (in the box)… Angelo got 9.5 (from the Judges) and a league official who refused to give us his name. 

Thankfully, the ensuing and tainted PPG by former Revolution player Rob Greene didn’t fully derail the momentum that The Revolution was throwing at Capo-Zero… as they (Capo-Zero) had 9-players and “No Business Losing That Game” as another anonymous source said.

New Spice Girl

Move over Melanie Jayne Chishilm… aka “Mel C”… aka “Sporty Spice”, there’s a new “Sporty-spice” making waves with her own “Girl power”.

Colleen O’Connell is the new addition to the spice girls and her “Girl power” when going up against some of the best players in the Over-30 League.  Once an easy target, Colleen has been playing some of her best hockey at age 57 and shutting down some of our marquee players in the process.

Since “Sporty-spice” is probably trademarked,  we just need to figure out what Irish Spice Colleen (O’Connell) can be?

Maybe; “Thymely Spice” for her knack of having the perfect “Thyme” to make a poke check and also stepping up at the right “Thyme” on the line to keep the ball in the offensive zone.

Recovery Week

Some people just can’t handle media criticism.  After giving up the weakest goal (so far this season) embarrassed goaltender AJ Larabee took last week off… Probably after reading about his goaltending blunder from the week prior, and to work on his “foot work”.

Don’t worry AJ, chief fill-in goalie Jeremy Kelly filled in and took your 26-shots and the 4-3 loss for Tommy Guns (including one empty-netter).

Aside from missing the game and the loss… you also missed Johnathan Caffarrella’s first goal of the season during his triumphant return to action.

This week should be a good recovery week for you as your opponent Capo-Zero has averaged just 1-goal (per game) over the last 4-games.  So, once you get by the first goal, you should be good for the rest of the game.

“Pull…”

“To pull or not to pull that is the question…”  No, we are not asking what you do as soon as the wife, family, or girlfriend leaves you home alone.

We’re talking about when to “pull the goalie” for the extra attacker.

Some captains are very conservative and wait until under a minute (as to not give up an easy goal) and some don’t care if they lose by 2 or 3 goals.  The upstairs rink is probably one of the tiniest street hockey rinks and pulling the goalie is always risky business.

Last week Tommy Gallagher “pulled the trigger” on his fill-in goalie at the 1:40 mark and just 10-seconds later Leo Trombley flipped a ball on net from deep in his own defensive zone to solidify the win for Poo Bears.

It was their 6^th straight win to put them 4-points up and in sole possession of 1^st place.

Even players on Poo Bears were surprised at not only Tommy’s aggressive pull at 1:40… but how Leo didn’t miss an empty net.

Patients & Patience

Thankfully Rob Sheridan has a lot of patients (at work) and even more patience (on the rink) as this is another year where “Dr Rob” should be leading his team in goals, assists and points as some of the great players and leaders before him have done.

Goal scoring is a young man’s game… therefore Pedro Fontes leads his team in speed and goals with (14)… but even when Matty Iannello’s scoring touch dropped off… he still led his team in assists.

Rob’s still has the skillset to put himself in the Top-3 on the leaderboard (instead of 6^th)… but he needs some more cooperation from his teammates, who keep “robbing” him of those valuable assists.

With Rob’s playmaking ability he should be leading the team in assists, but instead his captain Dave Costa has that honor with 11-assists… probably because the players are afraid of Dave, as opposed to Rob who (by his own words) spent last season “working on his humility”.

Let’s go Rick Cassano and Leo  Trombley… bury those gifts from Rob, and you too will watch your stats grow.

Vacation Mode

Yes, the Abcunas’ are on vacation in sunny Florida, and yes Board Members are stepping up to keep the games running smoothly (and on time).  The League Director wants the same flexibility to be able to take a mid-season vacation (like you) and trust that the Over-30 League will run smoothly without them.

So, this week the Board Members are steering the ship… they are committed to the leagues status quo of;

• Paying your dues (if you owe)
• Make sure your beverages have mustaches
• No Kids and Visitors standing on benches
• No Spectators in  the penalty boxes
• No “C” or an “A”… “Zip It!!”
• Make sure the Referees are continuing to miss good goals
• After your game, gather your shit and get off the rink

Thank you in advance for your cooperation… and the Abcunas’ will see you next week.